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luckmatters (self)     20 April 2010

What are my options?

 

I am married woman, presently live in USA.

This happened just recently and I am going through lots of emotions and issues at this point of time. Please advise me asap. I had a boy friend who was married with kids and in an affair with me for couple of years. I knew about his relation but accepted him out of love and support he gives to me. During that period I consented couple of times, though reluctantly, to take nude pics and videos of mine in privacy. He took that with his camera and saved for himself. After lots of issues and fightings we broke up and I got married to some one else and kind of settled down in my life. I basically belong to a community in India where chastity is given preference on top of any thing. My husband never knew about my previous intimate relationship until now. Just recently my parents called me from India and told me that, couple of families who are distantly related to us and in-laws in India received my nude pictures and videos via mail which were taken by my ex. They watched it briefly and angrily confronted with my parents about it and want to bring this to the notice of in-laws. If that happens my current marriage will end instantly no matter what. Now I am so angry about my ex and so anxious about my future at the same time. I would like to ask what are my legal options in my scenario?

 

1) pics and videos were taken in USA but they were mailed to India. Does any legal ground exists to prosecute in India? He lives in USA.

2) How do I take my ex to the court in the above case? I knew that these pics and videos were taken by him but when they were sent/mailed to India, there is no senders address provided. Except that there is a proof that, those were mailed out of USA. 

3) I need to act on this case all alone as I can't afford to let my husband know about this issue. We live together so need to find out the way to pursue this case without his knowledge. Is there any way I can give power to some one else to proceed on this case on my behalf and keep my name secret?

 

I want to put that guy in the jail for what he has done. Please give me your valuable suggestions. 

 

I appreciate your help in advance.



Learning

 17 Replies

MOHANA SUNDARAM (Advocate High court Madras. M-9840908555)     20 April 2010

he can be prosecuted in india as the mail was received in india but i think it is highly impossible to conceal this matter from  your husband.

 

those who receivd such obsene mail can file complaint in india and normally cyber crime police deal with  the matter confidentially, if request so.

 

but my personal opinion is keeping this person in jail wouldnot solve this matter.

 

better try someother solutions.

1 Like

luckmatters (self)     20 April 2010

Thanks for your reply. I have one question though. You mentioned that since the mail was received in India, case can be filed with cyber crime police against that guy. But how can the person be held responsible for the mails as the sender's address was not given? Can the police act upon our complaint and investigate the case? Can they coordinate with USA police to bring him into the case based on the few solid details they have available?

luckmatters (self)     20 April 2010

In addition to my above post, how long would be the jail term in india if the person is convicted based on this case? I know, keeping him in the jail would not be answer for this issue, and also there are many limitations to openly come out against him, even if I come out, there are many options available for him to come out clean on this. But what I am trying to get on this is, if it can be showed to him that, if he does the same in the future, at least I want to show him enough case against him to implicate him and let him understand the implications of his mischief in the future. 

I understand that concealing the matter with my husband is not that easy but I am confident about managing him as long as I can find good points to make this guy understand his deeds to me.

Nainital (confidential)     20 April 2010

 

I found this case very interesting to me. The way advocates are responding here made me to think, anything is possible in our India. Whether there does any substance exists in the case or not, anybody can sue any one for any reason without any proof. Is my understanding correct? Mrs.Luckmatters has specified clearly in her response that, the mail that was sent out to her relatives did not have any senders address on it. On what ground you would assume that it was him who has sent this mail? How can court assume him as an accused and summon him to the court? Only basis to implicate him in this case is 1) Mrs.Luckmatters assumes that it was he (because it was he who took her pictures/videos in nude!!!!!) 2) it was mailed out from USA. Even to an ordinary person like me these two points are appearing as laughable excuses to implicate any body. If these two points are enough to file a case against a person, does it mean that, every time any mail sent to any body any where in the world with regard to Mrs.Luckmatters, there will be a case to prosecute him no matter what? 

