Hi,
I've a friend in a dilemma and your knowledgeable replies will be of great help!
He thinks that his wife was cheating on him for many years. He found emails and chat conversations (abt 3 years ago) which were, in fact, love letters to his wife's male colleagues (to two guys) . He did not confront her at that time and being unable to decide whether to stay in the marriage or come out of it, in all that emotional confusion, he ended up having an affair with another woman. His wife found out about it, she found some proof and started torturing and threatening him (he did not keep any proof of love letters she sent to her lovers). The abuse went on for close to a year and he took the mental torture. She would use that proof as an excuse for everything and abuse him verbally. Meanwhile, she started going out with one of her lovers and whenever this guy questioned, she would create a scene and threaten him. She would always say I am going to hang out with friends for coffee or pizza or something like that. Whenever she abused him and accused him or having affair, if he brought up the topic of love letters she wrote, she would always say that she only wrote letters and she did not have physical relationship. She would then threaten him saying I have proof, and asked him to show proof, if he had any, that she had affairs with her colleagues. At that time he had no evidence of her affair.
By chance, he happened to find proper evidence of her affair with another guy. Some messages and pictures. This time, he has saved the evidence. Now he is struggling to decide what to do.
I agree that he too made a mistake, was stupid, but he does not want to be in the marriage any longer. He does not want this issue to be know and reasons for separation to be know to everyone, as it would make life difficult for both of them, and their families later on.
What is the best way for him. Can they go for divorce with mutual consent, if he can convince her? He does not want his and her families also to find out what happened.
Thanks a lot in advance for your valuable suggestions.
