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Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     27 May 2011

Is education the one and only way 2 end female abuse in India?

The is the biggest myth we all have,that education will "transform" humans and make them broad minded.

 

I support education for all.Rather it's our birth right.But education is not THE ONLY WAY to curb evils in society.

A person's attitude,family's moral values,mental conditioning,and environmental influences on his personality ultimately decide whether he follows moral uprightness,or immoral paths.

There are so many examples you can see around yourself,where educated families illtreat the daughter/daughter inlaw,follow irrelevant customs and do many more things which an "educated" person isn't supposed to do.

A few examples:

 

1. Highly educated guys like IAS,IIT engineers,MBAs from IIM,CAs,Doctors,etc demand dowry worth lakhs.Has their education changed their attitude?

 

2. NRI families expect and give lavish marriages.Their daughters who may be P.HDs,fashion designers,etc & have been born and brought up abroad in liberal society never seem to oppose this financial pressure on their parents.

 

3. Since the British period,schools and colleges imparting western system of education that focusses on liberty,equality and democracy have mushroomed.This has been happening since 1800s.Yet the crime rate on women namely dowry demanding,pressure on their parents to arrange "decent" marriages,infanticide,etc just does not seem to go away.Rather it's increasing.

 

4. Just go to any good discotheque or pub in a metro like Delhi or Mumbai.It will include all the educated boys and girls,studied in the best schools,colleges,management institutes,etc.Ask an elderly or a mentally handicapped person to go and seek their help.aTlk to them humbly and see their manners.Many of them(not all) will misbehave or make fun.

Their education has not given them any refinedness.Most drunken driving is done by such people after a late night party.Then they fight and argue with police officers who have arrested them.They try to bribe.Has their education taught them any manners or morality?

 

Imagine a bride entering their home as a sister inlaw and facing harassment in their home.Do you think they will support her,now that they are EDUCATED?If yes,I am sure there are no DV cases being heard of in families where the brother inlaws,sister inlaws and mother inlaws are "EDUCATED"

 

See the world of media.All our heroines,heroes,directors,producers are well educated people.But you know what they engage in.Has education changed their mindset.

 

 

 

5. Have you watched AAP Ki Kachehri Programme on TV?If you ever noticed, the warring parties shown in that program were mainly from lower middle income group and lower income group families.Hardly there were cases involving rich and highly educated families.

Yet the aggrieved women who participated were very straighforward and assertive about their rights.They did not worry that the world is watching them.They only worried about getting their back rights and dignity.

 

One example:My widowed maid who had worked in my house many yrs. back also participated in that prog.She had  brought her son and bahu as respondents.My maid is ILLITERATE;leave alone educated.Her son had cheated her.So she demanded her money back,which she managed to get also.Did she have any education that made her so confident to stand up for herself?

Not only this,my illiterate maid had also once filed a complaint against her husband in police thana when he was alive.He regularly physically abused her.After the complaint,the police would keep him in lock -up,then release him the next day.This went on many times.She never took his abuses lightly but always went to police whenever this happened.

Surprisingly,her husband transformed himself, turned into a good husband and they started having a good married life.This man was also illiterate.Yet he transformed!Did he learn to read and write before transforming?Did he get educated before transforming?Or did it have to do with his own conscience & personality?

sSimilarly,did the maid have any education with her that made her so confident enough to protest against the attrocities of her husband and son?

So,is the partriarchal mindset more of a moral problem,or is it more of an education related problem?

 

Even in highly educated families,partriarchal mindsets exist.Go thru this news,which is a glaring example of how rich and EDUCATED families in India's metros also commit female infanticide.

 

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/selective-abortion-prevented-birth-of-millions-of-girls-37534.asp

 

.Don’t forget you also see around yourself poor girls living in jhuggis.Why did their parents not kill them during birth?Were they partriarchy driven, or morally driven?

In our schools and colleges,we only study Maths,English,Hindi,Science etc.If we do a professional course like designing,then we study management,principles of designing,apparel merchandising and so on.These subjects only give you bit of technical and clerical skills.They can't transform you or change your thinking.

