Hi
I am 26 yr old female. I have been in a 6+ yrs relationship with a guy . Currently now he is in the USA. We have been wanting to get married to each other from the say one. This was NEVER a time pass or any other intension. He even spoke to my parents on Nov 2009 and promised them verbally to get married to me. We have been in a distance relationship for close to 3+ yrs now. He completed his MS and got a job in june 2009. We have been physically active. He did not tell his family members that he had a girl friend for all these 6 yrs. He wanted to get settled n then tell them. I found it fair and did not demand him to inform at home. But from july 2009 i started asking him to tell at home. We decided to get engaged in April 2010 and married in Dec 2010. I informed my parents and they were happy.. His parents went to the us to visit him n his sister in nov 2009 for a few months. He told his parents on Dec 31st. He is a tamil bhramin Iyer. I am not an Iyer. His parents did not agree . He called off the relationship on Jan 4th. I felt helpless and I informed our common best friend in the US to go talk to him. I'll call my friend 'S' regarding our s*xual relationship too. S was wild and went and blasted my boyfriend. My boyfriend again claimed to try at home. His elder sister called my family members and made a big mess. My boyfriend called my parents and told them he himself is not interested. He emailed me to leave him alone and said he is changing his phone number. Him being in the USA is very convenient for him. He has blocked my email ids. and does not pick up any of my friend's call.
I have been devastated and I even tried to commit suicide. My parents took me to the Psych. I am undergoing counselling. BUT i am not able to tell my parents or my councellor that I have been betrayed.. I am ineligible to marry and I am ineligible to live.
I have not only been a moral support through out my boyfriend's hard times but also financially supportive. He was jobless in india for more than 1.5 yrs. I used to pay his bills . I used to buy him clothings and send it to the USA. He does not even seem to be grateful about it!
Since we have been in a long distance rel, I have EVERY thing as a mail conversation or a chat.. our discussions about marriage. His promise to walk out of his house if his parents did not agree. His acknowledgement that he has slept with me. ETC.
I have been begging to him to talk to me for months now...
His last email to me :
what can i talk to someone who is not mature enough to realize what is happening? what do you possibly have to say now? you still think there is hope? this is not happening... i dont want it to happen. there is a reason why i did not push my family and stand up for this relationship. I did not believe in it. When I tell you you are immature, i did not mean the cartoons you are watching. I meant you do not know how to handle people or handle any situation. I have told you this a million times. you never understood what it. Within a day of me telling you that my parents didn't agree, you had already told simon EVERYTHING. no sane person would do this. even he told me he was disgusted to hear it. you made me write a mail to you so that you can black mail me with it. what kind of a person does these things? Fine, I could have put up with you, but think about my parents and my family. if there is a problem in the future, i am convinced you are going to bring a third persons in to the issue, make my family members involved stand in front of them and tear them apart. the bottom line is, you don't know how to handle a situation maturely. If I believed in what we had, I would have definitely stood up for it. I had my doubts and I realized my mistake and I agreed to my parents. in fact, my parents and my sister judged you more quickly than i did. I had to agree with them.
I have lost everything in life. In chennai every one.. from my colleagues to my friends and family .. relatives.. my friends family.. all know abt me and my boy friend..
My boyfriend is safe in US. His family does not know ANYTHING.
He is a a very good job now. He does not even remember that it was I who even prepared his resume. It was I who drew the diagrams for his thesis .. I edited his presentations and thesis.. Now he has money .. He emailed me that his parents are looking for a girl for him.. He has been talking to some one after the horoscope matched..
I want to file a case. I dont mind telling my parents what he has done to me.
pls. advice.