How is proved that there is refusal of s*x by wife

Dear Natarajan / Adv Chandershekhar . 

 

Now, plz suggest on my case.. 

 

I filed divorce on the grounds of non-cohabition since 8 years. We have a son of 9 years. We have been staying separately in the same house on different floors since 8 years... hardly even see each others face. 

Now, she replied that I have been involved in MANY extra marital affairs in LAST 8 YEARS and hence have'nt been interested in s*x with her. She is lying but how to prove this ? Truth is, I have had one affair (of two years) in last 5 years and what if she proves that.... Will this go against me ? Can i not prove that - she was the one who refused to have s*x with me and hence i got into the affair.. ???

 

 

 

 

 

@adv chandrashekhar........thank you for your kind views on my query

@risingupagain:

On the basis of your post, your contention is: 1.  You filed divorce.  2.You do not have physical relation with your wife for the last 8 years. 3.  You admit that you had extramarital affair. 4.  Your reason for that is she refused to have physical relationship and hence you were plunged into extra-marital relationship.  YOUR GROUND FOR DIVORCE MIGHT BE CRUELTY AS DENIAL OF SEX AMOUNTS TO CRUELTY.

Now her averments are: 1. Both have no physical relationship for the last 8 years.  2.  You have extra-marital relationship(s). 3. That is why, she denied physical relationship.

All the facts are admitted by both the parties except the reason for not having physical relation.  Most importantly, you are admitting extramarital relationship and she also admitting it. Then, the court has no option except to grant divorce.  She tries to prove that you are trying to take advantage of your own wrong (your extra-marital affair).  Even then, 8 years of denial of physical relationship takes the court to tilt to grant the divorce decree. 

 

Dear ADV Chandershekhar, 

 

Following ur advice....    As she will just shout and blame me for ignoring her because of my affair...... Can i rather accept the extra marital affair in court...... and give her a shock.... She then would not have anything to shout on in the court.... 

In last 8 -9 years... i have been taking care of her expenses, fooding, and stay in the same house. From electricity bills to TV, internet etc...all is paid by me. No case of physical abuse or even dowry is there. But am sure she would file for it very soon.

 

Will my self admitting on the affair be accepted as  a practical problem in a normal human beings life and a divorce granted easily ??

 

8-9 years of marriage no s*x. I guess then she can ask for potency test, the one Asharam passed even at 72 years of age. What were you doing for so many years and why are you filing divorce now? She is your wife so obviously you have to maintain her. You can't claim TV expense, internet expense. What is your goal? 

@rising up again: I do not see any harm of your admitting the extra-marital affair after you are deprived of the physical pleasure from your spouse.  I hope you had put it in your petition itself or rejoinder. Admission of this gives a fair chance to obtain divorce, but may have repercussions in alimony.  If you succeed to convince the court that extra-mariatal affair was due to her continuous denial of s*x for many years, then it does not affect the alomony amount.  If she succeeds that she is keeping distance for so many years because of your extramarital affair, then alimony amount may be increased.  But, if these facts are admitted about non-existence of physical relationship for the last 8 years between the spouses, it leads to irresistable conclusion that the marriage is dead wood for both of you and leads to divorce decree.

dear ADV. Chandershekahr..

Thanks a word for ur kind advice....  Was following a similar thread and the views on it are different..... plz see and advice...........

.https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/Would-court-listen-to-why-adultery-happened--107311.asp#.VHghHzGUeM4

 

All experts clearly say..........Acceptance of extra martial is not allowed !!!! what to do now ????  

@rising up again- denial of s*x to you does not justify your acceptance of adultery, think twice in this. You will be shooting yourself in the foot. The court would naturally say, if you were denied s*x,you would have filed for divorce, and not under the garb of denial of s*x, you did adultery, you should show ur utmost suffering because of denial of your natural feeling for s*x,and yet you controlled yourself and did not indulge I, anything illegal. Tomorrow you may justify theft because of unemployment, which court doesn't accept illogical reply. Think again

@Rising up again,

Dont worry until your lawyer is able to convince court/judge about your stand you are safe.  And thats an art, how to put things in the right way before court. It would sound foolish to tell, I dint get sweets at home so i went out and found sweets elsewhere.  All these depend on how you have presented your case in your initial written statement + you should be able to emote enough in the witness box that how your sweety deprived you of se x and how you were forced to look for sweets outside of your marriage.  When you can convince someone else to give sweets to you, I am sure you can handle that much in the witness box.  

Pay proper fees to your lawyer.

In the other post, the vesion was sounding different and so the experts advised like that. By going that thread it appears that the queriest was emotionally involved with an unmarried girl EMOTIONALLY  and resulted to no physical relationship between the spouses.  If that was the case, the husband would get no relief.  But by denial of s*x by wife, the husband has developed extramarital affair, then it is not punishable under law.  But husband on that ground cannot get divorce for the reason that a petitioner cannot get any relief under Hindu Marriage Act for taking advantage of his own wrong.  Here, you are not seeking divorce on the ground of your adultery, but denial of s*x by wife for a continuous long period which amounts to "cruelty" as per law and its result is extramarital affair by husband.  Do not put the cart before horse.  You have to prove before the court what is cart and what is horse.  What is cause and what is effect?  They are interchangeable in this case.  So, the petitioner seeking divorce shall put forth his case meticulously.  By the way, you have already filed the divorce petiton and in that petition if you did not aver about your extramarital affair, this becomes mere academic discussion.