A little back ground about my case . I live in USA (work permit) and my parents in India. I got married on Jan 2013 and took my wife along with me to USA. She lived with me till September 2013. From day 1 for every trivial disagreements she always said she wants to go back to India and keep pestering all the time.I thought as we get to know more of each other , it will be alright and never discussed our issues, which I thought trivial, to any my friends or family. She cooked rarely and always prefers to eat out. Initially i thought she will need some time to adapt to the new place but even after few months it was the same story. So I told her take some responsibilities in running the house and managing the finance (she was on H-4 and not working). Then out of nowhere she says that she will also go to job and so she does not have to cook. I explained to her that she cannot work on H-4 and we got to find a employer to file a H-1 first, but she thought I was lying and cheating. When things got out of my hand I called her parents to give her some advice. Instead of advising her, her parents asked me to hire a servant the reason being she is educated and never been to the kitchen in her whole life. Though I was frustrated , I told them hiring a servant is not feasible and not easy in the US lifestyle. What is more frustrating was that my wife and her parents was not super rich or had servants in their house, they are just the normal upper middle class family as ours. Another person from my wife's side who talked some sense requested me to send her to India so that he can provide some counselling in person as she was not listening to anyone over the phone. I asked one of them to visit USA so they can know the cultural difference and things are not same as in India.They were not keen to travel and due to visa processing and other things , I agreed to send her to India. But after going back to India, my wife never responded to my emails or phone calls. Even her parents or her relatives, none responded to my calls. When I had my parents contact them to know what is going on, out of nowhere they threatened us that they will file a dowry harassment case if we try to reach them and abused with unparliamentary words accusing me of torturing her while in the US. Well, there were misunderstanding when she was in USA but i never tortured her. I have umpteen number of photos from places we visited in USA every week end to show that she was not kept captive at home and tortured. I want to make a note that my family or I never demanded dowry before or after the marriage and moreover she did not even bring a penny or a gram of gold to our house from her house. Only thing they spent was on wedding arrangements and that too the expenses were shared equally. As our hands were clean , I did not budge to them and said if they drag me down then I will file a defamation case and will fight till the justice is served. Until then I had no idea about the 498-A and then came to know through a friend of mine. After learning how partial that law is to women, I asked my parents to stay away from them and wait for few months for things to cool down. These things happened in the months of Oct- December 2013.
Just two days back my uncle received a registered post which was later found to be a court summon for my appearance as my wife asked for a divorce based on cruelty and asked to appear before court on Mar 3rd.. We never expected this and my parents are shattered and I feel terrible. My parents are not educated and did not know what to do, after all a normal parent who lives in rural India will not expect this that too within a year into marriage.As I am in USA, I asked my friend to find a good lawyer to discuss how to move forward.
In the mean time I did some research on internet and found that I can contest the notice and my wife has to prove that I tortured her. I am damn sure she can prove nothing as I never mistreated her except for few heated arguments, i am not sure if these things will come under cruelty. I want to contest and teach them a lesson but it seems the case will run for longer time. The more I think about my wife who brought me into this situation to intentionally spoil my reputation I really don't want to live with her any more. I also found there seems to be option some thing called ex-parte if I do not contest and can come out of this mess sooner. As I am in USA I do not know what are my options now. At this time I just want focus on two things : 1. I don't want her back in my life and 2. I do not want her to take my hard earned money in the name of alimony. I will be discussing these things with the lawyer next week, before that I thought of getting some advice from the people who may have witnessed/experienced this situation. Below are few of my questions:
1. Knowing my back ground , what is the better option contest or ex-parte? Is there any consequences for ex-parte divorce procedure?
2. If the divorce is granted based on exparte to my wife, will the divorce certificate say who was at fault? Will this have any consequence on my future life? Will the court send me a divorce certificate?
3.The court issued a summon that was addressed to me but was sent to my parent's place in India. In the absence of my parents it was received by my uncle who was a neighbour. Does the court consider this as the notice been served? Can the letter be returned back as it was my uncle who received it and not my parents (unfortunately my uncle opened the letter already)?
4. I live in USA and my wife very well knows my address in USA as she lived with me here for several months. Does not the court summon be sent to my address in USA and not in India?
5.From what I heard from my friend, the summon/notice that my uncle received was for only divorce and there is no mention of any claim of alimony, in this case if I don't show up at the court and If the case proceed has an ex parte , can the judgement be passed for maintenance as well or only for divorce?
6. If the judgement is just passed for the divorce, can my wife come back at a later stage and ask for alimony through court? If so , what are my options to refuse paying the alimony?
7. In the alimony perspective, if the court issues the ex-parte divorce is that a disadvantage to me? Will that establish me as the one who performed the act of cruelty and have no say on the alimony or will I be given a chance to defend alimony case even if the divorce is granted ex-parte?
Please share your inputs. Thank you.
