Associate Membership of a Society is usually confused with Co-ownership.
When any property is purchased in joint names, then the first person named on the share certificate is the member and the second or subsequently named persons are associate members. However, they are also co-owners of the property. All of them can participate and ask questions in the meetings. However, only the first named member can vote and in his absence the second named member, or in their absence the third named member and so on. When, the main member dies, then his nominee becomes the member of the society. However, the co-ownership of the other members remains as such, and only the beneficial share of the main member is divided as per his will or personal succession laws. The share of the co-owners in the apartment remains valid and the apartment can not be disposed off without the consent of all the co-owners. In some cases it might be possible that the nominee of the dead member is different from the legatee. In such cases while the immediate change in the share certificate is in the name of the nominee, the share certificate is subsequently transferred in the name of the legatee after probate and execution of the will.
When the property is purchased by a single person, he can apply to the society to register an 'Associate member' to represent him in the sociey meetings in his absence. This is a pure case of only associate membership and nhis name is mentioned on the share certificate as 'Associate member' and not co-owner. Such a person has no interest in the apartment and can participate in meetings only in the absence of the main member. His associate membership is also co-terminus with the main member and ends on his death.
In your case, the wife appears to be a co-owner as in the first case above, and therefore the advice as per Advocate Thakkar should apply. Advice of Advocate Amar should apply in the second case.