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Husband's Extra Marital affair

Page no : 3

(Guest)

Renuka agree with Roshni that this case is fit for a DV  case ??My answer is ;

This case doesn’t fit in DV case .Suppose you file what remedy the wife should get?

 In Dv act section 23 Power to grant interim and ex parte orders .-

 (1) In any proceeding before him under this

Act, the Magistrate may pass such interim order as he deems just and proper.

  (2) If the Magistrate is satisfied that an application prima facie discloses that the respondent is committing, or has committed an act of domestic violence or that there is a likelihood that the respondent may commit an act of domestic violence, he may grant an ex parte order on the basis of the affidavit in such form, as may be prescribed, of the aggrieved person under section

 But how this order should implemented .as parents advise failed and court order binding to him ?NO ,he became more aggressive and after filing Dv case the relation become bitter between them also husband (doctor ) reputation down .

Just read the section 3. Definition of domestic violence.If the judge interpret in a meaningful way then something happen .

But again this is the only one solution that renuka nand roshni said  ,lets file a Dv case and see what happens next.

hedevil hydraheaded (non professional )     30 October 2010

 

@Kushan ji

If Time is money , all unemployed persons would be having so much of money and our government would encourage schemes for how to make people unemployed. 

Time is money

An unemployed person has no work to do

There for s/he has time

Therefore s/he has money

Therefore generate unemployment  to make people wealthy!!!

 


(Guest)

There are three ways to keep on: confront, forgive and save the relationship or terminate the relationship through divorce (or separation). You have to find out the best! The right one is the one that is bestforyou and your inner self. Even so, never continue the relationship without forgiving, never get into divorce without carefully thinking and never get into confrontation without gaining. Also, you should be fully aware that you are not responsible in any way of your partner behavior. Even if you failed in something and that failure is used as an excuse by your partner to justify his/her actions, you are not responsible, if you think that you can continue living and sharing with this person and if you trust that hewill quit cheating on you and ifitisthe bestforyou and ifheasksfora second chance, then you can decide if he deserves your forgiveness. There is nothing wrong with forgiveness but as long as it is good for you. Don! forget this. If you think and feel that cheating on you is something that worth ending your relationship, then this is the way to go. Start with legal advice and prepare everything to end your marriage as fine as possible to both parties. You won't gain everything to make miserable his life as long as you get what you want.

hedevil hydraheaded (non professional )     30 October 2010

It's on the basis of my reading of what domestic violence means I have given my opinion, though my opinion is not a legal opinion. 

Relationship is already bitter and why the wife should care about reputation of his husband after going through so much? I suppose there is no point in flattering the husband's ego...

And it depends on the interpretation of lawyer on the nuances of a non physical but highly damaging violence of mental and emotional nature. 

One of my friend's husband used to tell her   that as long as he did  not harm her  physically, he  was safe, that he would  drive her  mad with his  non physical torture, like not speaking to her, turning his face away in her presence, not letting her touch him and avoiding her company in public places and social occasions. This chap also was involved with an unmarried woman. 

This myth that domestic violence can be only physical, need to be really be broken, though it is difficult to prove emotional violence in the courts. That is the challenge before an advocate who handles such cases. 

 I will be very happy to have experts' opinions --kushan has given his--on this issue for an interactive learning. 

hedevil hydraheaded (non professional )     30 October 2010

Instead of I have given my opinion, please read I am giving my opinion, while agreeing with Renuka Ji.

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     30 October 2010

since the "respectable honourable dignified " ( am falling short of words) unmarried GF jee cant be punished in any way, and husband is not bothered abt his wife and little child whose future is at stake,neither about his own parents in old age,nor about his old inlaws etc etc etc.....how long can the wife keep forgiving/waiting for him?

if u say that on filing DV case her relations wid inlaws will be strained,then shud she remain a doormat all her life to this man just to maintain relations...this is the plight of indian women...that to maintain or please elders u have to sacrifice.. 

 

u say the relations b/w the couple will become bitter on filing case...r they any good now?have reconciliatory talks not failed?

let his reputation get tarnished....this is the only way...rather i will say(many of u will not like it) that once she files this case,she can also request this case or its outcome to be published in newspaper,without any anonymousity...let the honourable GF jee get embarassed...let this doctor get embarassed...we read so many such cases in papers...nth.new....the only way to discipline is to let them get a taste of wot shame is all about..

even if the marriage breaks the daughter atleast wont have regrets that she dint get justice...otherwise she will keep thinking that she neither got her husband nor her rightful justice.its v.painfulif justice is denied to a victim.

i also want to ask the author if the son in law is living with that woman or just meets her daily,but lives wid his wife?

 

if he lives with the gf,is he living in another house of himself?

if yes,doesnt the author's daughter have a right to this house,as she's the wife of its owner?

and can she make a case of trespass against the honourable,respectable,highly dignified,divine GF jee?

(sorry feminists,am falling short of words again..maaf kar do naa)

respected lawyers,kindly let us know if tresspass case can be made as explained in the above sentence.

still the author is requested to go tru all advice,including assembling at the honourable GF's parents' house with supporters and tell them the whole thing...


(Guest)

 

if he lives with the gf,is he living in another house of himself?

if yes,doesnt the author's daughter have a right to this house,as she's the wife of its owner?

and can she make a case of trespass against the honourable,respectable,highly dignified,divine GF jee?

If tresspass case can be made as explained ?

Answer; HAahahaa!!!!:PNo dear No

We all are helpless at this time ,I have already answer it.

