Cheating in love

believe me thanks to indian laws his wife can do nothing against you if she wants to!

i am more interested to know what i can do as per law... not her.  

on what basis u want to teach her a lesson??

Do u want another women should suffer for u?Yours was not luv, it was adultary as u were married.

Forget this matter and don't spoil another lady's life being yourself a women.

In legal perspective u might get relief under domestic violence Act.

Or consult with your husband.He can file a case u/s497 on your boyfriend for having relation with his "abla" wife.

on what basis u want to teach her a lesson??

It should be 'him'

Sorry for multiple posts.

i am sorry, i donot want to teach her any lesson, i want to teach him a lesson, that he misused my position.  i did not go to him, he dragged me in to this, and my husband is aware about my affair. but his wife had a doubt but now as per him it is confirmed.  even in their house, including his sister knows about our affair, and his family members are aware about us.  but it is just his wife who is threatnening him either to do something to the kids, or to herself.  just because of the kids he is in this marriage, that everybody knows. but that is not the point now...  he had promised me that he would never leave me whatever might be the case, but now just his wife threatned him, he is avoiding me .  hence, inorder not to play in anyother girls life,  i want to teach him a lesson.  He takes care of his family very much, and he fulfills all the demands from his wife, and he really cares about his family,  and i donot have any objections nor have interffered with their matter.  i have not spoiled anybody's life... but now she is spoiling mine... by threatnening him.

In this case, i want to teach him a lesson so that he shouldnot look in to any othergirls other than his wife, i feel he donot have any rights to play with anybody emotions.. or spoil anyones life.  hence need your support and advise....

@srilakshmi

As you are a mother one a son and as I understand must be over 25yr or might be even over 30yr, it is not at all an acceptable comment that "he dragged you in all this". How could a man drag a woman to make a foreign trip with him if she does not agree. You own original post says that YOU are in love. It can never mean, that you are forecefully in love. How can someone be made to love other, forcefully??

Anyways, what you did was adultery as per Indian Law but fortunately for your boy-friend, his wife cannot do anything about him. As "Adultery" case could only be filed by a man against another man and the wife who was adultrous would not even be treated as abettor. So you are safe and if your husband does not file a case, then your boy-friend is also safe.

What you did with him, was consented by you and certainly it was mutual. Why is it that you wish to to do detriment to your boy-friend's life? Just because you feel the urge to have a boy-friend and enjoy unrestricted relation with him but he being threaten by his wife, has left you? Very shocking that once a lover and now an enemy suddenly? Where is you love now for this person? This also shows, that it was never love but just enjoying a company which was much needed for you.

Such being the position of well educated women today, still we have 17th century approach towards women of India...

//peace

/Saurabh..V

what i mean by dragging me in to this is, he made me to love him, but we both wanted to spend some time togethe, hence we went. i accept that even i am a culprint in this, but i never withdrawn or cheated on him.  but now just because some problem arise, he wants to go away from me, is it not cheating on me.... after promising that he won't leave me alone at any circumstances... is it not wrong to take make me trust in him,  is it not wrong to make false promises....  for this i want to take a legal action on him.

@Srilakshmi

You should understand that in weak moments and relations like yours, any man or woman would not hesitate to make a promise that, "Come what may, we shall stay united". But on real world these are not real grounds or doable promises. He might even had promised you that he could pluck stars for you or make another "Taj-mahal" for you, do you think if he doesnt do anything of these, then again you can file for cheating? Answer is unequivocal NO.

Also, had he hide his identity or about his marriage, then certainly he could have been said to have cheated you. He told you everything and finally when there is pressure from his wife, he wants peace. You think if this was your position, that your husband was presurrizing and threatening you, what would you do? Being woman in such cases is easier as there is no punishment for a woman in law, but being man is difficult as he can go to jail.

If he promised you many things, you might also have promised to take care of his interests and betterment. Do you want him to go to jail but keep a relation with you? If you want so, file a case of cheating. This would be the ned of love in both of your lives forever.

//peace

/Saurabh..V

all these promises were not done in a weak moment, it took a long time , and our relationship is about 1.6 years old.  thanks for your advises, i dont intend to lodge any complaint against him..  as he has small kids and a many people are depending on him... will think about them atleast before lodging any complaint against him.  but i am annoyed just because he is in tension with his wife, he should not betray my trust....  he can always solve this... that was my thinking , he can always solve the issue and be there for both of us... 

but at the end i can always file a case against him... in court.... for cheating me in luv....

shall i consider this as the summary........

@ author

how can you believe a person who inspite of having own wife and kids falls into love with another woman?Doing that he was betraying own blood.Then what else other people can expect from him?He made you fool.It will be more foolish act from your part if you keep indulging yourself with him.

You told your husband knew about your affair, then he never imposed any restrictions on you?STRANGE!!!

He must be having affair with some one else.!!

Forget him and try to be loyal to your husband because your son if comes to know about that will not respect you  or you won't be able control your son in future.

tit for tat is applicable  your husband can do same against you too. un fotumatly you cant do anything against him.

@ Author

1. It is adultery that's what you did.
2. It is bigamy that's what he did.
3. It was something which after 1.6 years ended in 'cohabitation' that also in overseas soils. Cause of action is weak here !
4. Both have children of varying age group.
5. Both are respectively still married to their respective spouses.
6. With any stretch of Indian context marital or evolving in India social trend referred to as live-in or time pass of either gender or even emotional shoulder sharing respectively or for any kind of self created "afterthought" grounds; Law is not going to be on your side for long time if either spouse comes to know of any legal case being filed by your first strike as in mid summer desperation (read here as frustration) way; because Indian Judiciary and or Indian society still publicly does not accept such relationship so openly.
7. Knowledge of either spouse knowing of either spouse such activity is very tough to prove hence in this brief "one spouse adjusted to waywardness of his spouse" and yet another spouse "when felt threatened of that other element (you) in her territory" gave warning to her spouse and accordingly your second man retracted his amorous activities which itself is a healthy sign (hint) to grasp (understand) and retract by you instead of finding 'legal ingredients' of “cheating” which can be established in this case but with larger price to pay as at the end you will still not get this second man all to yourself as ‘social prestige’ is always protected by married Indian men and women alike more than briefs stated ‘economics of arrangements’ activities!


Hence, give time / space if such amorous relationship have to revive, it will rekindle your old flames interest in you with time and he may rejoin you and if not then with time / space either you will come to terms of your 1.6 years good times and forget all about it instead of being cross about it now and start a fresj journey and or just think selflessly what you are going to pass on to your child as motherly example if you are hell bent to file any case on a married man while you are still being married to another man now?

What you as a Indian married women did within existing marriage framework is more socially and morally in Indian context wrong than what he being Indian married man for a simple reason unless there is a ‘available’ fire there cannot be all blame put on its smoke whereas “fire” is matter of concern is it not ???

yes, what u said is also true.... have decided to give him space, let him come out of it... i will wait for me.. i donot want to take any legal action on him... as i know trust is the only glue  in any relationship.

thanks for all your advises

 @ Author

Thank you,

"trust is the only glue in any relationship"

Hope it is not your copyright J

May I use it in my regular postings with your permission as I found it quite self meaningful quote.