Domestic violence against men

A lot has been said and done about violence against women at the hands of their in-laws and society, however, men are also victims of intense domestic violence! But sadly, the same men fail to acknowledge the need to do something about this...

ASSUMPTIONS AND hidden agendas wherever involved in the foundation and design of any society can lead to serious problems over the years. Being deemed as the protector, the provider and the adventurer, men themselves made the world believe that they cannot suffer. It is not hard to notice, parents telling their son to be like a man, stop crying and learn to do things your own way. Well, in a way that is good, as it teaches the man to be self-dependent since he has to protect and provide when he grows up. But the imbibitions of this line of thought are so engraved and deep rooted that the man as he grows up almost starts feeling sorry for feeling bad, abused, harassed, tortured. He starts feeling as though he has no right to do so. But that is not a healthy sign. Even psychologists and relationship experts have voiced out their concerns over this behavioral traits of men and have enchanted it umpteen number of times that it is fine to feel bad and share the same and accept that something is bothering them. But sadly enough of it falls on deaf ears due to age-old stereotypes, which are rock-engraved, take centuries of time and loads of sufferings, realisations and metamorphosis to take a new and desired form.

It is not uncommon to see that when a man tries to discuss his problems pertaining to a relationship, he is cornered saying either, “You are a man, stop cribbing like a woman,” or, “She is a woman, it will be like this only.” Such responses have led to the establishment of euphoria in the societal as well as the legislative and the executive ambiance that men do not need anything, they have everything. This was also recently upheld in a judgment by the honorable Delhi High Court, hearing a petition challenging the tenacity of the Domestic Violence Act 2005, citing it as Ultra Vires of Article 14 of the Constitution of India. The petition was dismissed saying the argument held no merit as the court was of the view, “Though men are victims of violence, such incidences are few and far between, thus ruling out the possibility of protection for men from the parliament.” This statement, sadly enough reflects a very bad taste of mind, which though acknowledges the existence of domestic violence against men, but refuses to accept it for the very lack of proper data to substantiate a lesser known claim.

If the data provided by the National Crime Records Bureau is anything to go by, the number of suicides committed by men in the year 2005 and 2006 stands at a staggering figure of 1,50,000, as compared to 50,000 women. Does this not reflect the sorry state of affairs, Indian men are currently in. Of these 1,50,000, 1,08,000 have been suicides by husbands, which is fairly explainable enough as well, as the government that earns 82 per cent of taxes from these men has washed off its hands from this alarming trend, these men have no protection, voice or say. Men are not only victims of domestic violence, they are victims of misuse of these laws as well. 99 per cent of the cases of domestic violence and dowry harassment filed against men and their families are false and filed with a motive to extort money and unfortunately, the horse-trading goes on in the Temple of Justice and is passed off as women liberation and empowerment of the weaker sex. All men around the harassed husband try to brainwash and console the man saying the girl needs money, protection, etc. What these men fail to understand here is that there has been a serious role reversal of the perpetrator of violence and the victim of violence, wherein the victim, being hailed as the criminal, is forced to compensate the tormentor, being hailed as the victim. Also these men feel great they are protecting a woman, which is good enough, for if the man is meant to protect, he should protect and feel good about it, but nowhere does it stand justified to protect at the cost of another man. But sadly enough, this trend is catching on slowly.

It looks highly delirious for a man to exist in a society suffering from double standards where one judgment speaks of the inability of the ambit of the Domestic Violence Act 2005 to cover men as victims and other one says that incidences of domestic violence being far and few between, men should not expect protection from the parliament. It is not hard to see the repercussions of such differentiated similarities amongst men, who are now not even refraining from taking the law into their hands by either committing suicide or murder, what with having exasperated with the apathy meted out by the administrators of their own brethren. Once again this question is put forward to the civil society and the government: Are they ready to accept this trend, wherein cornered men think of snuffing life as the only final solution or do they have the guts and willingness to change the courses of the tides and the winds? I hope some spineless men start developing spines after reading these lines.