7 years of separation

this is not so easy Upasana.Only he knows who suffers what an insult/cheating is.Every wife too has parents who keeps shedding tears contantly after seeing daughter's broken home.Why only boy's family is brought into discussion??

Who knows what happens to a wife when her husband cheats/tortures her for another woman??

Everybody here has a sad story behind.So don't critisize anyone.(its your version in some other thread)

anamika singh

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hello law experts,

iam in love with a man since 2003. he was married in 1991 but didnt liked his wife and not lived with her after 1998 and also was not diavorced. then she shifted to her parenteral house.  in 2005 when she came to know about our affair she filed many cases againt him including 498a. since then the cases are going on. he is also paying maintenance to her every month. as per the suggestions of lawers, he is not able to apply for divorce till the case 498a continues. she is determined not to agree for diavorce so that we both could not live together happily. please suggest some solution to my problem.

- anamika

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There are more lies;not just this one.

She said that the husband DID NOT LIKE HIS WIFE.So he stopped stayin with her.The wife had not left him.

Also he left her after 1998,not during 1998.

But people are blindly trusting her.

Utpala there's no use showing her this thread.

If she had morals herself,then only she would have thought of making her son good charactered...

When she has none,she will not care even if her son too becomes adulterous...

Have you heard of "CHOR CHOR MAUSERE BHAI"?

husband liked her so he did not like his wife.

.All this is never going to make her husband love her suddenly. If he is bad then why to live with him. I think you have gone through a real hard emotional set back..Try to deal with the matter with alittle bit matur mind. after all you are a woman. Arn't we suppose to be emotionaly stronger then men. If we also behave in the same way as the cruel men do then wht is the difference. But let me tell you one thing. I dnt find cultured and compassionate women these days. I have seen the most cruel and weired face of females.(What about your brother's collegemate, Aparajita??)

Upasana, after getting cheated husband's love is not an important thing.

Bura mat karo, bura mat saho!!U are a woman.Mentally strong .Yet u all need Aparajita to Cheer u up!

thanks shomee for your suggestion. some lawyer friends also suggested me that there is no harm in living together. so we r planning to live together in next 6-7 months. iam on the way to purchase a home for us. and one more thing iam dont have leisure time to post false threads. each and every word of mine is true.. here 7 years of separation refers to that period which they are separated after filing 498. becoz court also knows by this time they are not living together as for earlier period of time there is no proof.

I think I made many people furious..sorry to say but i dnt feel provoked stiil to say something about some one's kid or sister or brother. As far as aprajita is conced be rned she has gone through the same so she knws how we feel.nd its about Anamika and Aprajita..its about the fate of a dead relationship..at least the women have a law to protect them if their husbands torture them..where should the man  and his family go?? I only need to know how can all these people who are writing in red font my family from getting harrased??  How can you make sure that 

my dad who is a heart patient will not get harrased by police and women cell?? no ..u cnt make it sure.this can be dragged for years and years and the fate of all of us could be sealed..bt still u knw we will never think of taking revenge..may be it will take time but she will realize one day that wht goes around comes around..there r thousands of blogs working against it so help can be taken from there too.till this time LCI has been a pillar of strenght for my family. It showes us a way to fight back. but I dnt think that I would participate in this discussion any more. Because my ethics dnt allow me to discuss matters with people like Ms. Princess.I dnt want anyone to be Gandhian...never bcus we paid the price to think in a gandhian way..nd one more thing ..there r many wrong comments passed abt in-laws and men but I have not seen the men here in discussion using a derogatary language. 

The advices given above are,looks to me, not the solution in toto for both the lover and the beloved as also the lover and his wife. Ms. kaur has rightly adviced on the point of period of separation. Divorce is not that easy tobe obtained thro' court. Its only the MCD which works if both decide for it . Normally the will of female spouse works for giving or not giving divorce decree to the couple. Because mostly the victims are wife and the children. Of course cruelty by female spouse on male spouse also seen in many cases but these are not in abundance. In gereral no wife wants that she should be seen as a divorced lady as in our society this is s stigma on the face of a lady which creates many complications in her and her children's life in future. But , there is limit of tolerance beyond which it becomes difficult to pull on the married life. Although its God only who knows why the husband or why the wife wants separation or say divorce, but, s*x has great roll in this regard because it allows to tolerate the inconveniences for it gets satisfied and if s*xual satisfaction is absent then in today's life style only God can save the marital relations. To enjoy a man one should not spoil his family and wife, but, if the wife is really cruel, say causing s*xually emotional torture to the husband, then of course, the husband is perhaps, less sinfull for getting himself used by another lady who is her perfect match in s*xual relations. But the question is how the sacred husband wife relation between the lover and the beloved will remain sacred because when a better lover or the beloved is invented or discovered  the sacred relation will become sinful relation.

