Today, I questioned myself whether I am living or just surviving and the purpose of it, which led me dig the roots.
The only thing that popped-up in my mind is to approach someone who could advice me the pathway.
Let me give you the glimpse of the background and what am I scouting for. This may sound quite simply complicated.
My mother is 63 years old and my father around 53 years. (I am not mistaken about the numbers. Yeah its true)
My mom got married in her early 20's and has got three children, whose father (not mine) was deceased 26 years back.
My dad married my sweet mother (in a temple just for the sake of it, but has no legal proofs.) in 1989 and I was born in the year of 1990. The very unfortunate factor is he has had an affair with some other lady - with whom he got married and gave a birth to a baby girl, who is 1 year already elder than me.
Speaking on financial terms, no one from my father's side or mother's side has got good back up, neither properties. I could say everyone is almost crestfallen but fair enough to live the life by doing chaotic jobs.
My mother is entitled to receive family pension as a result of the death of her first husband who served as a Government Engineer. She relies on these bucks because it truly helps her, her children (My 2 cousin brothers and 1 sister - with which I have a affectionate relationship). I am lucky to have them because of the due fact that they treated me as their own brother.
A decade back ago , my mother left everything behind for my father to stay with. But he never stayed with us as a family. I don't understand and didn't even know what the effing problem with him. He loves my mother a lot but he stays with the other family 24 x 7 x 365. I am not introduced to any member of his family, as in his mother/brother, as of yet. Literally no one.
I had met with an accident and no one turned up since they were so petrified that they (my mom and my dad) would likely reveal themselves and that might lead an quarrels. It was the day I died.
He just supports around 4000 to 8000 (max) rupees per month upon sever request and doesn't even feel responsible towards me or my mom. I was kept at home for 3 years, because he couldn't afford my education.
After few struggles, I did my graduation by my own. I am still lacking something that makes me stagnate.
I am a passionate about business, pursuing a masters program and crave a better life. But I am stuck in the duality.
If really someone (you) reads with this, please shed me some light how do I move forward with this filthy kind of situations, circumstanced with the mischievous factors.
My mom is so sweet she never tried a gut to fight against my father. I wasn't loved by my father. Yet my mother played a significant role by being mother, father, mentor and a best friend.
I am so pissed off everything, frustrated, vexed and mentally sick. I don't want this to sicken me anymore.
Is there any apt authority where I can bring this to their attention for a solution. Or Should I file a case against my father? Will that affect on my mother's official pension funds (here, as a widow).
As a fact of matter, I am feeling so suicidal but I won't dare to do that as I have immense confidence that someday somewhere someway I will going to achieve, do something unconventional.
Kindly feel free to ask me any more details.
Please advice.