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     30 October 2010

kushan ji

u wrote

Only One remedy 497.     Adultery: -

 

how in this particular situation 497 .adultery attracted?

Renuka Gupta ( Gender Researcher )     30 October 2010

Other legal experts' take would be useful in this context, apart from Kushan ji's opinion.

Being a wife, she has a  case for DV, this is my take and she can claim for compensation and separate arrangement for residence, can't she?

The question is not so much if other woman is punished or not, she will not be punished as legal experts have opined. It would be very difficult to put  the other woman to public shame . The husband  remains primarily responsible for his misconduct  of indulging in extra marital relation/s.   The important question here is that in the existing circumstances whether  husband can be reprimanded  through DV case for the wrongs he has done to his wife and if the DV case would secure reliefs which the wife is entitled to. 

 Views of other experts would help in clarifying the issue of feasibility of DV case and the kind of releifs the wife would be entitled to.  I am eagerly looking forward to opinions of other experts to enhance/correct our understanding on this issue. 

 

 

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     30 October 2010

just few days back everybody was against using word KEEP for this honorable , respectable , dignified , reputable,      acclaimed, celebrated, chivalrous, conscientious, dependable, distinguished, eminent, esteemed, ethical, faithful, forthright, high-principled, honest, honored, illustrious, just, knightly, law-abiding, noble, notable, of good repute, on the up-and-up, principled, reliable, respectable, righteous, sincere, sterling, straightforward, trustworthy, truthful, unstained, upright, virtuous LADY. NOW EVERYONE IS hellbound to defame her publically.

what a contrast.

when real life situation is visible you want to defame /malign such a dignified lady. why?

see threads below

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/The-word-Keep-in-Judgement-26143.asp


https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/KEPT-OUT-OF-BOUNDS-26158.asp

Renuka Gupta ( Gender Researcher )     31 October 2010

 

If Avinish's dig is at me, which may be or may not be, I would like to clarify certian things:

I still do not use the word Keep for the reasons I had given in various threads. I  beleive that the main culprit remains husband for his extra marital affair, though I condemn the other woman's action,  if with full knowledge she has entered into a relationship with a married man.  I had replied to a fellow being's suggestion to put to the other woman to public shame, and I have said that it would be very difficult to put her to public shame. Since my focus was on the DV case, I did not want to elaborate on why it would be difficult.

I again repeat that I am totally against using words like Keep and cucumbine for a woman who a man has extra marital relation with. Keep does not have any agency( power to decide), the keep denotes s*xual slavery and hence it is not apporiate to use these words. Here I do see the wisdom of  the person who had contributed to shaping up the domestic violence act.

Even if Avnish has not indicated me( which she should not have), I thank her for giving this context which encouraged me to clarify my stand once again.

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     31 October 2010

it was not  a personal comment/ post for anyone.

there was one more thread too to safeguard this other womens' right

dv is not at all applicable in this case , wat protection order she will pray for in this case?

we all were for safeguarding this other womens right in another thread , but wen we see that we are protecting a wrong doer everyone is of opinion to humiliate this women publically.

see protection of rights of this other women in light of wat a wrong she has done to a legally to rights of a legally wedded wife , now everyone will be opposed to her.

so i feel there is no merit in protecting her rights to the extent of expunging word keep from judgement. she deserves this word , as she is the creator of this situation. this is less humiliating than humiliating her publically and confronting her with evidence of adultery publically, which i feel is very wrong and illegal too.

Renuka Gupta ( Gender Researcher )     31 October 2010

 

Agreed that any attempt to humiliate the  other woman is illegal as well as undesirable.  The husband  remains primarily responsible for his misconduct  of indulging in extra marital relation/s. 

Coming to DV case, can't the wife claim compensation and a separate residence( it is an inquiry for my education) to get rid of this psychological and emotional torture? I would think Protection is not just protection from physical violence, it is protection from emotional and mental abuse too. And as far as wife is concerned, she is going  through the severe mental abuse by the misconduct of her husband.

I am still awaiting legal experts' opinion on this issue. 

Avnish can I ask you if you are a legal consultant  and have handled cases which involve domestic violence in terms of emotional and psychological abuses? 

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     31 October 2010

yes wife can claim compensation , protection orders , custody orders and residence and maintenance order under dv act,but in facts of present case  going by the true fact of only adultery by husband and no other verbal / physical abuse no such claim can be made unless u makeout a case of physical , verbal and other abuses.

in this case a case for monetary compensation to some extent may be established for emotional  abuse. but she cannot get husband back or other woman out of his life thru dv act.

i am working as a counsellor in family court.
 

Renuka Gupta ( Gender Researcher )     31 October 2010

GV Azad Ji,

for your daughter to lead a dignified life, encourage and support her in upgrading her qualifications and building a good career. She is still young and there are many career avenues open to her, if she has good educational qualifications. Direct your thinking to solutions which are focused on your daughter's dignity. For seeking justice file a DV and divocre cases against the boy and engage a competent lawyer.

We see cases of many women who struggle within their marital homes and lose important years of their lives. It is better that your daughter  uses each and every year not in frustration in marital home, but to rebuild her self esteem which this type of experiences lower in a woman.

In my opinion,  your daughter would be much happeir if she moves ahead in life rather than facing such emotionally and psychologically abuses every day. As a father, ensure a respectable space in her parental place where she can restart her life, this time to become self relaint. Your daughter would soon find feet and would take her past experiences as a bad dream. Give child care support to her , if she has any , and leave her free once again to pursue her studies and career.  You wil be happy at the end of a couple of years to see your daughter living her life with head held high.

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