In the above case also,my maid was simply a self respecting lady,although she had no education.But she had some qualities like confidence and assertiveness which we cannot gain through education.

You cannot become self respecting,kind hearted and adjusting natured  by studying English,Maths,Science,designing,biochemistry,physics and so on.

 

You develop these qualities due to your own upbringing,environmental influences on your psyche,your own attitude,your openness to adopt new but healthy ideas,your compassion level and your level of wordly wisdom.You only learn facts from books.You can't learn wisdom from books.

Once we understand this aspect,we will stop focussing on education as the only way to transform people.Education only gives information about facts.It cannot do anything beyond this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Learning

 11 Replies

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     27 May 2011

Is education THE ONE and ONLY WAY 2 end female abuse in India?

 

---   no.

reason for abusing females deeply routed in our culture.

it has two sides -

(1) animal instinct of a man

(2) cultural heritage of a man, which tells the man you are super than the female, and man belives this sweet imagination.

1 Like

(Guest)

Very Good Article Roshni.

 

 I agree with fact that educated families illtreat the daughter/daughter inlaw,follow irrelevant customs...

 

 

so it not only applies to middle calss or poor or iliterate but also in educated family.


And not only AAP Ki Kachehri Programme but also in courts you see the  parties shown in court-room were mainly from lower middle income group..And higher class family dont wate their time to file like Dv act or 498A they prefer Divorce By mutual consent.


Education is necessary but everybody shuld preserve our indian  culture and moral in life .

 

 

thats why you all the difference between the metro girls(educational point of view they are brod minded )

 

compared to rural city.

 

 

And now indian society are changign through technology innovation like mobile,social networking sites, mails,molls,cinemas etc..

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, to know visdom then read good books thats why somebody said books are our best friends and you can read these books on online also.

 

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     27 May 2011

higher class family dont wate their time to file like Dv act or 498A they prefer Divorce By mutual consent.

 

---   wrong impressions.

they also fight for their legal rights.

perhaps it is against the thread questions


(Guest)

Kushan jee,

 

You have not understood the article.It says books can't give you wisdom.

 

Arup jee has undersood the article v.well.

 

You may read it again,to understood the message behind the article.

 


(Guest)

@Meenal 

Yes it  says that books cant give you wisdom but its not true books can give you a right direction and you have to decide whether you have to go in that direction or not  and most importantly you have to implement these wisdom in your life.


(Guest)
Originally posted by :Kushan Vyas
"
Very Good Article Roshni.

 

 I agree with fact that educated families illtreat the daughter/daughter inlaw,follow irrelevant customs...

 

 

so it not only applies to middle calss or poor or iliterate but also in educated family.




And not only AAP Ki Kachehri Programme but also in courts you see the  parties shown in court-room were mainly from lower middle income group..And higher class family dont wate their time to file like Dv act or 498A they prefer Divorce By mutual consent.




Education is necessary but everybody shuld preserve our indian  culture and moral in life .

 

 

thats why you all the difference between the metro girls(educational point of view they are brod minded )

 

compared to rural city.

 

 

And now indian society are changign through technology innovation like mobile,social networking sites, mails,molls,cinemas etc..

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, to know visdom then read good books thats why somebody said books are our best friends and you can read these books on online also.

 
"

Most of the bitter matrimonial litigations originate from women from well off families. Infact a poor woman, who even suffers is not able to afford litigations which can continue for years. Also, women from poor backgrounds, no matter not highly educated still earn their living and litigations cause them more harassment because they can't ignore their workplace either.

 

Apart from this, regarding whether women from highly educated familes are harassed, I can say one thing that instead, a less educated woman from a poor family does not know the sections of law very well so she cannot file false cases with allegations specially exaggerated, keeping the DV Act or 498 A conditions in mind. Due to this, most of the times, the worst exaggerated FIRs and the most bitter legal battlles (exaggerated out of nothing) are not just from very highly educated but also females from very well off families who even have the access to the costliest lawyers.

