adultry

my question is  of  s*xually repressed wives. The husband must be having a medical problem,. or maybe a roving eye. or not find her attractive enuf. or many of the myraid reasons.

so if he neglects her, can she satisfy herself with some other person?

in a court of law, can it be proved that it is the man who is the culprit and has pushed her to it?

Thanks Lawstudent for not reacting sharply on my postings. 

A meaningful marriage is a bond of trust. If a spouse has a medical problem, he needs understanding not grounded in pity but in love and self respect which sends clear signal to the spouse that s*x is one of the most important components but not the only component love is made of. However, A husband with roving eye is altogether a different case and should be dealt with firmly.

Women and girls need to draw a line to protect their own interest too. Going to a neighbor to satisfy her s*xual urge in this  is not a solution. It would bring in extreme bitterness in the relationship. It is a breach of trust. So let the  woman in this case seek dissolution of marriage first  and then move ahead with her life, deciding what she wants from life.

My views may strike as puritanic and I am not ashamed of it , but this would be in the interest( here I do not mean commercial interest, alimony etc., that's a different issue) of the concerned woman. She will never look back her life with guilt, she will keep her dignity intact, and her life would be shadowed by the unhappy( emotional, psychological, and physical)  consequences such relationships which are based only on s*x leads to. 

As far as husband's not giving pocket money is concerned, the woman in this case( she seems to be young), can concentrate on putting her existing skills to productive use or acquiring some qualification which would make her capable of earning for her pocket money. This would enable her to  live with self respect. She must  also assert her rights to have money for her expenses from her husband through  social pressure, and if that does not work, through legal route. Remaining aware of one's rights and protecting them without indulging into acts of self destruction is the key here.

Read : she will never look back her life as she will never look back on her life....

correction again: and her life will not be shadowed by 

To gender researcher replier;

1.      If husband does something like this then “he should be dealt firmly” you say but when (it seems you also say 'young') wife does something like this is 'puritan thought' and she is suggested to continue such liaisons by dissolution of marriage! What is this suggestion madam?

2.      You are sending a social message similar to Ranjana Kumari that a “young wife who does not get pocket money from her husband and is not satisfied with him s*xually should be allowed to have outside s*xual interest and top it with charges of dissolution of marriage on him and may look at maint. too may be as separate issues” wow.

3.      The beauty of the author que. is that he is asking this que. knowing well what a Hindu Marriage is all about then impromptu when you madam object to some degrading statements of some members he is thanking your post and now with your last reply above para 1 and 2 pops up as a social message. No wonder adultery suits are failure in India J

4.      Yeh bhi sahi guidance hai madam apki family law forum mei !!!!!

In my reply, and yes as a gender researcher, I have no where said, that the woman should continue s*xual relationship within the institution of marriage. I have said

Women and girls need to draw a line to protect their own interest too. Going to a neighbor to satisfy her s*xual urge in this  is not a solution. It would bring in extreme bitterness in the relationship. It is a breach of trust. So let the  woman in this case seek dissolution of marriage first  and then move ahead with her life, deciding what she wants from life.

Please read let her seek dissolution of her marriage first. Moving ahead in life does not say anything, and of course an individual has to take his/her own decisions ...ultimately we all are responsible for our own individual decisions. 

I have also made it clear that she should gain some skills to earn her pocket money and no where have said she should indulge in s*x to earn money.

My last sentence: 

This would enable her to  live with self respect. She must  also assert her rights to have money for her expenses from her husband through  social pressure, and if that does not work, through legal route. Remaining aware of one's rights and protecting them without indulging into acts of self destruction is the key here.

The acts of self destruction here in the entire context would be understood by most readers.

When I said she seems to be young, it meant in the context --see the positioning of the expression,  that gaining new skills may not be difficult and earning pocket money for her. So it depends with what mind set a reader reads my posting and irrespective of the mindset the message here is clear. 

Yes, this social message is one of the angles which this gender researcher is promoting and hence cares to clarify what she has written and what she has not, though normally I avoid replying to intentional distortion of the messages. And this clarification is for all readers who would be reading this thread. 

I am reminded of D Arun Kumar who once has written a very long reply attacking me personally that I am a liar and a woman without any integrity . The reason was my message was read in a hurry and the most important word in that message was intentionally or intentionally was not read. I am reminded of him because today the same thing has happened in the similar fashion, this time not by Arun Kumar but Tajobindia! I have to believe now in coincidence.