 

I am really curious how the law is applied here? and on what ground that person can be summoned to be appeared in Indian courts when he is living in USA? If the case is proved wrong or proved to be false pretext, what would be his options to counter file against Mrs.Luckmatters? Can anybody accuse anybody on falste pretext? Here I am not trying to defend that 'gentleman' but was curious to learn what was the basis for you advocates giving advice to Mrs.Luckmatters. In his response Mr.Prabhakar has assumed that, standing before the court as an accused for every two months is itself utmost insult for a person of normal breed, lets say your assumption is correct, what would be discussed in the court of law during the proceedings? Doesn't it leads to the discussion or to prove how that person has possesses such videos and what was the relation between that person and Mrs.Luckmatters and whether they were s*xually involved before her marriage or not and whether the videos are real or fake, wouldn't such things come into the discussion in the court to much discomfort of the Mrs.Luckmatters? In such scenario who would face more insult? defendant or accused? When defendant is not even ready to come forward openly or not ready to explain what happened to her past to her husband, how can the defendant openly fight with the accused? Doesn't accused has more protection in the above likely scenario than to Mrs.Luckmatters even if we assume that his crime can be proved in the court of law?

luckmatters (self)     21 April 2010

 

"Only basis to implicate him in this case is 1) Mrs.Luckmatters assumes that it was he (because it was he who took her pictures/videos in nude!!!!!) "

Mr.Nainital, I have no idea why you are so against me, but all that I can request you is, please be decent. Do not be judgemental on what you have very little idea.

Chetan (Advocate)     21 April 2010

Mam I suggest that not to take more interest because if u personally takes any interest in those photos which are received by other members it amount that U HAD ADMITTED THAT THESE ARE YOUR PHOTO'''

 

I suggest that who ever asked u about it even u r hisband just strongly opposed and told that its a style of technology .....

But the revenge which u wants to take about ex ...then whenevr u get an opportunity it will be definately takes...

Nainital (confidential)     21 April 2010

 

Sir Prabhakar,

 

You unnecessarily took the discussion into rivalry between you and me and made it some patriotic issue rather than addressing the questions in the lines of my observations on this case. The way you have answered is as if your ego was bruised badly because I have questioned your answer. Please understand that there is nothing personal about it. 

 

Basic issue here is Mrs.Luckmatters wants to hide behind the bushes and shoot Mr.Gentleman with a gun called Law. You are completely ignoring that fact instead you are talking about law will do this law will do that etc. In your latest reply as well you did the same mistake. You said 'In this case, there will not be any doubt about the culpability of  Mr. "gentleman" because the victim herself is an eye witness of the offence and receipients of the offence object are near and dear relatives of the victim.  Hence, Sherlock Homes' presence is not required to find out who is the "wrong doer".' Lets put sarcastic remarks aside. If the victim herself is an eye witness, you would need her to acknowledge in the court of law that, she was aware of such nude videos and pictures being taken by Mr.Gentleman. Would she be able to do that? No. Thats the whole point here, which you are missing completely. She wants to hide behind the bushes!!!. So what would be her case to prove him culprit when she can not even claim that video of being her nude was taken by Mr.Gentleman in front of her and she was an eye witness? Lets assume that, she is the only person in that pictures or videos. Probably she can claim that those were taken by her husband but some one else has stolen it and sent to her relatives. In such case, court will ask her husband to provide witness account. Can she afford to let her husband watch her nude video taken by some one else? NO. And then arises the second question, how did she know that it is only Mr.Gentleman who has sent those videos to her relatives when the video was claimed to be taken by her husband. That will be proved as false pretext within no time. 

 

In another scenario, lets assume that, she will come forward and discloses to her husband and relatives and court that, she had consented Mr.Gentleman to take her video and pictures but he inappropriately misused her videos by sending videos to her relatives and defamed her in front of her own people hence she would like to prosecute him for his criminal intent. In such case, yes there is some ground to prove him guilty but still not to the extent the way you tried to put it in your reply. It is still very difficult to prove whether it was really sent my him or it was some one else's handiwork. Everyday there are hundreds and thousands pictures and videos are stolen from people computers and ending up on internet. How many cases were filed and how many were traced and how many were proved guilty? But even if this case stands for trial (assuming that she acknowledges her relation with Mr.Gentleman) what she would pay in her life, what she would lose in her would be much more than what she will gain in entire episode. Do you agree?

