Charu @ If your husband is NOT willing to file a divorce petition then please, please don’t give him the reason to file the divorce by sending this RCR first. I am sure that response of an RCR will be the divorce petition only. I think you are trapped somewhere in between the lawyer’s arguments. Few lawyers have the motive to scare their client first then whitewash their brain and finally present a hypothetical model about their future and suggest their client to sue their spouse first. Remember, it’s not on first come, first serve basis. In matrimonial cases, even judges know that who is coming first is having wrong intentions. As a girl, you are more secure because of Indian Laws. I am NOT sure why you are thinking that your husband will file the divorce petition based on his parent’s suggestion? Most men do NOT prefer divorce at all. I can say that 90% of husbands feel offended when they heard the term divorce. Though, most of men prefer to live alone and free but it’s for the time being. In most of the marriages, men feels that they are trapped but don’t really file the divorce or if filed a petition by them they are more willingly to take it back (until their wife does not respond him back). You can’t change the mentality of your husband but you can secure your position in his heart. In nutshell, what I can say is that don’t proactively take this action. Though, by filing the RCR first, you would be able to secure your position legally (only for a shortwhile) but you won’t able to secure your relationship. Legally, you can get the money by filing RCR first but NOT relationship!
Let’s me take a worst case example here. If your husband file the divorce first (based on his parents) then takes him through the mediation since he does not want to take the divorce, you will have fair chances to explain him that you haven’t done anything wrong and still you are open to spend the life with him. More or less it will take months of time to explain him that you don’t want divorce and finally at some point of time, he will confess that it’s his family, who are wrong here. Whereas, if you are going to file an RCR first, though it can help you to save from legal aspect but in long run, you would regret that you have took this call first. Believe me; I broke my half of the case in mediation by letting my mother-in-law know that what wrong she did to her daughter and me.
I personally feel that any spouse (husband or wife) should not take this call first. I have one another case going through PM (where father of groom) want their daughter-in-law comes back but doesn’t know how. They have the same feelings that their daughter-in-law will sue them first and then their daughter-in-law will have first-come advantage. Courts are not made-up for building the relationship; It’s meant for criminals and getting over from the relationship.
I can give you a long-term advice to save your relationship but can’t give you any legal advice. As I am fully aware that legal advice won’t take you anywhere than divorce. One CANNOT force a relationship or love to someone. There are 100s of sections written in law books which can put anyone into any trouble. If you know few of them then don’t think so that you are going to save your relationship. Please don’t take it wrong but think it in a positive direction.
Call your husband and tell him that you want to come back. Please don’t put any conditions but just explain him that how bad you feels and how many wrong things has happened with you in past. Before you start again, I will suggest you to go through meditation (yoga) classes first. It will help you to remain positive in most critical/unusual circumstances as well. Please don’t stick with your past, forget your past… God helps those, who help themselves.
Call your husband and join him back. I know, it’s little hard for you as of now to live your life like this but it’s for time being. Just focus on positive aspect of your life, think how much he loves you! Talk to him, stay with him to make him realize that you’re both important to each other. If you’ve been taunted then try to ignore it. Love them and don’t bother what someone says about you. It seems to me an honest and patient girl; please don’t ruin your relationship. Court is not for you at all!
Another example, I can give you from my personal life is my aunty whom I respect a lot, have been continuously taunted by her in-laws for 10 years (haven’t allowed to meet anyone literally) but once these 10 years were over, she lived a happy life thereafter. My uncle is a very smart and gentle personality but did not able to speak against their parents and she didn’t regret on this now. Everyone gives the example of her. Patience is the beauty of a kind woman.
Think positively and remain positive. No matter, how much your father-in-law going through the court, how bad a lawyer is… Angels always wins over the bad, evil and dirty people!
Mango
