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Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech.] (Scientist/Engineer)     02 July 2017

What can this husband do?

A person known to me is a taxi driver in Mumbai. I know him personally and he is well-behaved. He is 47 years old. His wife is about 44 years. Their marriage was an arranged marriage within caste. They are traditionally vegetarians. The wife works as a compounder assisting a doctor. They have two daughters. The elder one is more than 20 years of age. She works in a bank. She is not married. The younger one is studying 10th standard or so. The house was purchased by the father-in-law of the driver in the name of his (driver’s) wife. The relationship between husband and wife is not good for years. One of the complaints of the husband is that the wife is cooking non-vegetarian food in the kitchen. All vegetarians know that vegetarians have a psychological detest for non-vegetarian food. Now the wife wants the husband to go out of the flat. In the quarrel between husband and wife, the girls are siding with their mother. Now my questions are (1) has the husband got a right to stay in the house? (2) can the husband insist that non-vegetarian food is not cooked in the house? (3) Is it possible that the wife or daughters take action the driver under IPC-498A or DVA? (4) What can the husband do to get his rights? (5) What can he do to prevent any action by his wife or daughters?  I have given here all that I know. I have never met the wife or daughters. If there are any further genuine serious questions, which members have, I can ask him.



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 17 Replies

Samarpan (M)99958670740 (Free legal advice and legal aid cell)     02 July 2017

(1) has the husband got a right to stay in the house?

If he doesn't object for cooking non-vegetarian food, he can claim a right to stay there.  Otherwise not.

(2) can the husband insist that non-vegetarian food is not cooked in the house?

No.

(3) Is it possible that the wife or daughters take action the driver under IPC-498A or DVA?

No. Under 498-A legally no, as he has not harassed them for dowry.  But a false case can be filed.  So long he does not use verbal, physical, psychological and economic abue, they are not entitled to file DVA against him, unless they bent upon to file a false case.

(4) What can the husband do to get his rights? (5) What can he do to prevent any action by his wife or daughters?

He can seek divorce on the ground of mental cruelty.  There is no preventive action.   He can file a NC report in the police station, but that does not effectively prevent any legal action they may take against him.  If he faces cases filed by them,  he has to fight them on merits.

Better for him to take a single room separately and visit them occasionally so that to spend the remainig life peacefully.

Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech.] (Scientist/Engineer)     02 July 2017

Please do not connect my questions (1) and (2). They are separate independent questions. If he does not object to non-vegetarian cooking can he claim right to stay in the court?  How can he legally claim the right? Can he go to court to claim his right?  A wife cannot be driven out of the matrimonial house. If she is made to go out, the husband has to give her alternative accommodation. Is there a law to make such a claim. As for his taking a single accommodation, that exactly  is what his wife wants. He has been staying in a decent flat for 20 years. His income may be around Rs.10,000/- per month (my guess). He cannot afford a decent accommodation with that much income. I know many taxi drivers in Mumbai and how precarious is their life.

BRIJ MOHAN   02 July 2017

THE TAXI DRIVER CAN NOT DO ANYTHING HIS LIFE IS LIKE A DOG  THE WIFE CAN LODGE FIR AT ANY MOMENT SINCE THE FLAT IS IN THE NAME OF WIFE  NEIGHBOURS WILL ALSO NOT HELP HIM LIKE WITNESS ITS   BUT WIFE HAS TWO READYMADE WITNESS INTHE HOUSE (DAUGHTERS )  POOR MAN DOES NOT HAVE ANY RIGHT POVERTY SNATCH ALL RIGHTS  IN INDIA SPECIALLY FROM A MEN HE HAS ONLY SUFFERINGS  IN LIFE HE SHOULD TRY TO ADJUST HIS LIFE AS PER WIFE WILL OTHERWISE FOOTPATH IS WAITING FOR HIM POOR WOMAN CAN CURSE HER HUSBAND BUT POOR HUSBAND  CAN NOT CURSE ANYONE EXCEPT DESTINY  CORRUPT INDIAN JUDICIARY IS VERY MUCH IN FAVOUR OF A WOMAN 

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Ms. Usha Hegde (CEO)     02 July 2017

Originally posted by : Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech]
Please do not connect my questions (1) and (2). They are separate independent questions. If he does not object to non-vegetarian cooking can he claim right to stay in the court?  How can he legally claim the right? Can he go to court to claim his right?  A wife cannot be driven out of the matrimonial house. If she is made to go out, the husband has to give her alternative accommodation. Is there a law to make such a claim. As for his taking a single accommodation, that exactly  is what his wife wants. He has been staying in a decent flat for 20 years. His income may be around Rs.10,000/- per month (my guess). He cannot afford a decent accommodation with that much income. I know many taxi drivers in Mumbai and how precarious is their life.

