Shalini (Senior) 08 September 2014

Harassment by husband and in laws

I am aprofessionaly qualified working women married to a govt servant from last 2 years.we are working in 2 diffrent cities.since the beginning my husband kept threatening me and father that he wil divorce me if for small small issues b/w us i donot call up and apologise.according to him and his family my family has no rite to interfere even if they ill behave with me.real trouble started when i concieved a year back since my job is in my parental city we decided that delivery will be in my parental place.but immediately my husband backed off and my in laws and my husband stated pressuring me that delivery should be in their home.for the same reason he started abusing me and my family and would stop all telephonic commnications for almost fortnight till i would call up my in laws and pacify them.he told me get abortion done also twice or thrice.my in laws kept pressurising me to leave my job and join either my husband or stay with them till delivery.i kept pleading to them that please stop doing this.due to stress i had bleeding and was put on bedrest and my sugar levels increased but this continued.about 2 week prior to my due date my husband again sarted argument asking for my salary slips and my investments.since i am financially independent my husband has not spent even a singe penny on me i was taking care of all my expenses but i have contributed 2.5lakh in our home.near my due date baby life was in danger so i had to undergo emergency surgery when i called him he didnt pick up even texted him but no reply .my father called up my motjer in law her phone kept coming busy finally my father in law could be contacted.they all turned up stayed for 2 days created a big scene and left.my father paid the bills.my husband abandoned me 3days after delivery when i called him he abused me and said that our marriage was over bcoz delivery was conducted at my parental place and hospital bill was too much this is when he didnt pay anything.again he brought the conditiomn that i should call up in laws and apologise i shld keep baby in their feet and apologise.when i didnt do it he saryed sending me abusive mails saying that he doubted paternity of child and that i was having illicit relationship with my father.despite telling pleading to him again and again to normalise things he kept pressuring me to send salary slips and investment details to him and milaw.he called up my relatives and insulted me and father by saying derogratory remarks.when finally i cldnt take it anymore and threatend them with legal action they again called up noth my in lwas scolded me for my behavour and said i should fall in f i law feet and apologise.for two days husband spoke to me nicely but again the same condition was put that i call up in lawz and apologise then only he will normalise and that he will never come to fetch me i will have to come on my own.from last 4months i am bringing up my baby singlehandedly with no mental physical and financial support.if my family was not there we would have been on road and on verge of suicide on being harassed so much at such juncture of my life when i underwent life threatening surgery to have our child when all i needed was love and care.please advice wat can be done legally for this attack on my dignity and mental harrasment.

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11 Replies

Hardeep (Business) 08 September 2014

1) Save all the evidences - texts, e-mails , all you can recall

2) Depending upon what you want - a reconciliation or a separation, consult a lawyer accordingly... Grounds of cruelty are made out.

Happily Divorced (TL) 09 September 2014

Your husband seems to be an idiot. Legal action should be thoroughly thought because a kid is born out of wedlock/deadlock. First take some rest and come out of the trauma. He is simply an insect, he cannot do anything to you. You please take care of yourself.

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Dr J C Vashista (Advocate) 09 September 2014

Avoid legal action and find out some amicable settlement by engaging some relatives, friends, acquitances or mediatior/counsellor.

498_final stage (Professional) 09 September 2014

I agree with Dr Vashishta. You seems to be a genuine woman but you know what, women have made life hell for other women like you.

There are so many false cases pending that genuine case like yours would also be put into scrutiny.

So get rid of such an mentally sick husband. First save your life and then think of giving life to other.

All the best.!!

Adv k . mahesh (advocate) 09 September 2014

its only 4 months first take full rest and after recover from your health and taking care of your kid

in mean while just be in touch with your husband and do not talk about going to in laws house just enquire about his health and that all and after six months if you find the same behavior you go to there house and stay and see the behavior because it is your house and you have every right to stay there and convince your husband

because this is not the right time talking of legal course because you have to see your kid and also you have to stabilise your job if possible transfer to your in laws place

if the same behavior continue then think of involving any third person of there relative to solve the issue or finally we are here if you want legal course

gautam (not disclosed) 09 September 2014

The gender biased laws are making men more careful then necessary and in case they see a relationship getting through a rough patch, they try to collect evidence to save themselves later. This further destroys the relationship.

Any relative/well wishers gone through the experience of gender biased laws will always advise to be careful.

Gender biased laws are destroying some very normal relationship.

Marriage is very difficult to succeed when spouses are working in two different cities.

Shalini (Senior) 09 September 2014

Thanks all.want this relationship to work out.i beleive in the sanctity of marriage.may be should give some more time.may be my husband will realise.basically its my mother in law pulling strings from behind the curtain despite me being cordial to her.i respect them a lot and has never asked my husband to leave them.i consider them like my own parents but still they are ruining my family life.

Jimmy (Manager) 10 September 2014

Very oft-repeated situation. SUch situations usually end in divorce or a very unhappy married life. Choose which one you want NOW and pursue that option.

Dr J C Vashista (Advocate) 10 September 2014

@ Shalini,

1. You are married to your husband, keep him in confidence.

2. However, donot forget that he is the beloved son of your mother-in-law and she has preferential right on him.

3. You are required to be intelligent/diplomatic enough for balancing both sides i.e., MIL vis-a-vis yourself so that your husband may not feel suffocated, harassed and tense.

Biswanath Roy (Advocate) 10 September 2014

When you are earning and in good pecuniary position you need not to be worried for. Don't tolerate any brute behaviour. Stay separately and peacefully without bow down your head to the inhuman behavior Neither call your husband and talk to him over phone nor knock the door of your in laws, Keep silence for at least 6 months and see the development of the situation if any..Don't proceed to take any legal action now.

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate) 13 September 2014

I fully agree to the advise rendered by senior learned counsel Mr. Biswanath Roy sir. It is not that you have receive everything always lying low, it is time to wake up. But never do the mistake of taking the help of law because it will ruin your married life once and for ever and the chances of salvaging it in the future will be destroyed. Just ignore him as well as the in laws comments or attitude towards you, they will certainly realise one day in the near future atleast considering the infant heir of their family, then you can silently join them and resume your marital voyage without raising any issue about the bitter incidences of the past.