Note: a mere mention of young woman does not denote s*x and s*xual urge. it means energy which can be put to use in different directions, it means looking life with hope and optimism, it means openness to learning. 

Other readers would do well to read things in context not only of this posting but also of other postings of any member for that matter.

Since I have made my stand clear against this maligning intent of Tajobindia, I will not again indulge in acts of self destruction, in this case engaging in verbal exchanges with him. 

wat if husband is not satisfied , is he allowed to be intimate with his divorced/widowed  neighbour and pays her too . is there any criminal case that can be filed against such an unsatisfied husband.

Reply to gender researcher.


Madam the problem with repliers is that first they complain to admin. that this thread degrades women, then they say they do not wish to reply any further, then icing on the same thread post cake is that they start comparing some defunct author named <D. Arun Kumar> with some remarks some apology he took then with present replier i.e. <tajobsindia>. Then you say do not want to self destruct.......

I i.e <tajobsindia> is now lost what to comment or continue but like you I do stand by previous paras.


Reasoning;


1. You wanted this post to be banned. Stick to it first what you wnat the fte of this post thread.


2. You were prompted by Author to reply again post abv. Para 1.


3. <tajobsindia> commented trying to understand your so called social message on this thread.


4. You start back tracking and comparing <tajobsindia> with <d.arun kumar> and taking it as personal.


5. May be by now you might have again complained to <admin.> that <d.arun kumar> is <tajobsindia> which all bald perceptions leads to no where as the main question will still remains probably un-solved.


6. Admittidly position of facts devour of confrontation on provided briefs; you may or may not reply to this reply as you always say I donot wish to reply but then some justification and or clarification pops up so it all remains so confusing when members take posts “personal’. Discuss relevant "briefs" accordingly minus "personal issues", that is where the problem starts in Family Law forum.


7. The que. of author is “if a husband does not maintain his wife nor satisfies wife s*xually should wife seek s*xual pleasure while remaining in marriage and further does these are grounds of dissolution of marriage?” The plain answer is first she is committing adultery and there is no ipso facto thoughts about it and second the marriage should be dissolved only on grounds of non maintaining wife clubbed with proved grunds of adultery as that line of defense is of husbands and third in such Court of Law situation this wife will not be even entitled for any maint. (check with the most knowledgeable lawyer here he / she will also say this that adultry proved wife is not entilted for maint.) and members should not feel ashamed of such clear answers and start justifying with Mahabharata to ‘dignity’ of a married women in whatever context.



This is like giving plain encouragement to same married women who is at fault.

Hi, I am really enjoying the postings of the members.

Assumi Sir,

Kyu namak sprinkle kar rahe hai aap iss innocent que. of <studentof law> pey J  


BTW, the que. is really too good I will say I mean it defies all notions of Great Indian Family law - it is similar to call for Sex Education in Primary School and there a pappu asks a un-parliamentary que. to class teacher........what will the teacher reply.........it is a million anti-thesis old anwer now if sense and sensiabilities of India to bee kept inact.

I do not backtrack, I clarify, wherever I need to clarify. However, even if I had not clarified, my message remains very clear. 

Period. 

Mahabharata can be interpreted layer by layer and so can be  Ramayana from Anthropological, sociological and gender perspectives. Many academic scholars of renown have already done it. 

Renuka

Whenever you may like you may answer layer by layer in legal language simple and straight answer to a que. of Author of this post before you divert readers (repliers) to re-discover Mahabharata and Ramayana whereas a wife is seeking external pleasures while remaining in marriage !.  


Que.: “If a husband does not maintain his wife nor satisfies wife s*xually should wife seek s*xual pleasure outside while remaining in marriage and further does these are grounds of dissolution of marriage?”

WIFE HAS THIS RIGHT , if husband murmurs a word about it she can punish him so badly that from afterwards he will help her in adultery.

Husband ke liye to ek taraf kuva toh dusari taraf khai....

1) If he objects wife's adultery and exposes her infront of others and leaves her

2) If he himself commits adultery and wife comes to know....

In both the cases he would face 498a, crpc 125, DV etc.

SO HUBBY HAS NO OPTION?