 

Now Mr. Kushan, no personal comments, but I would like to have your opinion on "whether you as an educated male would harass your wife / brother's wife ?"  . Now I would give my opinion on this that while most of the biased females on this group have seen women being tortured around them, even in my extended family, which is highly educated, I have never seen any woman being harassed. So, infact maybe in the homes  of those biased females, women are harassed, but in my environment, instead there are some highly educated daughter-in-laws harassing their in-laws by filing false cases against them. YEs the field of the females' education also matters here ! but its better that I dont go in detail of this... as we all know most of these exaggerated cases are filed by females from which field of education ;)


(Guest)
Originally posted by :Kushan Vyas
"
@Meenal 

Yes it  says that books cant give you wisdom but its not true books can give you a right direction and you have to decide whether you have to go in that direction or not  and most importantly you have to implement these wisdom in your life.
"

 

 

Yes that's what is also said in article.

 

Books give information & facts,but not the courage and wisdom on how to act in a particular situation.

 

For example:If you read about your rights somewhere,but lack the courage to stand up for yourself,you are as good as uneducated.All depends on your mindset.

On the other hand,if an illiterate or uneducated person is told about her/his rights(as in case of the maid who's talked about in this thread)and he is courageous,then despite no education, he'll be a winner.

 

There are so many propagations in form of banners,pamphlets,etc that say,"Don't cut trees,Say no to dowry,etc"

 

Do you think they have any affect on the EDUCATED PEOPLE who read them?

 

If they did,India would have been transformed immediately after these campaigns,atleast in the households of all these so called educated people.

 


(Guest)

Agreed, still some peopl give dowry to buy grooms and spoil the society by promoting the custom of dowry

zimmerzapper (student)     28 May 2011

education doesn't civilise savages it only equips them with better arguements.

(i think i wrote something like this last night, was it deleted by admin? did anyone see my comment?)
 


(Guest)

This real life case involving an educated family again disproves this old myth that "education changes mindsets "

 

 

Girl child still not welcomed by educated India



SOURCE - https://ibnlive.in.com/news/girl-child-still-not-welcomed-by-educated-india/154818-3.html



New Delhi: India may have two new women Chief Ministers but Indians still seem to be obsessed with the male child. The latest Lancet report reveals shocking statistics of the rich aborting the second girl child. Pamela Vashisht exposes the myth that education can change mindsets - the daughter of a retired colonel, married to an engineer - and mother of two girls - Pamela is today fighting a case against her husband who she says only wants a boy child.

31-year-old Pamela has been living with her parents in Gurgaon for the last nine months because she can't stay with her in-laws any more. Pamela says her engineer husband Sandeep Sharma and his family abandoned her after she delivered a second baby girl, as they only wanted a male heir.

"Even with the first child they were misbehaving but what they did when the second one was born was completely unacceptable. That's why I have decided not to go back," said Pamela Vasisht.

Col O D Vasisht, Pamela's father, said, "That family is completely obsessed with the male child. They never visited her in the hospital. Instead, they sat at my house and cried. Then the mother-in-law told Sandeep, 'Keep on going, The third child will definitely be a boy.' That's when my wife objected and said you can't treat our daughter like a child producing machine."

The retired colonel blames himself for his daughter's situation. He says when the Sharmas asked for dowry, he gave in. When they allegedly misbehaved with his daughter, he asked her to 'adjust'.

"I had agreed to the match because both sons were engineers, from DCE. The father was a PGT teacher in a government school. They were a well-educated family, etc. I fully regret today that I misjudged them. I made a mistake," said Col O D Vasisht.

Pamela says that she tried to reason with her husband Sandeep, but he offered her no support.

"He said that whatever my mother said I have to do," said Pamela Vasisht.

Sandeep and the Sharma family's neighbours say that the family members leave the house every morning only to return late at night in order to avoid the questions by the media.

As Pamela fights for maintenance from her husband to raise her two girls, the question remains - what will it take for urban, educated India to finally embrace the girl child?




IBNLive 5

IBNLive 5
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zimmerzapper (student)     31 May 2011

shocking and sad. i can't understand why these people do these kind of things? in the past because of dowry, etc and other burdens they didn't used to have girl child. but now when girls can earn and have achieved almost equal status, and in the age of love marriages, etc. why they are still practising these kind of things. it's simply "mental sickness"
 


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