Complicated case - need views

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That is what I told her.  You cannot live together.  Better go for divorce. She might have learnt her lesson now, but no use now.

alright one thing if going to divorce is the only solution means every second house lady will have to apply for such type of situation

1.why not she go and stay with her mother in law and do job because once she had already done job and after leaving the job some harassment started

2. if not after divorce she has to do job for leaving she cannot hang on her parents house why not now

3. why because she has some time spending outside home and leave alll the tensions and happy she can work 

4. about her mil it is her husband has to change not she who is being facing harassment from the mil so if she stays with her mil and have children with her side and salary to her husband will give her husband more confidence 

Originally posted by : k . mahesh
	alright one thing if going to divorce is the only solution means every second house lady will have to apply for such type of situation 1.why not she go and stay with her mother in law and do job because once she had already done job and after leaving the job some harassment started 2. if not after divorce she has to do job for leaving she cannot hang on her parents house why not now 3. why because she has some time spending outside home and leave alll the tensions and happy she can work  4. about her mil it is her husband has to change not she who is being facing harassment from the mil so if she stays with her mil and have children with her side and salary to her husband will give her husband more confidence

Agreed with you.

Jeene ke sau tarikey, par na bolne bas ek bahana chahiye.

Have explained all options to her, if she wants her marriage to be alive.  But who mother in law or husband wll tolerate wife working late night as PA to the boss ?

If one is himself or herself not able to make little adjustments with anything, forget marriage, its very difficult to maintain any relationship.

Thank you so very much Mr Mahesh.  

[Querist] :

My final take on your case would be as follows:

1.  Change your job from that of PA job for a reasonable day time job.

2.  Leave the current place, find a new place near to your MIL's house, as travelling from one place to another itself is time consuming and takes a lot of money too given petrol rates, for your husband.

3.  Regarding your financial woes, best that you earn more, how to do it, you know better.  Its better to earn more than to roam court halls asking for maintenance.

4.  Try changing your attitude about MIL, your husband and think as a family, if you cannot afford a new place to reside, then better go and stay wtih MIL and hubby.  Treat everyone as your own, dont go live there like you are staying in a lodge.  Be of help to both of them and see how they start loving you.  You cannot ever behave as if you are in a lodge and your husband and your MIL are your servants.  IF you do not think them as your own especially the MIL, then whatever she tells will look like torture to you.

5.  You better stop the idea of consuming sleeping pills and threatening your MIL and husband.  Do it one more time and you will lose all credibility forever and ever.  Nobody will trust you.  Even if you end up getting divorce, nobody would want to marry you again, keeping your past record of suicidal tendencies and threatening attitude of consuming sleeping pills to commit suicide.  I do strongly feel you need psychiatric help, dying is not the final way out.  Commiting suicide losers do.  Living life against all odds is the only way out.

All options explained to you.  Divorce, your wish.  Continuing with marriage, winning back confidence of husband and MIL, your wish and your take.

Good luck. 

Dear Helping Hand,

This is not a complicated case.  The original posts of you indicates that there is dowry demand and domestic violence. The strict draconian laws (which are otherwise misused) are enacted to protect such like women only.

Such like MIL and her son are likely to improve after visiting CAW, or then visiting Police station, or by remaining in Jail.  If she does not improve till then the matter is worth following criminal case and divorce.

Changing a job or changing place of job is not an option and atleast not easy option. Even that option may not work when MIL just wants salary and she is not likely to be happy if the salary is lesser than earlier job.  This will complicate the matter further. This forum should not advise any victim to stumble to the unreasonable or illegal demand.

I really look forward to a case where police 498A are involved jailed and then family gets reconciled after realizing mistake.Did you see them..? how many ..? what %

I do not agree with Sudhir jii.....Dragging them to courts & police, it never improve anyone.....it actually worsens the situations....
If she want to try this she shall try and see the results....
Only pacifying talks can help but when girl is adamant, then nothing can be pursued...better to part ways.

