maheswari1 (Service) 23 September 2009

Cousin marriage in Tamilnadu and custom

I got married in 1982 with my maternal uncle's son. After the marriage he abused the relationship in everymanner and made a hell within the four walls of the house. we always lived in terror as to what is going to annoy him and for what i am going to beaten. my kids also lived their childhood in this terror. he never had any love for the children nor for the wife. he only used me for his pleasures and for his service. though i was more qualified and come from a more financially sound family. i tolerated all his abused for 17 years and i lost my patience and decided to become an independent person who can manage to take care of kids and herself. he is bascially a sadist and mentally a sick person. He also filed a divorce case once he got convinced that i have gone out hie clutches writting down all false things about me. he never bothered to attend to court but whenever there seems to do some delay tactics he would come and delay the proceedings. He did not come to court when there was a cross examination to be taken and finally the judge dismissed his case. I also filed a divorce case and fought for 8 years. now it has come to final stage and judge is asking about the customery part followed in tamilnadu. why u have not mentioned in your petition and how can there be divorce when it is a marriage between brother and sister. in north this is not the pratice or custom. but in tamilnadu they follow this custom . now how do i convince the judge. if he dismisses the case i cannot get any alimony and how will get my kids marriage. he left us in lurch when we very badly needed him. due to his behaviour the kids carrier also got spoiled as i was not getting any financial help. he is working in IAF. kinldy advice me regarding the custom part and its legality. My petition was prepared by some one earlier and i never knew that this portion is going pose an hinderence. If this part of custom is not proved then i will be left in high and dry. My children has come to a marraigble age and how can do it without any kind of financial support. My life has already been spoiled and i would like to save my kids life. please help me.

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R.R. KRISHNAA (Legal Manager) 23 September 2009

The judge is right in holding that you and your husband are within the degrees of prohibited relationship and certainly he may not grant divorce. The marriage between you and your husband is in the eyes of law is NULL and VOID. Under such circumstances you cannot get divorce. But you can get an order from court that your marriage be declared or annulled as null and void on the above ground. A marriage can be declared null and void if certain legal requirements were not met at the time of the marriage. If these legal requirements were not met then the marriage is considered to have never existed in the eyes of the law. This process is called annulment. It is very different from divorce in that while a divorce dissolves a marriage that has existed, a marriage that is annulled never existed at all. Thus unlike divorce, it is retroactive: an annulled marriage is considered never to have existed. Your case falls under the annulment of marriage and not under divorce.

maheswari1 (Service) 23 September 2009

Thanks for your reply but while browsing through the net I could find this article where there is a custom those areas law has given recognition. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955 bars marriage within five generations on the father's side and three on the mother's side. But it permits the marriage of cross-cousins where this is customary. The Dravidian Hindus of South India find marriage between cross-first cousins (the related parents of each cousin being a brother and sister) to be a preferred marital union. In fact in whole of South India this kind of custom is followed. There is Madras Amendment act I really could not find that but if such marriages are null and void then most of the marriages in south india would not get legal permission. This custom is basically followed only to save the family property from going out and the girl also would feel comfortable in the known place. Please check these details and let me know. I would be very thankful to u if u could find these for me.

maheswari1 (Service) 23 September 2009

Thanks for your reply and valuable suggestions. The case has already to come to final arguments. My husband never comes to the court. If I prove this to be a legal marriage then the decision is going to be in favour only. The judge said first of all i need to prove that there is a custom and i should mention it in the petition. I really don't know where to get law for these issues. I have been running to court for the past 8 years and now i am fed of these dates after dates. I have become too tired of running like this. Is there is Madras amendment act or the customs in Tamilnadu which has been given recognition by law. please enlighten me.