Absconding husband since 2012

Your issue has been sufficiently addressed by Legal Experts here

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/Maintanence-from-a-4-years-absonded-husband-135093.asp

and 

here

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/Acess-by-grand-parent-133364.asp

What is the opinion of your advocate on the above query?  Please let us know about it, so that we can further guide you if advise given by your advocate is wrong or incorrect.

@ author 

with so many cases filed on him do you still expect him to come back  your lawyer should be in a position to help you out as you are paying him his fees .

you state that he was demanding dowry and you are eyeing his two flats that he has booked . You dont want to be a burden on your father than why did you file all those cases . So you want to be a burden on your husband . To me it seems from the english on your post you are a educated women . Now days even handicapped people are working . You are able bodied hence better you pick up a job and start working .

Very good reply Stanley. Women these days are just not eyeing husbands property's, they are even listing out in laws movable and immovable property shamelessly. She is not even bothered whether the husband is even alive or dead but she doesn't want to wait for another three more years to grab his property. And these people want us to believe that  they gave dowry during the wedding and even after that. But that lucky guy has gone untraceable. God bless him.

Same query repeated many times....

Please listen to others and please understand their views.......Your lawyer knows ur case best so atleast listen to him.

In my personal opinion ur husband is not going to come back, Accept the reality !

Thank you so much for the comments . I am working from home to live a decent living , my brother and my father is also helping me to live a decent life . My motive to write this write up was , can i do neting to get my husband back to India ??

I am not eyeing his Flats , but there is no other way to receive my jewellery money from my inlaws . 

And from your comments its look like its a small thing for yall Men to Marry , get a child from that marriage and then ask for Dowry , try to be happy till u get the dowry and when it stops coming then leave ur wife and the Child and absond the country leaving them with nathing . 

He's Spoilt my Entire Life , I am a burden to my family and even if i  Earn my whole life i wont be able to buy a House for myself at these property rates , why dont yall understand the child with me is also his child and hes got a Right on the Fathers Property . Thats only my Last hope now , as i never thought my husband wud leave me and my child for money . I thought he loved me and my child and money wud be the last thing on his mind and he leaving us for money is a astonishing fact for me and my child .

As a gal i also wanted to have a Loving Husband and a Loving Family , a normal Life and a happy Married life but These DOWRY demands and physical abuse a gal has to face is a big hurdle in marriage . 

Please help me wht else can i do legally or otherwise , as my husband is absonding from the last 4.5 years .

Thanking you 

Find in your heart to move on.

Drop all cases.

File a divorce case based on desertion.

Even he fights, you will get a divorce in 2 years at the most.

Move with your life.

There ain't saints in this forums.

Thank you for the advice , he wont contest as hes absonding from 4.5 years , i will get a exparty divorce but will have to leave my  jewellery which is with my inlaws , my jelwellery is a lot of money

i am confused wht to do ?? 

Originally posted by : sandy
	Thank you so much for the comments . I am working from home to live a decent living , my brother and my father is also helping me to live a decent life . My motive to write this write up was , can i do neting to get my husband back to India ?? I am not eyeing his Flats , but there is no other way to receive my jewellery money from my inlaws .  And from your comments its look like its a small thing for yall Men to Marry , get a child from that marriage and then ask for Dowry , try to be happy till u get the dowry and when it stops coming then leave ur wife and the Child and absond the country leaving them with nathing .  He's Spoilt my Entire Life , I am a burden to my family and even if i  Earn my whole life i wont be able to buy a House for myself at these property rates , why dont yall understand the child with me is also his child and hes got a Right on the Fathers Property . Thats only my Last hope now , as i never thought my husband wud leave me and my child for money . I thought he loved me and my child and money wud be the last thing on his mind and he leaving us for money is a astonishing fact for me and my child . As a gal i also wanted to have a Loving Husband and a Loving Family , a normal Life and a happy Married life but These DOWRY demands and physical abuse a gal has to face is a big hurdle in marriage .    Please help me wht else can i do legally or otherwise , as my husband is absonding from the last 4.5 years .   Thanking you

Mam,

If you had so much money/jwellery why did you not invest it in some place like sites?  Why did you agree to give dowry when you yourself are able to earn a livelihood?  I dont understand the concept of dowry even today.  If you are well off, then you should look for someone of same status, so that he wont ask dowry.  If he is not of same status, and is poor, and needs money to start business/self improvement and asks loan from you (because you are well off), nothing wrong in lending money to such a man, but should take back money slowly if you happen to marry him.

On the contrary, you should be looking for someone who is willing to give you love and care rather than someone who is in need of money and asks dowry.  The fault lies in you.  Why give dowry and feed blood thristy dog?  Once you feed, it ask more.  You give more, it ask even more.  Why cant any woman who is well off not give dowry?  Why is it mandatory for a girl to marry candidate like ESIS (someone who has taken dowry to marry a girl)?  WHy cant woman stop this system of dowry by not feeding blood thirsty dogs?

