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house wife... (na)     14 November 2014

Chances of getting orders to go back matrimonial home in dv

i want to put ques to learned members of forum and my well wisher bros and sis.

my husband not allowing me and my little daughter to enter his home...since 2 years......on jan 2014 i put dv on him now in consideration stage....my husband is govt employ....how much chances for us to get orders THAT WE  could go back to matrimonial home

my husband want divorce and not even ready to take my daughter with him

my father spend near about 10 lakhs on my wedding

my husband is ready to give 10 lakhs but not any thing for my daughters future.........

should i take 10 lakhs and give him divorece or wait for courts proceddings to get monthly mainetance and orders to go back home and for how much time i have to w8 for getting orders and maitanace.

 who unfortunatly experience this reply  plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,.........



Learning

 9 Replies


(Guest)

Simply mentioning that you put DV is not enough.

You should also mention in your query under what sections you have asked relief.

Depending on that one can tell what will be the fate of your case.


Further, filing DV case is not a joke, and there is no fun in going back to husband's house forcibly using legal means.  There is no charm in it.  Most of it there wont be any value for you.  If your husband really wanted you and the kid, he would not have refused you both like this.  Though there is a provision under DV act for the relief that you are asking, it needs to be known whether it has been asked under the right section.  Even if such orders are passed, there are many ways for your husband to get rid of you, and getting restraining orders.


In my opinion, all these going back to husband etc should be done with love, affection and understanding, and not by using legal muscle power, what if after going back, your husband breaks your head, what will you do?  Will police be with you 24 x 7?  Even if your husband accepts you and kid out of fear of law, will that life be a happy one, what if some day due to hidden anger, he ends up breaking your head or does some irrepairable physical damage to you, what will you do then?  These are the very scenes I see in court every day, if something happens to you, nobody will take responsibility, at the most the magistrate will go to jail, if something happens to you, you only will have to suffer, along with you that kid also will suffer and your parentage will also suffer.  I am explaining to you practical things lady.  Think about all this before taking any decision of going back to your husband.


If your husband is ready to give back 10 lacs, accept it and agree for MCD, after you filing DV case there wont be much charm left in married life.  And if you dont accept 10 lacs, contested divorce case will take years, both you and your husband will roam to court for 7-8 years.  The kid will literally grown in court halls.


Hope sanity prevails.

 

You may wait for other ear pleasing replies from other esteemed members of LCI.

 

Dont forget to use the thank button to convey thanks.

 

All the best.

house wife... (na)     14 November 2014

only u can give this type of answer...thanks

Samir N (General Queries) (Business)     15 November 2014

To give you a proper answer, you have not given required details. Rs. 10 lakhs can be a lot to some people and very little to others. Right? One has to put this amount in context. You are saying that your father spent 10 lakhs on marriage.  That is the only monetary information you have provided as a context for someone to decide if you should accept that amount now as permanent alimony. 


10 lakhs, at 10% interest, if you indeed invest in something decent, will fetch you 1 lakh per year which is approximately 8333/- per month.  How much does your husband earn? How much do you earn? If you indeed file for maintenance, you will qualify for an amount based upon these other factors. If you offer these numbers as well as your potential to earn even if you are not currently earning, then some attempt can be made to put the 10 lakhs in context and give you proper advice.


If you are asking for maintenance, you ought to have asked it under different sections of the law/Acts. Under some sections, you can also get maintenance retroactively so that the delay in the legal proceedings does not impact you adversely.  If maintenance was your only goal, why did you file a DV case? DV Act has turned out to be a gun with blank bullets. Talk to an accountant as well as an advocate on deciding if a one-time alimony offered is better than what the Court will offer on a monthly basis... or post details here so that an appropriate answer can be given.

UniteFamilies (Social Worker)     16 November 2014

Considering taxation, alimony is tax free but not that 10 lacs if given to you without MCD. Judge can put stay on matrimonial home and allow you to enter that home. But are you going to be safe as pointed out by helping hand?

house wife... (na)     16 November 2014

sir ,

first of all thanks for ur response to my query

my ques is based on one thing.

like someone said to me that in dv case i only can get maintanance or residential orders..

means one of these 2...is it right?

and next to samir sir...i appriciate ur responses to everyone and to me also.as u always give biased free advise to all.

y husband is govt employ and earning 50 000 per mon...have mother who is getting pension 20k permon..

have one house on his f

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     16 November 2014

1.  You will definitely get the order to reside at matrimonial home, i.e., where your husband is residing. 

2.  In the same D.V. case you will get residential rights as well as maintenance orders.  Maintenance will be given to you and to your daughter.