 

What are most striking things here are.

  1. You don’t have any work.
  2. The man does not have any balls to mend his wife.
  3. The man should not have let the father in law gift the house to the daughter (wife).
  4. It is as if father in law purchased the husband and gave it to his daughter.
  5. When economically man is weak, he is bound to listen to the financially stronger wife who has a flat in her name.
  6. If that is the case, she will have upper hand in each and every decision.
  7. In marriage people should adjust.
  8. The man has adjusted for more than 20 years with this woman.   Assuming that he married her by 30, he has already put in 20.  He must be 50 now.
  9. You have stated 47.  That makes my guess almost correct.
  10. The man has kept quiet too long to complain now.
  11. If he has all these things to complain, he should have applied for divorce long back.
  12. By now court would have granted him divorce one way or the other.
  13. Murders do happen and Indian jails are not good places to go.
  14. Adjustment is best policy.  If cant adjust take divorce.  
  15. Once pushed into corner even a rubber ball develops some resistance and tries to push back.  Hope meaning is conveyed.
  16. If you can, contribute paltry sum of money towards his expenses, if you so really care about solving his problem.

Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech.] (Scientist/Engineer)     03 July 2017

Ms. Usha Hegde, CEO

"You don’t have any work."

What does madam want to say?  I don't have any work. She can go to my profile and find out what work I have. I don't leave my profile blank. Rest of post is not in decent language either. I do not respond to such letters. Perfect Solutions commends her. Hence I need not respond to his post either.

I know the taxi driver because he is a friend of my own driver. I will not engage a driver and pay him salary if I have no work to do. I only try to make use of my access to this Forum to help people in distress, if I  get good suggestions from here. There will be lawyers, marriage counsellors and others here who would have successfully  handled family disputes. "It is the busiesr man who has time to spare". Northkote Parkinson.

Siddharth Srivastava (Advocate)     03 July 2017

First of all have guts to come openly instead of taking shelter of name of other person to state your problem. No stranger shall have such a deep knowledge. You can file suit for injunction against your wife on the basis of fiduciary relation so that she may not through you out of the house. Your wife can file complaint case u/s. 498A IPC and Domestic Violance Act but daught have no right to file said case but they can implicate you in other criminal cases like criminal intimidation etc. and they can also claim maintenance fron you. Go stratigically and consult a lawyer with details.

Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech.] (Scientist/Engineer)     03 July 2017

Dear Shri Sidharth Srivastav:  I am amused to see your statement. Did you visit my profile? Do you think I am myself the person? Can't you see I am well beyond the age of having these problems?  Have respect for other members here. Perhaps you were not born when I retired.

BRIJ MOHAN   03 July 2017

DAUGHTER WILL BECOME WITNESS IN 498A CASE

BRIJ MOHAN   03 July 2017

I MET WITH SAME PROBLEM FIRST MY WIFE KICKED ME OUT OF HER HOUSE THEN TOLD ME TO TAKE DIVORCE ON MUTUAL BASIS ON MY REFUSAL 498A CASE WAS REGITERED(AFTR 13 YEAR OF MARRIAGE )   06 YEARS OF LEGAL NONSENSE I WAS AQUITTED BY THE COURT NOT BECAUSE OF MY DIFFENCE WITNESSES BUT THE REAL UNCLE (MAMA) DID NOT SUPPORT MY WIFE CASE OTHERWISE I COULD BE BEHIND THE BAR MY WIFE HAS GIVEN TOTALLY FALSE STATMENT IN THE COURT BUT NO ACTION   THE CORRUPT INDIAN COURTS ARE VERY MUCH SUPPORTIVE TO CORRUPT WOMEN   MY CONTACT NUMBER IS 8146080979 DO NOT TAKE LAWYER ADVICE THAT WIFE CAN NOT GET YOU  OUT FROM THE HOUSE  MY SINCERE ADVICE TO YOU IS EARN MONEY  TAKE SOME EVENING CLASSES FOR MECHNIC COURSE IN SOME PVT I.T.I   BECOME CAR MACHNIC ATLEAST SOME ADDITIONAL INCOME WILL COME  ONLY MONEY CAN SOLVE YOUR PROBLEM NOTHING ELSE 
 

