nav 28 March 2015

Wife abuses and threathens to do something drastic.

I have been married for 3 yrs now and both me and my wife are educated working professionals, we have a 3 month old son.Since the marriage my wife has not been able to adjust to the family culture where she has to take care of the family and also work. While this was agreed upon before marriage, where i had clearly called out to her that i will not leave my family and that we will be living with them.

She has been acting out and has been very disrespectful towards me and my parents and after numerous discussions and possible attempts to talk to her and understand and change my life around for her benefit things have not improved. I had even reached out to her parents and sisters , where i had taken her to her sisters place and we had talked, where her parents and family listened to both sides of the story and i was told that she will now get better and not raise her voice and act in a mature manner.

Off late things have been very bad, she is irritable and has been constantly talking down to me for no apparent reason and this recently led to a verbal argument, where after i asked her if she wants to calmly talk about the problem responded by saying she wont and when i said then i need to talk to your parents she threatened by saying that either she will leave the house without anyone knowing or do something crazy and bad.

Please advise me what can i do from a legal standpoint to protect myself in case she does something crazy or files for divorce (eventually). Would it make sense to lodge a FIR with the police to safeguard me and my family? as the laws are in favor of women and i feel that in her state of mind she might use that to her advantage.

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4 Replies

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate) 28 March 2015

Instead of thinking to protect yourself, engage a good cook and maid for full time and give your wife a breathing space to do her job and come back home and take rest. The working woman should not be asked to break her back to do domestic chores after coming back from her job.

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saravanan s (legal advisor) 28 March 2015

you can make an nc in the police station and keep a copy of it with you so if some case is filed on you by your wife then the nc will help you.if she eventually files divorce then she is bound to prove her allegations over you for the burden of proof lies on her.

Born Fighter (xxx) 28 March 2015

Your wife is not comfortable living with your parents and that's the reason she is threatening you and asking you (though not disclosing her real intentions ) to not escalate the matters to her parents, as she very well knows she is at fault for backstabbing you by going back on her promise to stay with your parents (guilt ........but does not want to admit due to bloated ego).

Let me ask you- has she given you threats to commit suicide ? or put you and your parents behind bars ?????

Your wife is taking advantage of her own wrong and giving you warnings to move out of your current house leaving your parents , looking at her temper tantrums i will not be surprized if she escalates the matter and files a police compliant against you and ur parents under DV/498a (cruelty) . She will then use this as a weapon to threaten you to follow her demands and surrender to her ....

You better write a letter (seeking help ) to your in-laws mentioning the threats of your wife and counselling that has been done to make her cohabit peacefully. Mention that you want to save your marriage and would request your in-laws intervention to fix the problems as you fear she will harm herself due to her extreme behavior/rage. This letter can be submitted to the local police station mentioning the threats given by your wife, as suggested by Adv Saravanan.

Go on a holiday with your wife and ask her what can be done to fix the problems ......don't give your views/blame her. Also think if you can arrange for an alternate accomodation nearby your parents house which will arrest the root cause of the problem...............think about it !!

All the Best !

Rajendiran (Business) 28 March 2015

If you see her as your wife your expectations are fair enough , But how long and how far is the question . You both can deal the matter yourself .

Go for counselling , get some maid , after birth , its hard to manage baby , household and elderly people .

Hope your parents are also supportive to her ....

By law : yes whatever you described seems to be cruel .

You getting scared/ worried is absolutely fine , but don't press the panic button every time you come across a cockroach .

from legal stand point , your wife has all the advantage over you . Incase your inlaws , their relatives are in very good relationship with you . You must never think anything in legal viewpoint .

You should keep your parents away from all these husband wife problems .....

you can register your concern in police station ... Think of, your wife can also do the same thing ... every time you ask her to cook she can reach out to police.

You will end up writing statement after statement to some police officer . Creating evidence for your wife incase you really get in to 498a ..

So for whatever reason ,.. dont trigger anything from your end , unless you see your wife is a pyscho , cheat or your inlaws are harassing you unnecessarily leaving restless ....