2nd marriage clarification

Married man have relationship with another woman with the acceptance of wife is o.k. But he cannot marriage another woman without divorce to the first woman. If he marry another woman it becomes bigomy under hindu law. Bigomy not acceptable under hindu law. 

any legal action i can take on kavita and her family like FIR or legal notice to them ? Basically i dont wish to do so but afterall keeping such relations is not atall good for her practically.She is thinking and doing emotionally everythings.

please help me.

Arey!!!!! you are an utter fool and still thinking of options to accomodate kavitha, who seems to be shameless. You must be strong enough to counter this problem. If you are listening to your husband he will ruin you both emotionally and financially. It's time for you to exercsise your right as a wife. You husband is playing with your emotions. You have a right to push kavitha out of your house and book a case on your husband and kavitha as well for torturing you mentally and for criminal breach of trust and that both of them are trying to kill you so that they want to get married. SInce the affidavit says that as long as you are alive they will not get married. So their next course of action is to kill you and prove your death as natural death so that they can get rid of you.

So Madamji and rather aadarsh patniji please come out of your emotional turmoil and safeguard your interest and reframe your life. If you are not staong at this stage of your life everyday will be a hell untill you die. Please approach a very good women lawyer whom you now through your reliable relative or friend and please try to save your life from kavitha who is no less than shani to your life. Now its upto you to decide whether you want hell or make your life in a right way.

Men will be Men, you have to fight for your right. Untill you fight nobody will help you or nobody will come to you rescue. Madamji, if you really love your husband and if you want to save your marriage first make it an open issue otherwise your husband and kavitha will close your chapter. God only knows what will happen to you? If you are not taking a dare-step at this stage you will have to face hell in future.

If you are scared first shift your house and dont allow that lady to enter your house. Leave her things at the present house and threaten her that if she is following you, you shall file a case for trespsss into house. Simultaneously you file an FIR stating all the facts and file for 498A for the kind of emotional torture you are undergoing. If you are delaying even a single day, it will become negative for you only.

Please Act immediately, to save your marriage. You are left with no time to think anymore.

Thanks Usha, I am also thinking what you advised.But here probelms is that even after shifting my house my husband is visiting and staying with her frequently to other rented house,where she is staying but everytime he informed me whenever he stays with her. They knew my appositions in their illicit relations.Even they know i can file divorce but they are blaming that i am responsible as she took care of my husband and house work because i am a working lady.

I am searching a good lady lawyer in bangalore for divorce and advice but not able to get good asap.

But true fact is that whatever i do now i will suffer only.Once relation is destroyed it takes years to forget.

So after lot of thoughts, i decided to get divorce or stay separate from them.I am in  the process of adopting a child and may be i after few years i may go for 2nd marriage.This was suggest i am getting from my familly and experience women. What is your suggestion here ? should i follow my relative advice as i am 34 year old women ?

But Surely i will take help of law to fight case against them but if i win also my husband will be in jail for few years and that lady maynot get any punishment.

Yes, lady wont go to jail at all for this act.

Even its next to impossible to send the husband to jail if u start legal battle. Courts are rotting away with all hues of cases & the husband wil pay lawyers to handle the cases+ appeaals upto SC

First and foremost arrange to give a legal notice to your husband to eliminate another woman interefere in your family

Hello Ms. Bharathi,

Life is not at all filmy, to adopt a child and take divorce from your husband and then again go for another marriage after a couple of years. Please be practical. Adopting a child is not a joke. It means you are taking 100% responsibility of a person. Why should you take all that unecessary steps, when it is not required. WHom do you want to prove your chastity. You are trying to narrow-down your life by adoting a baby, which is not at all required.

Lead your life on your own terms. Women is never weaker section, we ourself narrow down our domain and therby giving scope to men to do their whims and fancies. So please wake up bharathi and fight for your husband at any cost.

You fight for your husband and save your marriage. Relatives and friends will just say the probabilities within the available circumstances. I am telling you first file a 498 case against your husband, leave about that lady she will take her way and be away from your husband once your husband learns lesson from police. You may be working but see that he is removed from his service or a private job for cheating you and file for permanent alimony for ruining your life due to that lady.

Ok you quit your job and stay back at home and do everything for him, whatever he wants and see that he takes care of your financial needs. DOing job is only to extend helping hand to your husband. Otherwise it is his duty to take care of you and see that all your needs are met. If you have any extra-marital affair, then you may give-up your husband. But if you are sincere and want your husband back, you will definetely succeed. God will support in your sncere efforts. But dont give-up your marial status, you will be left no where due to that lady. Your focus should be on your husband and how to bring him back to your house. Dont think about that lady and you will get disturbed further. I tell you you will definetely succeed in this if you try sincerely and through a good lawyer.

Relations will not get disturbed. A person who doesnt have any ethics, whatelse do you expect from him. Already there is nothing left in you relation. If you are taking legal acion then your life have some purpose, and your husband will also be yours forever. But please try in all the ways for God Sake!!

