Rcr case

Ritu...

You have not mentioned what you want out of this relationship?

Do you want to live with your husband or leave him? 

If you want to live with him, you can just go to your husband's house, reconcile and ask your husband to withdraw RCR.

If you want to live gracefully and happily with your husband, you have to give absolute love and trust to him.

If you have lost trust and love on your husband and If you want to leave him, do you want money from him?

If so, file a maintenance case. But as you are working, you will get limited or no maintenace.

If you have children, please do not go to courts.

You have to live with your husband to honour your child's rights.

Dear Prasad,

 

Thank you for your reply !!  I am sorry to have not mention it , I am willing to join my husband's company but the conditions he has put are highly inhuman and will finally lead to conflicts and arguments again in future .

I understand my duties are way more than that of a husband in our society , I am willing to perform my duties but just expecting the same from my husband !!

Kindly throw some light on the mediation process, as everytime my family , relatives and friends has tried to make situation better , they all failed !! Is everything has to be decided just in one mediation or it is a series again that follows !!

I dont want to misuse any law nor do I want to speak a single lie , but I want atleast the truth to come out and things to settle down !!

What is the best way to put my problems before the judge !!

 

 

 

Ritu... Mediation process does not have any legal value but just an attempt by court before accepting a case. The mediation will happen for about 1 to 2 hours for 3 times for one day every week or few days. Use the opportunity to talk your mind to your husband and get counsellor's help as well. The better option would be to talk to him in either of your houses or in a common plesant place. Money should never come in your talk or otherwise the reconciliation will be ruined.

Let the mediation process be over.The mediation report has to be submitted to the court.Then depending on the report U can act.Don't take any hasty step at this moment.UR  husband's conditions U mentioned may not be accepted by the mediators too.

Best way is talk to husband and ask him to take u back, if possible talk to your inlaws also and ask the same, matter already is in court, your heart is also broke now, his already broke and he went to court, not only chance is talk outside of court, in court re-joining wont happen, only divorce happen.

 

Hope you got this point clear, mediation etc is legal process, people sitting in court are not your well wishers but are paid government employees waiting for month end salary, they dont really care about your welfare nor your husbands welfare, they just pronounce some order in accordance with law which might be discretionary also depending on merits of the case.

 

So go talk in person to husband, leave aside ego, and settle with husband and his circumstances, this husband has this problem, new husband if you want to remarry will come with new set of problems, better to adjust with old husband only !  as far as  beating goes, try and control your actions which irriate him, beatings are no way to resolve things, this need to be clearly told to him going ahead.

 

All the best.

Thank you Gyan Sir , I compeletly agree with what you say !!

If I failed to make it clear , me and my family are in no favor for separation , but the conditions are made this way that he doesnt keep the atmosphere healthy and worth living !!

I am not looking for any new partner , nor do I see myself settling with any another guy in future !!

As far as ego is concerned , My parents have attempted on several occasions to sort out things but they want me to discontinue any contact with my family for lifetime and expect me to love and care for them .

Everytime I decided to quit job , he comes up with an excuse that he will let me work as my salary too contributes to betterment of OUR family .

He wants both the doors open for himself .. Me accepting his inhuman terms and return back so that no one question him on his whereabouts and If I tell the court that I am facing problem , he will directly file for divorce ( his only desire ) . Both ways he gets what he wants .. His dominance and freedom by supressing even my basic human rights .

My concern is If I accept his condition to quit work , he never took care of even my medical aid , how will he take care of my basic need when I am not ven contributing to his expenses on me !!

He excludes my family , hence I cant even seek any help from them , Ifat all  they intervene , he says you better take your daughter and dissolve this marriage !!

 

 

Originally posted by : Ritu@3573
	Thank you Gyan Sir , I compeletly agree with what you say !! If I failed to make it clear , me and my family are in no favor for separation , but the conditions are made this way that he doesnt keep the atmosphere healthy and worth living !! I am not looking for any new partner , nor do I see myself settling with any another guy in future !! As far as ego is concerned , My parents have attempted on several occasions to sort out things but they want me to discontinue any contact with my family for lifetime and expect me to love and care for them . Everytime I decided to quit job , he comes up with an excuse that he will let me work as my salary too contributes to betterment of OUR family . He wants both the doors open for himself .. Me accepting his inhuman terms and return back so that no one question him on his whereabouts and If I tell the court that I am facing problem , he will directly file for divorce ( his only desire ) . Both ways he gets what he wants .. His dominance and freedom by supressing even my basic human rights . My concern is If I accept his condition to quit work , he never took care of even my medical aid , how will he take care of my basic need when I am not ven contributing to his expenses on me !! He excludes my family , hence I cant even seek any help from them , Ifat all  they intervene , he says you better take your daughter and dissolve this marriage !!

Going like this, better to secure yourself with a good job which pays good money for sake of your own future and for dotters future.  30-55 years aste life andre, aamele yaar kelthaare, live life of dignity rather than live life like beggar whre there is no respect from this man.

 

Understanding should be mutual dear.  Not one way.  It should be both ways.  You have tried your best, now it is up to him, no point in bending further, think about your financial safety and your dotters safety, earn money, save money for sake of kid and yourself, live life with dignity.  Prayers and best wishes.

Dear Ritu, From your postings, it is clear that you want the marriage to continue. In mediation, please put up a condition that you and your husband should live alone, away from his and your family members, with minimal contact with either side for 1-2 years so that both of you can understand and start loving and respecting each other. You allowed him to have his way by being too dutiful and serving, that is why he is now treating you this way. Call him for a dinner, a day out or picnic or go to movie or something in which he or better both of you have interest. He cannot divorce you if you do not want. For RCR, you tell the Family Court that you are willing to go back to him provided he lives in a rented. Flat.