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pray (nill)     16 November 2009

suggest me

 

I got married 16 months back, on the third week of my marriage I got to know that she was having an affair with a guy when I asked the same with my wife first she denied later she accepted that she is not a virgin and also told she loves me a lot with out her interest and because of the situations she involved in s*x for about 3 times. Considering  the present generation I accepted on one condition that she should never call him.  On the same night I have discussed this with their parents and siblings.  They were shocked (Pretend to be) and starting convincing me with emotional if I don’t accept her they will commit suicide.  Since I love her I accepted back in my life as days gone their were some miss understanding because of my behavior ( I was not talking to her for every 2 days or three days as I was mentally disturbed) I undergone many stress, depress treatments and finally I have decided to lead a happy life with her.  One day her mother told me if we write any problems or mistakes in paper and submit to god by dropping that letter in any holy river, god will take care of that and we will be happy the same I have told her first she ignored even I did not put pressure as I wont believe in all those.
 
After some days she went to her home town, I was doing prayer in my house their I saw a letter which has some 10 – 11 pages. I got a doubt and read that letter I felt like I am dead. It’s a biggest shock for me in my life she her self requesting god to excuse her about the mistakes which she has done, the mistakes are:
 
  1. She had an oral affair ( just hugs and kisses) for an year when she was in degree with her class mate and stopped the relation
  2. She had a s*x for one time with one person who is already married when she was working and stopped the relation.
  3.  She had an oral affair ( just hugs and kisses) before 3 years of the marriage and relationship was about one and half year.
  4. She had a s*x affair with another person who is younger than her, slept about 14 times with him. She also mentioned that they did not take any precautions for the pregnancy ( As per her she never conceived)
 
I called up and discussed about the letter she first said the letter is false and try to convince me when I argued with her she disconnected the call and complained to their parents that I will harass her daily, forced her to bring the liquor from the bar, I made her to write that letter( by threatening her). From that time their parents warned me, I did not discuss this with my parents or the relatives because I was worrying about the society no body knows about my wife’s character in our family. Taking that as an advantage she purposely torturing me in all the forms, like whispering her boy friends names,  watching the movies of their names,  underlining / highlighting   the name if it appears in the news paper. I asked her why is she doing all these if did not like she could have rejected in beginning on the other hand I become to much attach to her I am in a position neither I can leave her not I can live with out her. I consulted so many doctors, no relief. I told her that I love her so much. I owed money from the banks and did all the poojas, Homas, vastu alteration etc. but nothing worked out finally I came to know that she is not interested in me. I am forced to tell my people; initially they were so supportive now no body is helping me out. 3 months back she left my place after 15 days they pass the message through our relative they are planning file 428a against me if wont give the demanded amount I am shocked again why should I give money when there is no mistake from my end and I am confident that the law will definitely support me, all those dreams vanished because my relatives are also suggested me give her the money and get rid of her because if we go to the court I have to spoil my career and money that too verdict will happen between 1 year to 8 years. Finally my uncle said  what ever it is first let us call them for the discussion. They came to my house. Arguments went on and on finally they concluded that they want 8 lakhs and forced me to sign on the white paper which talks about the discussion and the amount finalized.  I am trying  my level best to give the money at the earliest as I am already having too many loans ( which was taken for the marriage with a tenure of 5 years) neither  I am getting any loans nor I / my family has got a property. Above all these for every 1 week or so they are pressurizing my uncle to repay the money. As I said every body wants to be out from this situation at the earliest they are passing the same pressure on me for the money. No body is bothered about my health I am under depression, not having food properply, not getting the sleep properly staying alone not able to concentrate on the work her memories are disturbing me a lot. Seeing my condition my friend suggested me to do the ART OF LIVING COURSE after that I am 50 % recovered.
 
I kindly request to support me  to get rid of the problem.
 
NOTE:
 
We are living separate from 3 months.
We don’t have children
I don’t have any proof apart from the duplicate copy of the letter which she wrote to god and her last boy friend missed call in her mobile.( Presently mobile is with me)
I am not financially sound.


Learning

 10 Replies

Kamal Grover (Advocate High Court Chandigarh M:09814110005 email:adv.kamal.grover@gmail.com)     16 November 2009

 

 

U dont have to pay anything. Intead file a case for nullity of marriage onthe basis of that letter and other proofs like her boyfriends contact detail etc. I m sure it will work.