 

I guess, what  Mrs.Luckmatters is trying to get or explore from this forum is that what are the possibilities to indict this person without her active participation in the case. She do not like to acknowledge her relation with that person, neither she would like to let her husband know about the relation for obvious reasons. Instead of addressing the question from right perspective, you are jumping in to conclusions that 'culprit' can be brought in to justice jingoism. 

 

My 2 cents.

Nainital (confidential)     21 April 2010

Originally posted by :luckmatters
"
 

"Only basis to implicate him in this case is 1) Mrs.Luckmatters assumes that it was he (because it was he who took her pictures/videos in nude!!!!!) "

Mr.Nainital, I have no idea why you are so against me, but all that I can request you is, please be decent. Do not be judgemental on what you have very little idea.
"

Huh. Sorry I missed your this post. My apologies if you have felt bad about that sentence. But your whole question does revolve around that basic point so without mentioning that fact, any post can not be complete. Fact is that, I am not trying to offend you here. I am trying to help you out with posing more questions on your behalf to get the best possible option for you.

luckmatters (self)     21 April 2010

I think I was misunderstood on the mail part so would like to clarify. It was not sent through email but postal mail which has DVD in the package. This type of package were sent out to couple of relatives. But we are not sure yet how many else have received it. Package has only To address. Doesn't have sender's address. There is USA postal stamp to prove where it was mailed out from but nothing else. Would that fall under Cyber laws? 

Hemant Agarwal (ha21@rediffmail.com Mumbai : 9820174108)     22 April 2010

CONSIDER THIS FROM another angle, from the defence side :

 

1.  OBVIOUSLY, Only the Husband can have names and addresses of all the relatiives & in-laws, to whom the DVD's were sent by postal service from USA.

 

2.  There is no way  "Ms. LuckMatters",  can say that during her exotic-debut (I'm not saying erotic-debut) and further "recalls" with her boy-friend, FOR 2 YEARS,   the printed list of names & address of relatives could have been given to  "boy-friend", by the lady.   FURTHER  the boy-friend in no circumstances would have the names & address of the lady's  "In-Laws",  when lady says that she broke-up after a fight and MARRIED   "AFTER"    the break-up.   AND THEN WENT &  SETTLED IN USA.

 

QUESTION:  WHO GAVE THE LIST OF NAMES & ADDRESS OF THE  "IN-LAWS"  (i.e. Husbands relations)  TO THE EX-BOY-FRIEND.  Sort of Next to impossible.


 

3.  The  Lady's Husband stays in USA.  The DVD's were sent from USA via postal.    So in reality,  the pictures (DVD's)  were actually sent to the lady's relatives in India BY HER HUSBAND, since only he would know the names and address of the lady's relatives and his own relatives (in-laws of the lady).

 

Maybe the Lady's husband got a inkling about his wife's exotic-debuts & 2 years of recalls  AND IS NOW LOOKING TO  QUIETLY "TRUNCATE"  THE LADY, out of his life, without having to pay anything to the lady  (AND maybe with the active cooperation of her ex-boyfriend).  The Husband might be looking for  "justifications"  to get rid of the Lady,  from family customary &  family values angle.


 

4.  IF nude pictures were recorded on DVD's,  OBVIOUSLY it implies that the exotic-relations, WHICH  "SURPRISINGLY"  LASTED FOR 2 LONG YEARS,   the exotic scenes were recorded with FULL CONSENT of the lady.

 

PRESUMED TIT - For - TAT :  Get the copies of the DVD's from relatives  and anonymously post the DVD's to the ex-boyfriends wife and children and ALL relatives.  THIS IS POSSIBLE IF THE LADY HAS THE NAME AND ADDRESS OF THE RELATIVES.  Which is a rare possibility, since the lady does not have the name & address of the ex-boy-friend's relatives & his in-laws.

 

Similarly, the EX-boy-friend having the list of names & address of the Lady's relatives and Husband's relatives (in-laws),  ALSO IS A RARE TO RARE POSSIBILITY.