Dont worry for the legal expenditure please spend reasonably but this your life and you have no other way apart from taking legal action. Rest is your wish. This would be my last message to you. Men will change according to the situations. So, even if you take legal action and once everything is settled, they will act as if nothing has happened to them and they can be asthey were, because that is their very nature.

being legally married and that too court and certificate marriage is the biggest weapon in your hand and use it to make-up and rebuild your marriage. This is the testing period for you. You should never accept for divorce, if you are doing that you are giving-up the biggest weapon in your hand and ready to make yourself helpless. Life is not about emotions. It is all about rights, duties and responsibilities and if you give up your right nobody can help you. You fight for your right everybody will help you. With so much of laws for safeguarding women, you still talk like this??? this is not at all acceptable. You must fight for your right!!!!, howmuch ever difficult it is. You must file under 498 and for restitution of conjugal rights, criminal breach of trust, domestic violence and bigamy. If he is not allowing you to stay at peace you also see that he will not succeed in his illegal and unethical motives and play with the existing marriage.

Once again I repeat Please fight for your rights and you will be successful.

Thank you Usha for your moral support and advice.It is irrespective what i will do and whom i have to follow in my future but one thing is that i have decided to fight back  for my marriage.It is well said by you that men will change accroding to their wish and situation . I can see and realise it emotionally and practically.

Dear Ms. Bharti

I am NOT a lawyer

I am just giving some very practical advise here ... up to you to take it or not. 

It is Sad to hear such cases

I think IF you pressurise your hubby too much he will fall for suspected sister / suspected "sOthan" even more  ? so you have to tread on this carefully 

Thanks to all the womens liberation, feminism and gender benders in India, women are VERY strong legally ; as far as I know  there are some 84 laws that support women .... ; But alas your suspect / suspected sister / suspected "sOthan" is also a woman and you should remember that 

When a woman files case against man [ especially husband], the whole society supports the y00ung woman, curses the man and his mother.

But alas if this is a case of one young woman against another young woman (your sister / "sOthan" ...., and I think all the bleeding heart liberals will be very confused on which y00ung woman to support  ? 

Some one here has advised you to file a FALSE IPC sec 498a case; So , let us Take the case of FALSE 498a (as advised by some one else) ; IF you file FALSE 498a against some, that can only be against your husband or relative of husband; then how will you proove that sothan is his relative (husband's relative) ? I think "sOthan" is smart; that is why she is NOT married, but havinh some flings  ?

Even IF you file a FALSE 498a IF the police arrest him (husband) and put him behind bars, it will be just you and soon to be "sOthan" in the same house and looks like soon to be "sOthan" is younger than you are and cry as much as you can, and will get all the sympathy ?? 

A lot of thought is needed BEFORE you embark on your action 

already it must be public knowledge that you three are *together* .... so what defamation / social ostracisation can you do ??what more ?? 

think well 

I think IF you pressurise your hubby too much he will fall for soon to be "sOthan" even more   ..so think .....

anyhow up to you

Actually such cases have to be taken up with the National commission of women because it affects two women and only one man 

regards

Vinayak

Mrs Bharathi,

Ya, I know 498A is for dowry harrassment. In most of the Dowry cases, people will not directly say that you didnt bring dowry so I am doing this for you. But as i understood from the brief descripttion, you seem to be a middle classs and working lady. In your case also your husband took you for granted that nobody from her side is strong enough to question hm. Strong in the sense financially!!! and they will not question him for his wrong deeds, may due to his position as a son-in-law. They are bound to respect your husband but due to which your parents or people dont want to counter the bitter-fact that he is playing with our life. They are also thinking like you "what will happen if they talk harsh or take a legal action?" he may become more stubborn. But that is not the fact. Just Imagine, if your peope are rich and financially sound enough and gave one crore of rupees and still have an intention to give a bunglaw, car, some more cash, would he dare to do this to you????? It is all about taking things for granted from your side. Basicaaly he assessed you and your people to be fools and will keep watching whatever he does and nobody have the guts or capacity to question. But you have to show him how strong and determined about your stand about the marriage and how serious you are about his illegal relation.

We have to fight for our rights! Not respecting wife' s feelings and torturing wife emotionally by having association or having post-marial affair with another lady even after legally getting married is a big torture than any kind of physical assault!! it hurts more than physical injury and very difficult to cope-up. So please, your matter also comes under he same section. So please approach a renowned lawyer or National commission for women or Women protection cell or Police Station. Nothing will happen to your beloved pathi dev!!!!  he will be fine but he needs to learn his lesson in a harder way as he is taking you and your people for granted.

Withdrawing the matter is at your discretion, at any stage. So once you feel that he is completely yours and not willing to entertain that lady then you can always withdraw the matter. But exercise your right as a wife and show the unshakeable power of Women. Be Strong and bold, rest of the life will be happy forever. You need to be strong and bold at this stage. Duty to give emotional support to your parents is also cast upon you. Becasuse marrying that hopeless fellow is your decision, for which you are suffering every moment of your life but you made your parents also worry for you. So Please take care of yourself and your parents. Together with your parents fight for your right as wife and build your marital life. Never give up yout hope even for a moment for God Sake!!!! If hope dies One becomes totally disabled.

I think what this guy has done is terrible

I think you should completely expose him

At least send this chap's location and name / features to some trusted people here who can help you tract this guy and find out his activities

Then [once you have proof] probably you can tell this lady that you will go to police

Hope this helps 

regards

vinayak