To forget her, u have to find any other girl once u will found anyother girl, u will definatelry forget her. Else wait, time is the best medicine, u will urself forgot everything.

Regards

Vikas Dharmendra (Consultant)     16 November 2009

Mr. Kamal Grover is exactly right,, don't pay anything to her..and dont come under pressure,,,, other party(your wife) should worry ,, you don't . Don't be in depresson, you will find another girl,,,, Let apply for Nullification of  the marriage...


(Guest)

Both Grover ji and Vikas ji adviced well. As long as you afraid you can not do anything. First get nullity of marriage decree. Otherwise girl side people may find faults with you if you are with another girl now. What ever proof is with you present to the court.

pray (nill)     16 November 2009

Hi Mr. Grover, Mr Vikas & Mr Prakash

Thank you for your suggestion.  As per my lawyer court will not consider any duplicate copy even it accepts it will take time ( min 3 years depends on the cases).  Is there any chance that my wife can trasffer the case to her native. if Yes? Kindly suggest how to defend it.

Santosh (Sr. Manager)     17 November 2009

Hi, 
I am also victim of false 498 A case so I can understand little bit about your pain.
Here are some suggestions which I follow and it helps me lot.
1)Be a man, nobody is here to help you, its your fight, you need to fight.

2)If you are not wrong and she has affair then don’t worry ask her to meet you in court only.

3)“Don’t ask why me say try me”

4)498 A case means you are not going to jail but off course next 2 Year time is bad for you (emotionally )
5)Contact good criminal lawyer ( 498 A is criminal funny case )

6)Collect maximum paper proofs and tap/rescored your communication on your cell

7)Don’t shut your mouth in society, let everybody know this, no worry initially she will get some emotional sympathy   ,later on society sympathy  will change and shift to your side.

8)Find out good smart girl ( be ready for next ) and get married , again no worry you will get married again,

9)Be  practical, not emotional , your emotion is nothing but her weapon

10)Go and read www.498A.org and do max Google.

11)your smile is nothing but her pain.

12)Believe in god.

With regards,

Kamal Grover (Advocate High Court Chandigarh M:09814110005 email:adv.kamal.grover@gmail.com)     17 November 2009

Mr.Santosh is quite well said that fight and dont afraid. Rest about photocopy, even then it will work, if u will ask nullity on this ground then court will definately ask her for handwriting expert openion and after getting handwriting expert openion, the marriage will be nullify thereafter u dont have to pay even a single panny nor any maintenance and infact u can file a case for cheating and forgery and can get compensation. but it is later stage. about time spam, dont afraid, if she will file any case of 498 etc, then dont worry, u and ur family can get Anticipatory bail and no need to go behind bars then ur lawyer will handle the case. About transfer, u can contest the same on the ground that she will produce false evidence in her city therefore it is necessary to contest the case in the same city and u can also took ur job plea.
Regards and good luck

snchandrasekarabharathi (senior manager (Law))     17 November 2009

Under law you need not pay anything.  How far you aregoing to prove the allegations which you have stated in a court of law depend upon thecircumstantial evidence only.  If you really have faith even now, you can file a petition for restitution of conjugal rights.  If she refuses to come home, then you can file a petition for divorce and then you can re-marry.  This is the only legal solution.  If they threten it is better to lodge a complaint in Women police station.

Kamal Grover (Advocate High Court Chandigarh M:09814110005 email:adv.kamal.grover@gmail.com)     18 November 2009

 

 

But once u file restitution then the ground of illegal relation will be waived off. coz as per law after knowledge u want her back proves that u have forgive her and then u can never take any such plea of illicit relatinship.

Good luck

snchandrasekarabharathi (senior manager (Law))     19 November 2009

if you take illicit intimacy then that itself is a ground for her for mental torture.  You cannot prove her illicit intimacy in a court of law. If you file restitution of conjugal rights, i think, she may not come back to the home since her conscience may not permit.  That is human psychology.  More over she may think even after knowing all her past activities why you call her to marital home.  That will create a confusion and she may refuse to heed your request. Then you will be free and file a petition for divorce.

Kamal Grover (Advocate High Court Chandigarh M:09814110005 email:adv.kamal.grover@gmail.com)     19 November 2009

 

 

Good luck


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