Originally posted by : Sudhir Kumar
	Dear Helping Hand,   This is not a complicated case.    How come sir, you are teriming this as not a complicated case? Wife has got suicidal tendencies, she is threatening husband that if he goes to his mothers place, then she will commit suicide?  She has already attempted act of suicide by consuming sleeping pills.  She was working as a PA for a company and used to work late nights.  When salary of husband is not so good what is wrong in wife sharing some expenditure of the house, such things should come voluntarily than asked.  One cannot just stay like a guest in a house, in a house lot of responsiblities will be there, sharing work, caring for each other all that will be there, simply getting up and going in the morning and coming late in midnight only on the pretext of earning money does not give power to a DIL or wife to rule the MIL.  Agreed that in eyes of law asking money from DIL amounts to asking dowry.  But such a situation arose and when the DIL did not listen either to husband not to MIL, MIL has made and given separate accomodation to the husband and wife and kid.  That was almost 4-5 years back.  Now that the MIL is old, is it a crime that the son visits his mother?  Is it a crime on part of the son to give support to old aged mother who is 70 years of age? The original posts of you indicates that there is dowry demand and domestic violence. The strict draconian laws (which are otherwise misused) are enacted to protect such like women only. How will the law protect this woman?  When the woman in question has plans to attempt suicide so that she can frame false case agasint husband and the MIL???  This woman has got criminal intentions.  How on earth will the 498a or DV laws protect this woman?  This woman has tried all tricks so that the husband should not go meet his mother.  When everything has failed, she tried the last option of sleeping pills.  When that too did not work, she is planning to do the same act one more time so that she can punish her MIL and husband.   After knowing that such false cases if filed will be of no use.  She wants her husband back saying that she has repented for her behavior. In all this is there really any use going to CAW cell?  In marriage, love affection caring turst should be there, not police, CAW cell.  If such is the situation that no trust or love or affection or caring ceases to exist, then its better to call of the marriage. The modern era has taught today's woman only one thing, if any problem is there between husband and her, or her and the MIL, best place to complain about such thing is police station.  Sir, police station is a place where theives, burglars, 420s are seen.  Its a shame that the parents of such women are not in a position to make their daughter understand the values what they had got from their parents.  In our times who went to police station? only advocates or as explained above people who were found on the other side of law.   Such like MIL and her son are likely to improve after visiting CAW, or then visiting Police station, or by remaining in Jail.  If she does not improve till then the matter is worth following criminal case and divorce. Once MIL and son go to CAW cell, thats is the beginning of the end of marriage.  If each person were to follow your kind of advice, each family would have been seen in a CAW cell.   Changing a job or changing place of job is not an option and atleast not easy option. Even that option may not work when MIL just wants salary and she is not likely to be happy if the salary is lesser than earlier job.  This will complicate the matter further. This forum should not advise any victim to stumble to the unreasonable or illegal demand. If saving marriage is the only motive, then its better to change the job/move nearby to MIL's place.  Which of course many of us would agree as best option.  Its better to  be nearby than to say final tata bye bye.

When I heard from the querist, my MIL ask me salary, my MIL torture me, my MIL like this, my MIL like that.  In two sentences I could also have told what you just told.  Directly go to CAW cell, ask for mediation, if your husband turns up fine.  If he does not turn up, then file cases first under 498a on all of them, including distant relatives, and then later on say 1month later, you file PWDVA 2005 case on them in the same way that of 498a.  Then see magic happen. Your MIL will come and fall to your feet.  They will tie a chain to your husbands neck and hand him over to you.  Then you can aaramse do anything you want, no need of attempting to suicide also, rather your MIL will be interested in trying to commit suicide.  Your MIL will think 10 times just to breathe when you are around.

Go go go, file case.  GO.

the way you want the treatment to save a married life is very helpful for the forum and also the persons who want to save there married life in some way with the help our forum

after taking the views and also your views you had made this case very easy to solve with the help our own experts and solved the problem 

may we think the better half of the lady is happy following the advice