Ongoing divorce + becoming single dad

You can go for adoption, that is much safer bet.  But if you have made up your mind for surrogacy, then go ahead with it.   No legal problems with it, many women do it while going through divorce and you can also do, either locally here in India, or you can get it done abroad.  This will have no bearing on the ongoing DV case or the 498a or the alimony case, it might affect the alimony case if you have told the court that you dont have sources of income, and go for surrogacy which is costly affair.  However, written permission from wife is needed, to go for surrogacy or other means, same holds good  vice versa, but nobody follows all this, they simply do it and then face if consequnces occur in the future.  If you want to go ahead, go ahead, dont think too much.

 

I suggest you go for adoption, you will be giving life to a child which has no parents.

Thanks a lot for the answer.

Just forgot to mention, wife is highly educated, drawing 6-figure monthly salary in India and working. So isn't maintenance and alimony unlikely ? I think it will increase my financial liability after having a child. Wife can very easily take care of her own and she already is, .. working in top management position and enjoying life.

 

Are there other legal concern ? Specially, do I need wife's permission for surrogacy agreement ?

 

Surrogacy is cosyly ? Yes true. But for a man in desparate need of a child, is it more costly than bringing a woman in his life and bear her lifelong expenditure ? I don't think so. This is not a lifestyle I'm talking about, like which standard hotel I stay etc. It is the single most important part of one's life and once in lifetime affair. In USA it is very costly indeed and it will take my several years saving, still I am okay with it.

----------------------------------------
About the question whether to adopt or have one's own child is more personal choice - many people strictly feel about blood legacy / inheritance. I also feel to some extent, but I am also open to adopting, but there are certain hassles involved specially for NRI man.
- Taking the child away outside India afer adoption.
- Convince that I am not a child molester. Single man that too faced charges of domestic violence - nobody treats him well, giving the responsibility of a child is far out of question.
I approached two adoption clinic, but I was mostly turned down. One insisted for wife's consent. Even in USA they are very skeptical, and insist for "complete" family.

 

I'm seriously planning to take year-long leave from work for parenthood, investing on a adopted child which have chance to be taken away from me sounds risky. So for now I focus on my own blood (read gene) child. In future when the litigations are over and I choose for a second child, I might think od adoption. Also in case I  re-marry in distant future, I'd be happy to adopt the woman's own child(ren).

The law is not very well settled. Read baby manji's case (baby manji yamada vs union of India). there though the wife had consented during surrogation most likely, later the couple had split before birth. The ART bill has not seen the light of the day. Howsoever noble your intentions may be, your plan is very ambitious and let me tell you that you have an uphill battle to climb even with IVF clinics who will always want to "play it safe". As you rightly mentioned you will always be seen with suspicion, so best option for you is to find a girl and get married once you are out of the current mess.

I read the Baby Manji case - most of the controversy was related to the nationality of the child, and the parent were foreigners. I have been reading such news, the law mostly prohibits fereign nationals (single, gay etc.). In one case an Australian couple left a child in India as it was a special-need child. These are very sad stories. These foreigners come India only for gestational carrier (who bears the baby) is cheap, but they get their embryo outside (sperm + egg which controls the gene), I also personally dont like this picture of India portrayed as destination for cheap "womb-on-rent".

 

But I also see the IVF clinics website clearly mention that *INDIAN* single parents can go for surrogacy, only foreign singles cannot. I am Indian citizen. Have you come across any material suggesting anything against single Indian man ? I hope single also includes divorcee / awaiting divorce.

 

I agree this is a slightly grey area of law. I will have to spend more time finding the legal details before making any plan. I am not te first one to do it, as there are several examples. But surely it's unconventional and ambitious one.
------------------------------------------------
Once the mess is over I might re-marry in future in later life, but I don't want the child-birth to wait for it. I feel lucky that no child was born in my first marriage, else what would happen to the poor soul. If wife turn rouge, she can run with the child and husband pays for child whom he has hardly any access. I don't wanna risk it again, and more importantly, To re-marry in a hurry for having a child, and for that get rid of ongoing divorce cases at cost of heavy compromise - I don't want to walk that path. I can wait till late 40s for re-marriage but not for child-birth.

in baby manji case, SC observed that the intended male may be a single male or a male homos*xual couple (second part doesn't apply to you). Mind you this is observation of SC on customs and not a ratio decidendi. As such you may not enjoy the "single" status just yet. during marriage (includes separation) one cannot imagine either spouse bearing a child without consent of the other. Still, i would recommend you go to a very able lawyer in your city for a written and guided opinion before you venture into this.