The best way is not to spoil the family of the Lover and lead with him a truely sacred secret soulmate relationship swearing before God never to betray each other and never to harm each other. But this requires a soul to soul relation which is impossible in general and possible rarely.

Once an old lady told to me that young and juvenile female can not live without husband and if she lives she must be keeping extra matrimonial relation with her private of the record husband on whose guidance she does not go to her real husband.

In the instant case if the wife of Lover is herself living separate at her own, then, the case may be of similar type, as told by me in the preceding para., and in that case the Lover and the Beloved must work on and see if the MCD could be gotten so that the Lover and the Beloved could openly become husband and wife and if not interested in becoming husband wife openly then God may know you better but then the  advice given by Princess may be useful or harmfull is tobe thought by the Beloved because according to me it will be short term enjoyment turning in to clashes later on which some time gives drastic results also. Instead of that its better to follow the advices of ms. kaur and mr.  kapoor.Of course mr. kaur should not be that hard to the  Beloved.

Now my answer to the material question raised by ms. anamika. If the wife of your Lover files a case of attempt of bigamous marriage against your Lover making you as accomplice instigating abetter hetching criminal conspiracy then both of you will come in problem.So the problem is very serious and you should go ahead carefully ensuring that you dont commit anything which may put you in happiness for a while but throw you in great problems later on.  My advice to you will be never harm your Lover and dont keep eye on her wallet etc. and try to prove yourself as his real Beloved, then your Lover will himself discover the solution for your satisfaction with him , if you really prove yourself soul to soul soulmate. Because men like such ladies and do every thing for them, of course not criminality, if they find that its soul to soul relation.

Illegality and immorality I would hate to advice and in that regard I am in line with ms. kaur.

@ Author

1. Yes, you can have Live-in with a married man.
Reasoning:
There is no law of the land which says it is 'offence' to have such 'economics of arrangements' between two adults in any persuasive combination of "domestic relationships",


2. You can keep as tenant a married man undergoing seperation with some civil / criminal cases in hand.
Reasoning:
There is no law of land which says it is 'offence' to have such owner - tenant contract relationship.


3. You can buy property for furthering your love.
Reasoning:
There is no law of land which says it is 'offence' to purchase property by a un-married women. However it leads way to possible 'alleged proof' of having a extra marrital relationship of one spouse within framework of criminal and or family law. 


4. Yes, you can extend 'moral support' to a married man and his side of family.
Reasoning:
There is no law of the land which says it is 'offence' for a un-married women to extend moral support to raised query que.


5. Yes, if the criminal case has no substance based on stretch of imagination flowing after seeing its service from last about 7 years then Art. 21 COI is remedy available and or even S. 482 is another alternate remedy available to victim side.
Reasoning:
No person shall be exonerated forever for alleged offence(s) which does not prime facie stands silver quality in a criminal trial in situation of such lapsed trial period.

6. His divorce related addendum in your brief before us.
Take: It is his personal fate in his marriage at age 20 something. If his wife is not willing to divorce soon as secretly prayed by you two then whosoever filed ‘alleged grounds’ for divorce has to prove on floor such allegations and if proved they shall be falling apart by way of a decree and if not proved then they on paper will be tied as planned by destiny by chance and not by choice ! You can’t help him here much other than acting as live –in speeds up prime facie allegations on character of his thus inviting getting speedy divorce from his wife if she has filed and or even if he happens to file one as she will hook up ingrediants of live-in etal in her counter relief prayer with prime facie proof (S. 23 A HMA) . However maintenance pendente lite coupled with post divorce alimony is something which he clubbed with your finances needs attention at the end of these one sided “personal choice” love tunnel.


7. Live –in as a middle class urban India’s social acceptance emerging phenomena.
Take: It is nothing new as far as Indian culture read as customs down memory lane is concerned. Some parts of India it is accepted as painful reality for first wife (by somehow lving in a bigger house whereas the live in lover lives in a smaller house) and some parts of India it is gaining social momentum as ‘way of life’ by either genders as way of choice. Law is also catching up to this social debate as few vocal social engineers are heating for and or against debates on this subject before various Bench and we read down such application of minds on and off by such citation referrences.

8. 7 years separation as expectation for quicky end of all present relationship of his !
In present family law framework it is not a accepted ‘ground’. Had he been not heard of or renounced the world for 7 years qua then it would be other matter and for the same your query would not have seen the ink by now. Well is it not so :-)  


Missl.
You come here to LCI with a legal query and above takes are purely legal and I shall not judge veracity of your brief to be true or false as it is not within my advise parameters for this presented brief. It is purely your and his call for accepting and or engineering way forward based on above legal view points.

