Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman
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There is only one perfect child in the world and every Mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every Neighbour has it
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Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man,
The Master of Women"?
Sales girl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
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The world's thinnest book has only one word written in
it: "Everything" and the book is titled: "What Women Want!"
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A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND
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Girlfriends are like chocolates, taste good anytime.
Lovers are like PIZZAS, Hot and spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands are like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice
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Man receives telegram: Wife dead - should be buried or Cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
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Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying &
The other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your Life!
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Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second Woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the
Same offence
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Lady to her maid: Oh Kanta, I have reason to suspect that my
Husband is having an affair with his secretary."
Kanta : I don't believe it! You are just saying that to make
Me jealous!"
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Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six Months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother & said,
"I've found a man just like father!"
Mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
NOW OTHER JOKES
Three dead bodies turn up at the morgue, all with very big smiles on their faces.
The coroner calls the police to tell them his results after the examination.
"First body: Parsi, 80, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress.
Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner.
"Second body: "Goan, 55, won a Lakh of rupees on the lottery, spent it all on whisky.
Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one.
Santa Singh from Punjab, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
"Thought he was having his picture taken."
NEXT JOKE
Engineers Vs Lawyers"
Three lawyers and three engineers are
traveling by train to a conference. At the
station, the three lawyers each buy tickets
and watch as the three engineers buy
only a single ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on
only one ticket?" asked one of the three
lawyers.
"Watch and you'll see," answers one of the
engineers.
They all board the train. The lawyers take
their respective seats but all three engineers
cram into a restroom and close the door
behind them. Shortly after the train has
departed, the conductor comes around
collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom
door and says, "Ticket, please." The door
opens just a crack and a single arm emerges
with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it
and moves on.
The lawyers saw this and agreed it was
quite a clever idea. So after the conference,
the lawyers decide to copy the engineers on
the return trip and save some money. When
they get to the station, they buy a single
ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment,
the engineers don't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket,"
asks one perplexed lawyer.
"Watch and you'll see," says one of the
engineers.
When they board the train, the three lawyers
cram into a restroom and the three engineers
cram into another one nearby. The train
departs. Shortly afterward, one of the
engineers leaves his restroom and walks
over to the restroom where the lawyers are
hiding. He knocks on the door and says,
"Ticket, please."