3.  If he does not want to stay with you, let him file divorce case.  He should show to the court that why he wants divorce.  You can contest the case on merits.  You need not accept his condition that he would pay back the marriage expenses and you should give divorce to him.  It is not easy for him to get divorce like that.

house wife... (na)     16 November 2014

thanks mr. chandrashekhar ....

u got my ques ...thanks for reply....

as my husband not giving my original certificates...and also filed defamation suit on me and my relatives which was dismissed recently...he said that he filed defamation and will get 25 lacs of that...but nothing happend and case was closed as he is found guilty in police station....

many aspects favour me like his appeal in court to dismiss my  dv caseitself dismissed....he aid that i deserted him...bt truth is that he dont let us enter the house.....now he is trying all means to get divorce ..he provoke my family by using misswords in women cell....assesinate my character that i will leave him any way ..trying hook and crook...

offer 10 lacs then on other side in front of our advocate that he will give only 2lacs to me and 2 to my daughtr

not giving my gold ornaments....

pushing us by all means.....said divorce case is ready from his side bt till now he not put any divorce case...only saying divorce case is ready...give me divorce .....in front of mediation cell

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     16 November 2014

It is very important for you to get back your original certificates as well as gold ornaments.  In your DV case, ask your advocate to file appropriate application for recovery of these two things and also, if mediation is going on in women cell, there also ask the police personnel to use their inflluence to get back those things there itself.  Wish you best of luck.

Samir N (General Queries) (Business)     16 November 2014

When you get involved in a matrimonial legal dispute, the first thing to do is to identify your objective. This is something that most of us fail to do and as a result we prolong our mental torture. When my ex-wife filed for divorce, I tried to oppose it because that's what any advocate's natural tendency was: To oppose what the other party wants. Then it dawned upon me and I asked myself: Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with this woman who is...  And contrary to natural tendency to oppose, I looked at her petition as a blessing in disguise and got a divorce decree. Details are not relevant but the point I am making is that DO NOT SEEK RELIEF THAT IS CONTRARY TO WHAT YOUR HUSBAND IS DEMANDING MERELY BECAUSE YOU NEED TO OPPOSE WHAT HE WANTS. 


So, you must first and foremost decide whether you want a divorce or whether you want to spend the rest of your life with him. That is not enough. You must also know for sure if he wants to be with you or not and if there are any changes you can make, compromises for example, that will make the relationship last. Then you must be sure that you can actually make those compromises, whatever they are, for a long period and not just in the interim to make the divorce ghost go away. After evaluating such hard facts, you must come to a FIRM conclusion about your objectives. After that, the rest is easy.


LEGAL APPROACH, if you agree to the above quasi-philosophical thoughts, then if he files for a divorce, it means that he does not want to be with you. Really, there is NEVER a point in staying with someone who does not want you.  Then should you just admit to his allegations and bend over? No. What you should then do is to file a counter-petition or counter-claim and seek divorce from him based upon your allegations, whatever they be, cruelty or desertion, for example.  If he does not file a divorce petition and also refuses to be with you and your child or take care of you, file a divorce petition yourself and seek all the relief you need there, along with a 125 Cr.P.C. application for maintenance and demand for return of sridhan, certificates, etc. 


So, what about the ongoing DV case? After you file a divorce petition, seek a voluntary dismissal of the DV case with an application which expressly states that you are seeking dismissal without prejudice to your right to seek the same relief in the Family Court. This way the dismissal order does not impact your rights in the Family Court.  You mention "judicial efficiency" and saving of judicial resources and avoiding multiplicity of proceedings to justify your application. Result: You can focus your energy and advocate costs in one Court. Contrary to popular belief, there is NOTHING that a DV petition gives to a woman that she cannot get in Family Court. The whole idea of DV was to give expedited relief to a woman. In practice, it does not work that way.


With respect to your original question about 10 lakhs, since he is not genuinely interested in giving that amount, your query is moot.  Based upon his income, Rs. 2 lakhs or even 4 Lakhs is not sufficient one-time alimony.  If you see him as an upwardly mobile person, financially, then do not go for a one time settlement. If you see him as a loser, financially speaking, then a one-time settlement is advisable because you do not know what the future holds. 



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