PS:
Some time pass non-legal women authors advises on your query are their jealousy based perception pressed here to distinguish their past marital faults before readable intelectual members of the bar here. The moment you ask them their past that will keep them marching out takign with them their unbecoming moral pravachan from such posts.
Reasoning:
Any person comes here with a brief and are seeking / expecting legal advise from legal professionals who are members of Bar. Moral pravachan are not what these persons expect in return for that form an NGO and invite enquirries independently instead of piggy riding well established legal platforms such as LCI and experiment with all your social engineering skills to your satisfaction is my independent view!

Some so called lawyers are gklaring examples of hypocrisy here.

They talk of practicality by giving only a legal advice to the query seeker.According to them,we have to take his words(asked in the query) as true,and then advise legally.

However when a wife comes to seek advice for seeking maintenance,or for punishing her crooked husband/inlaws,these so called lawyers will not take her case as true.They will pass sarcastic comments on her that she is filing a false case,only because she's wanting to take an action.

One thing is noteworthy...If a wife had filed a case,then settled it and is seeking advice in relation to MCD,then it's cent percent pakka "these" lawyers will start their "advice" with the sentence that "You settled the case as it was false".............

Such people have great respect for ........................ but none for a legally wedded wife!

God save this earth from the ill-effects of Kaliyuga,and their jeete jaagte avtaar........

@ Princess....

Does below ring some bell or does bring recolletion of past deeds.


Any Family Law practicing Lawyer is happy to accept wives brief more over a husbands brief.

Reason being:

Any WIFE gives him fees for;

1. S. 498a + 406 IPC complaint 
2. DV Act complaint
3. S. 125 CrPC suit
4. Child Custody suit
5. Then for MCD

in relation to a HUSBAND who gives fees to a family law lawyer only for;

1. RCR suit based on most common advise in prevalence

OR

FOR

2. Divorce suit probably under his side of elders pressure

OR /and

3. Child custody suit may be due to emotions based


So how come we members of Bar advise here are misread / misinterpreted by you? Issue is that of rainbow glasses wielding time pass women presence here with their moral policing in legal forums. Agar koi shakh bacha hai to upaney aap last 50 messages in family law forum which have been answered by LAWYERS shall be checked; after all archived internet postings do not lie hai ki nahi :-)

Reasoning:
Kisyai bili abb khamba noche....................................


Ta ra rum pum...............

Dear Author, u may have got the legal replies now.Anyway always try to provide true informations to the lawyers as anything should not be hidden from lawyers and doctors.

U and your lover is free from charges of adultary by indian legal system ,so

NJOY!!!

Being an unmarried girl u have full right to enjoy  and extort giving him access to your b*dy.There is no word named "offence" in a unmarried girls dictionary.

PATA NAHI KYO AADAMI AISI JINDGI KYO CHAHATE HAI JISME KOI BHAVISYA NAHI, O MY GOD ITANA KHULAA PAN

Kisyai bili abb khamba noche....................................

what is the meaning of it??plz somebody explain.

Utpala,it means to get embarassed.

I wonder why Tajobs thinks I am embarassed..

Actually Tajobs ki puraani aadat hai,unhe koi counterargument do,tab wo dusre topics discuss karne lagte hai,so that the issue gets diverted.Above also he's done the same thing.Because he had no reply to what I said about his basic nature.

Well I was referring to "so called lawyers" in my above post without naming anyone,but he jumped into the conversation,thinking I am addressing him...This is called "Chor ki Daari me Tinka".

Since he already thought that I am referring to him,he also admitted indirectly that he gets good fees from women,as any lawyer like him is willing to take up wife's cases....I admire his honesty in this regard.

Lastly I had said that Tajobs never trusts a wife here in LCI who's willing to take action against abusive parent inlaws and husband.He usually thinks she 's doing it only for extortion and her case may be false.His replies to such wives are proofs of the same.

Then he targets that category of wives also,where the wife had filed a case,then settled it.He alleges them of misusing the law only for extortion.I mean how can anyone judge that the girl who settled the case must be wicked.She may have her own reasons not to fight out.But he won't understand.All because he's wearing those opaque black glasses through which light of awakening cannot pass through,to illuminate his ignorant mind..

So he never trusts all these wives and their words,but at the same time he blindly trusts all those women here who are looking for ways to break their lovers' marriages.Tajobs never suspects that they may be lying for their own selfishness.He always g\ives them a good advice on how to achieve their goal.Usually he's very warm and friendly with them.

This clearly shows how biased he is towards a wife,and how much generous he is towards a home breaker.

Hats off to his kindness and maturity!