Dear Shoneeji and Gosaviji,
Shoneeji, your words make me feel so positive. Thanks you have been real help since my first questions. I am sure lots of other people in this forum think same.
Gosaviji,
Thanks for cotributing your valueable time for me:
Now: I know this is long but please read it.
If she got evidence against you of cruelty or otherwise not clear?
I never harresed her. Of course we used to have little "Tu Tu Mai Mai" but thats all. However, I had smaked her on one occassion, when she came from party at 12:30, drunk and her boss came to drop her off. I told her not to stay till that late and drink but that all.
She then striaght away called police and I spent 1 night in jail. (happened in 2009/10 in US)
Next day I came home, loved her and apologies to her. After few days again she came from party, this time one of our family friend brought her as she was damn drunk and unconsious. I had to then admit her in Hospital for 1 night. I didn't fight this time but gave her love and words of advice.
I then sent her boss pleading email not to call her in party as it put me in very ackward situation. (happened in 2010 US-my family wasn't with me, we used to live there)
After that we moved to another house and then she used to go to late night party but I never touched her sometime I used to get drunk and used to tell her few bad words but never harm. But then that didnt make her stop to go to party.
{During all these time my parents used to take care of my baby who was in India }
What was understanding before marriage.
Before marriage as I was in US (student visa) and she was in Malaysia [both indian citizen-but she has permanat res. of Malaysia} she came to US on my dependant. She likes to live abroad so I was agree with her. When my visa about to finish I asked her that we should settle down in Malaysia as she has PR and we wont have any problem. Our kid will be brought up there as well. We both agreed to idea. She then came to India stayed at my place for 10 days and then went to her parents house for 1 month and came back to my home and stayed for 15-20 days and left my baby back with my parents and went to Malaysia.
I during that time, found the job interview, accomodation for her. I also transferred 600 pound and later 6600 pound in her account so she doesn't get any problem.
I then after 4-5 month came to India and waiting her to put up my file. We used to talk daily when I was in UK but after I came back to India I asked her if she calls me as it was much cheaper and comfortable as I wasn't working-enjoying my holidays. I however used to call her once in while from INdia too! After few months she lost her job and I found her one more from India( found specific job according to her skills, asked her how to prepare for interview etc.) ...but the main thing was she never placed up my file....suddenly she used to stop frequently and called once in monh. During this time I didn't work as I wanted to spend full time with my baby plus any good company asked you to sign 2 years minumum contract for work and we decided that I would join her with in 3 or 4 months.
One day I asked her that I will come on visitor visa and then we will put up file from there, it will be faster too. She said come with baby, I said, this doesn't make sense on visitor I can't work and then how we are going to survive with our baby. let me come get PR (3 to 6 months maximum) and we will call our baby. My was that time studing in Junior K.G. and she is very bright student. She said, come with baby or I will not come to pick you up at airport!!!
I called her dad and explained that his daughter is not understanding the situation. I asked him that should we live together as we are husband and wife. (by now it was approximately 7 months we were apart from each other) He said,"You both didn't ask me when you got marry so do not include me in this!"
After this she called and said,"I will only keep my baby so give her to me. I will call you once I regain trust in you as you have beaten me and gave me lots of trouble while back in US." I said," I didn't but if you still believe it then it was before a year, why don't think of present and think of our baby," But she didn't listen.
She then, without informing me, came to INdia at her parents house at Delhi and then called me that I will come to take my baby. I said,"No". She then without telling came at my home at 10 pm to take her, I refused. After that she filed 498a, 406, etc on my family................
How she will take care of the baby after taking custody if allowed?
She doesn't work at the moment she lives with her parents in very small town near by Delhi. Her dad is landloard and may show in court that they will support my baby.
My thinking which may be right 99.99 %:
She will either go to US where her parents have multipal visitor visa and her unmarried brother, sister lives there on student or work permit. She is that much stupid or blind that she can go on visitor and can over stay without hesitation. She may get marry to someone to get citizenship faster for sure.
OR
She will go back to Malaysia and ask government to help her out with free accomodation and money allowances.
I know she is her mother but I do not trust her. She didn't even spend more than 1 year with her. When my baby was 6 months old, she couldn't even make her sleep, I used to take her on my shoulder and petting her long till she goes to sleep!! My wife is so careless, materialistic and doesn't think what is realstic. Her parents never supported her for our marriage and for the sake of court they may show they will support her but afterward they will not.
She already left her previous baby to marry me and to come to US. How can I trust her now that she will not marry to someone for the sake of going aborad? What about my daughter, she will have to be brough up with step-dad, who may not even care for her. !!!! when i will be here crying everyday for my princess.
However you can file a case of Restitution of Conjugal Rights
My family and I do not trust her that she will not do the same to my family. My parents fed her with their own hand. They came to US by their own expense because she was preganat and needed support.
I still sake of my little princess, may think to live with her but not with my family. I then have to live separately may be in Malaysia. But after all this, I do not know what should I do? Does filing RCR make my case stronger or can I just honestly and simply tell court that I want my baby to be loved by both of us but I do not trust my wife at all.
Is there any legal documents we can do that she will not harrase us falsly in future??
Thanks a lot for reading such a long message.
Raj