 

NOW THE LEGAL POINT :
5.  There is no way the ex-boy-friend can be prosecuted under any Cyber-Laws,  or for that matter under any Indian Laws,  even for adultery, rape or anything.    The alleged exotic-debuts and DVD photo etc... happened in USA and not in India.  Adultery with consent is the accepted norm in USA  and maybe not in India.
There are many legal loop-holes in the Lady's story.    DVD's sent by USA postal services !!!.  Cyber-Laws pertain to Acts done via electronic media.   DVD does not qualify under Cyber Law.


BUT definetly a very very good scriptt for a Hindi movie.

 

QUOTE :  If you have something to hide, THEN it is better not to expose others.

 

Another Quote :  If you stay in a Glass House,  THEN better not to throw stones at others houses.

 

Yet another Quote :  Frustrated Cat, claws at the wooden post.

 

Keep Smiling .... Hemant Agarwal

luckmatters (self)     22 April 2010

Originally posted by :Hemant Agarwal
"

Keep Smiling .... Hemant Agarwal
"

 

Sir,

enough of your rantings. could you also provide arguments or points for me?

Nainital (confidential)     22 April 2010

 

Originally posted by :Prabhakar
"
In law, hypothetical assumptions in the place of facts are not allowed.  You go on assuming one fact and on that weave a web of assumptions and try to draw a legal conclusion, but that is not permissible and Indian judges do not do that and won't allow any one to do that.  The facts have to be proved in the method prescribed by law and in the case of Luckmatters, the facts can be proved in accordance with law without much difficulty.  It is not as difficult task as  projected by other contributories of the post. 

Barbaric comments are norm in s*xual offence cases. And the only and shameful method, the defence advocate always applies is to throw mud on the character of the prosecutrix / complainant for coming to court and seeking the justice.  We have seen and will see in the open courts that a rape victim is humiliated in hundred and thousand ways by putting such relentless and shameful questions by the defence advocate in the name of protecting the accused.  Hemant Aggarwal is no exception.  We see them in hundreds in the courts every day defending the accused, but we will not be cowed down by them or by their slanders.
"

Sir, Sir, Sir, Sir enough of blah blah blah.

You have big comprehension problem. Please get that right first. Where is the case when Mrs.Luckmatters herself is not ready to accept in the court that the pictures were taken by Mr.Gentleman? How do you build the case? by ranting blah blah blah? Who is talking about hypothetical scenarios here? You repeatedly saying the same thing again and again in different words ' The facts have to be proved in the method prescribed by law and in the case of Luckmatters, the facts can be proved in accordance with law without much difficulty.' . What is the fact here? There are two parts in the fact theory here. 1. Mrs.Luckmatters has consented Mr.Gentleman to take her nude videos and pictures 2. Mr.Gentleman has used those objects to defame Mrs.Luckmatters in front of her family. Now tell me, if Mrs.Luckmatters do not want to accept or do not want to stand by the fact no. 1 in the court, where does fact no.2 stands? Let me put my point very clear here. It is not a hypothetical scenario. That is what Mrs.Luckmatters has mentioned in here first post. She wants to hide behind the bushes and shoot Mr.Gentleman with the gun callled court of law!!!! if she wants to hide she can not prove him guilty. If she wants to come out then she 'may' prove him guilty, but she will certainly be losing her relation with her husband and family. So Mr.Gentleman, whether he is real culprit or not, is more than safe in either case.  

Anyway I am out of this topic. I tried to help out Mrs.Luckmatters by arguing the case against her so that she gets better solution but unfortunately most of the times it is resulting only in the rantings here without any substance. Just like kid and cow essay story. :D

luckmatters (self)     24 April 2010

I came here hoping some help. I am extremely sorry that because of me, couple of members have been ended up fighting each other. I am not sure if that is what meant by Mr.Nainital but his remarks are bit off the track, outrageous and inhuman, his observation on overall issue makes sense. My basic limitation is, I can not come out openly but I want to stop this person doing further damage to my status and to my family and create problems in my relation with my husband. I want some help from the court to frighten this guy from doing any thing in the future. Please help me!!! Please!!!


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