498a

settle the matter amicably and ask for mediation

hello,

U can send ur lawyer to attend the date.

1. This approach is wrong even for the sake of children.
2. If you say you donot want him to be punished then why misuse such criminal laws first of all even if you were un-educated and under some drugs influence someone forced you to file these Complaints in past?
3. If you say to us that children love their father then proceed on MCD route without wasting time of Courts and give full “visitation” without any terms and conditions attached to father. I don’t see such a big deal here if ‘children’ are now being made pawn of your so called justification.
4. It is stupid of a married woman to say as after thought “hey I love my husband and even if he sleeps with XYZ I donot mind now, I mean does it takes a Criminal case to file to realize it, ideally you should have not filed them and not have complaint of his mistress etc.!”
5. What fruits you got in DV; may be RTR + Maintenance + may be custody of children + some compensation amount. But does these PO justify him to continue relationship with a mistress all in name that children are attached to him !  

I mean what are these nonsense in reference to DV and S. 498a IPC we hear now-a-days from a complainant in public forum yet Judiciary and Legislature still say metro wife is abala?

Ideally (remedy) you should tomorrow or on any Court working day request concerned Court for direction to send parties for mediation and there workup on quash on these cases and split with him via mutual consent route (alimony and visitation mutualy decided) grant un-conditional visitation (pick-up/drop from your door to door). By granting un-conditional visitation child may not know stupidities of adult parents till they grow up and side by side people like you donot give chance to encourage m(e)n to seek company of mistress and/or live-ins. In today’s empowered days such thoughts as that of yours are plain kosher lady and such queries makes me believe more and more are such IPC r/w dream violence act are simple time pass of educated metro wives nothing else.  
Reasoning:
The thoughts that you asked opinion about leads to bringing a mistress to your bedroom one day or another from now on (can you stop him after withdrawal and subsisting the very same marriage – the big answer is NO again) since you have condoned past acts of his which were at one time cruelties to you. Can children bear witnesses of another mommy resting in your bedroom and you preparing all thy name in the family dinner for mistress too and is it right education one is giving to innocent minds in the name of “I don’t want to get him convicted and hey forum I can bear his mistress for happiness of the children”! Forget happiness of children you are taking them to un-ethical routes right from their innocent age that it is all right to have second mommy or daddy does not come home quite often bze he is with his live-in.

Simply not acceptable / tenable in Law such queries are.  

Tajobsindia, it is not misuse of law.I protested his affair after having it's knowledge which he tried to hide very much.When I got documentary proofs and showed to him then only he admitted his 4/5 years old extra marital affair and since then whenevr we had fight over this issue he used to abuse me physically.One day he dragged me in anger to the balcony but I could manage to save myself.That day I was scared of him and next day filed FIR including his mistress name also.His mistress lied in the court (u/s 164)that she was unware of his marriage and she thought him as a bachelor and my husband has cheated everybody including her and me!(now also they are continuing)

I am in shared household now and kids getting him full time.My elder son somehow has come to know that divorce means his mother has to go somewhere else from father's house and starts crying.

After FIR and protection order husband is very much in contol and good in behaviour with kids.

Husband lies to my son that there is no such lady !

Noted, read your justifications and continuing the discussion on more step forward;

Few limited academic questions which interests me are as follows;

1. With PO you are convinced that a husband whose heart is somewhere else can be tamed in reference to context?

2. Do you think this is the best gift your children should grow upto?

3. What should be logical fate of his divorce and your S. 498a IPC now as per you?

4. Do you believe that this is what you should deserve as "natural" justice?

5. In reference to context what is your one message to women undergoing similar facts?

You may choose to ignore reply to all the above or may reply via PM question parawise, I am comfortable with both however take your own time to reply to yourself for a simple fact we are talking here of LIFE not stop gap arrangements atleast this is what academically interests me in all your queries till date here.

gaury,...the confused lady!

Gowry gi,

Looks like there are more troubles invited once you post your questions in this forum. I feel sorry about the situation, like any one else, you have sad story behind. However, realizing Why  498a cases incidents  were not brought it up on your earlier postings???

I had gone thru some of the post where Tajobs already interacted with your issues. And Yet, outstanding question is, Why S 498A added at Police Station by your friend/Lawyer when you don’t realize the consequences… but I admit to the fact, your husband done an adultery against you it should be punished BUT not thru the eyes of evil S 498A.

Following some of your earlier posting says, All point on adultery focused as main accusation.

1.       You had mentioned .., "Harassed Female Society", majorly Male are harassed when wife abuse 498A and DV explicitly for silly matters. Simply, wife get better deal!

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/What-after-summon--49552.asp

2.     In This posting you had focused on Maintenance, where you have Dowry and DV desertion

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/Maintenance-44762.asp

3.       Other post to aquire husband’s House, and demanding him a flat and maintenance.

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/What-after-summon--49552.asp

4.       Adv Zeeshan replied on your case if false not towards the fact of Adultery but explicitly  brought in S. 498A

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/498A-If-woman-herself-is-and-advocate--39621.asp

5.       Offset-2 long listing states that your defensive statement on S498A. Also stated that this case written up Lawyer not from you knowingly at Police station FIR.

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/details.asp?mod_id=39621&offset=2

Samuel,

I married against my falimy wish.I stood by my husband in every moment when he was struggling to get established.I was happy..he seemed to be happy as he tried to hide the affair till last moment.But I came to know ultimately and happend like I described above.

But what he did is his lack of proper upbringing, he did not realise what a marriage is, neither his family taught him!

but my first priorities are always my kids otherwise I am earning and already would have taken divorce if without i were  kids.Father charged with criminals cases are defamatory for  kids in long run.So I want to stay clean before my kids.

Agreed and extending my strong empathy and respect your consideration towards children future.

Please have in mind that! just because a wife charge on 498a( criminal case), a husband no more considered as a criminal. Whereas, the child carries a name of D/o / D/o cruel mommy! - Point is: Damage is from either side.

End of the day, the society curse wife more than  husband and husband score a sympathy name that will yield him a reason for his separation from wife( for record: I have many living example).

My point is, you cant bend the law however you like there is law written for husband as well.

Enough I am getting more, lets focus and all the best for what you wanted to achieve  in life!

@ All ladies coming to forum,

How many times it was detailed in this forum or elsewhere in internet not to use S498a for other purpose. the very fact that, 498a acquittal or quashing has boomerang effect or can i call cascading effect on all your case. Suppose later you file divorce and CrPC 125 nothing works  unless you have tangible once 498a is acquitted and queshed  and it is moral victory for men.

Dont fall prey to bad lawyers. One such living example my wife who cries now on the false advise of lawyer to write notice to commisioner.

Mani

Adeqquatly councelled, I concur the views of expert. The querist is confused but want to harash her husband through the process of law, which is a clear  case of absue of law.