And why did your husband run away? Only one dialogue comes to my mind :Aisa to aadmi life mein do-ich time bhagta hai...ya to olympic ka race ho ya police ka case ho!:  Why will a man go absconding even if he is having a affair?  Your version is far from truth.  Whether you tell truth or not, he knows the truth, your husband, thats the reason why he is nowhere near you.

You think we are idiots to simply believe anything?  Men are more sensitive than women.  Men are tough on exterior and not that strong mentally, if they feel threatened they simply vanish.  In this age and time you are asking what to do on a online forum, whereas you can as well contact any advocate locally who will jollywell guide you regarding this.

Why arent you contacting any advocate locally? None of the points you have put here meet to give a fair picture.  You may wait for other members to respond, most of them could not adjust with wife like you.  If any advocates reply, you should be lucky.  It is easier to get solution for this problem locally than search for answers internationally.

I know you wont like my reply, but just think, the problem would not have arised at all if you had not seeked a man who wanted dowry and not you, isnt it?  For that remark and further advise provided herein I need you to click on the like button to convey thanks, just for the simple reason that I like the likes number to increase :)

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A befitting reply from helping hand  .My like has been conveyed to helping hand .

Thanks for the reply , 

I didnt give him dowry , my dad did and when it started it didnt start as a dowry demand , it started as small small demads from my inlaws which they said was their family tradition - like when was son was born a 10 gms gold chain was demanded for the child , and my dad succoms to their demands but slowly the demands increased .

My husband is not poor hes got property Abroad as well as in India , he earns abt 2.5 lakh per month , so us helping him for money does not arise , he wanted money which he doesnt have to give back . Some ppl like like that even if they earn they always want wht they get FREE .

I surely agree we sudnt have given him a penny as dowry coz the same thing happned , when u give little the demand  increases the next time 

He ran away coz , he came to my house to take away the child and during that he manhandlled me and my family members and we had to call the police , in the police station he cried for Mercy and said he will come back but never did and absonded from that nite .

I was physically abused for 5 years but didnt have the courage to tell my parents or any one else as i thought it wud break  my marriage and he use to love me also , actually he was very hot tempered and i had taken my life the way it came . But when the dowry demands increased to a point that he started abusing my dad on the phone for not agreeing to pay the dowry and he was unwilling to come back to India as we were abroad ( carriabean islands ) , my father agreed to pay the Dowry to get me back home safe .Its only when we came back to India i told the truth to my parents reg the Physical Abuse . I am at Fault for sure , i sudnt have taken this from him , as i thought he loves me too 

I have a advocate and hes done his bit by filing cases but as hes not there and absonded none of my case is finding the conclusion  

I am coming online so that i get any suggesions from More learned Advocates regarding this situation . 

And dont worry i dont feel bad abt wht ever neone WRITES as they will answer according to the Circumstances they have seen and heard . 

Thanking you 

Originally posted by : sandy
	Thanks for the reply ,  I didnt give him dowry , my dad did and when it started it didnt start as a dowry demand , it started as small small demads from my inlaws which they said was their family tradition - like when was son was born a 10 gms gold chain was demanded for the child , and my dad succoms to their demands but slowly the demands increased . My husband is not poor hes got property Abroad as well as in India , he earns abt 2.5 lakh per month , so us helping him for money does not arise , he wanted money which he doesnt have to give back . Some ppl like like that even if they earn they always want wht they get FREE . I surely agree we sudnt have given him a penny as dowry coz the same thing happned , when u give little the demand  increases the next time  He ran away coz , he came to my house to take away the child and during that he manhandlled me and my family members and we had to call the police , in the police station he cried for Mercy and said he will come back but never did and absonded from that nite . I was physically abused for 5 years but didnt have the courage to tell my parents or any one else as i thought it wud break  my marriage and he use to love me also , actually he was very hot tempered and i had taken my life the way it came . But when the dowry demands increased to a point that he started abusing my dad on the phone for not agreeing to pay the dowry and he was unwilling to come back to India as we were abroad ( carriabean islands ) , my father agreed to pay the Dowry to get me back home safe .Its only when we came back to India i told the truth to my parents reg the Physical Abuse . I am at Fault for sure , i sudnt have taken this from him , as i thought he loves me too  I have a advocate and hes done his bit by filing cases but as hes not there and absonded none of my case is finding the conclusion   I am coming online so that i get any suggesions from More learned Advocates regarding this situation .    And dont worry i dont feel bad abt wht ever neone WRITES as they will answer according to the Circumstances they have seen and heard .    Thanking you

Mam,

Yes you are correct.  Cases like yours I see in court each day.  The wife has nothing but a list of complaints against husband and vice versa.  In bed you can twist and turn and adjust whichever angle you ppl want, but cant adjust out sid of bed?  How fair is it?  You wanted suggestion hence you chose this forum seeking solution to your problem. However you seem to have already approached court seeking remedy, now what makes you repeat the story here and seeking suggestions for the same remedy. you may wait for the outcome of the case and then revert for more suggestions in case the case is not decided in your favor. So what you are doing is time pass.  Once matter in court, marriage over. You simply take divorce and  move on. Eitherways no meaning in anything, simply open thread with same old topic, with new ifs and buts or sometimes new heading. etc.  all the best.

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