Siddharth Srivastava (Advocate)     03 July 2017

Dear Sir,

Please firstly read my reply then comment. In reply I have said that no stranger shall have such deep knowledge of a person. I have not intended to hurt you but I take a serious note of your personal comment " Perhaps you were not born when I retired". Your age was not mentioned in your query. I request you not to be sarcastic while commenting on post.

 

Siddharth Srivastava (Advocate)     03 July 2017

Sir,

Pl again read the reply. section - 498 A IPC is meant for married wife only who is being dealt with cruelty. In your query you have mentioned that can wife and daughter file case u/s.498A or DV Act.  498 A state "HUSBAND OR RELATIVE OF HUSBAND OF A WOMAN SUBJECTING HER TO CRUELTY". It means it is related to married woman only and not related to every woman.This is for your information only. You are advised to firstly go through the law and consult some good lawyer before making any sarcastic comment. Very unhealthy practice.

 

Ms. Usha Hegde (CEO)     03 July 2017

Dr Ramani,

  1. You have grown old you state in this thread.
  2. But what use to simply grow old?
  3. You should have known by this time (5397 pots and 212 likes) that courts are not meant for resolving matrimonial disputes.
  4. Matrimonial life requires only one thing, which is adjustment.
  5. Adjustment which is unlimited.
  6. Once a person says why should I adjust, he or she can approach court with divorce application.
  7. Indian courts don’t grant divorce easily.
  8. Why?
  9. Because our culture is Hindu Culture.  Our culture says, once man and woman marry, man will have wife for 7 lifetimes.  Same holds good for wife also, she also assumes same.
  10. Some men and women don’t assume so.  But courts assume.
  11. Why courts assume so?
  12. Because, they don’t want society to be spoiled.
  13. Society is part of evolution of man.
  14. Marriage is also part of mans evolution.
  15. Mad did not marry in the beginning, s*x was free, anybody could have s*x with anyone.
  16. Slowly after thousands of years, first time marriage concept came into existence in Roman Empire.
  17. What doctorate did you do?  It is not useful to understand how marriage system evolved and you are advising people on family section where most problems relate to marriage.  What good your doctorate is?  Please don’t take personal.  Think.  What good is your doctorate if you cannot understand, marital problems cannot be solved by third party moreso by courts.
  18. The relief under various sections of law are just eye wash, for both man and woman.  Courts know this themselves.
  19. But you don’t know all this.
  20. Your dear friend (taxi driver) should find a solution to his problem himself.  In 20 years he could not find a solution, what will he find solution now?
  21. This is not the only forum/site on the Internet.
  22. There are lots of similar sites.  These have similar questions posted in them.
  23. These are of people who could not adjust.  If two people cannot adjust with each other what can anybody do?
  24. Get my point?
  25. Even donkeys age.  That’s a different topic altogether.  Nothing personal.
1 Like

Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech.] (Scientist/Engineer)     04 July 2017

There is an instance in Ramayanam

हि स्त्रीषु महात्मना: क्वचित् कुर्वन्ति दारुणं

                    वाल्मीकि रामायणं

Great men do not do or say anything harsh or disrespectful to women.


Who was the woman? It was Tara, the monkey lady. I think Ms. Patwardhan acted as Tara in the Ramayanam of Ramanandsagar.  Don't think Tara was just a monkey. The five great women in our mythology were Ahalya, Draupati, Seeta, Tara and Mandodari. Thus Tara was one of them. She was am atma-gnani. You remember the five great women everyday early morning. So, donkey, sorry I mean monkey, doesn't mean one is small. Great or small is to be decided from one's profile,  knowledge, behaviour and other personal qualities.

There is another instance again from Ramayanam. Rishi Vishvamitra tells young Lord Rama

"Rama!  This is not woman. She is Tataka, demoness, rakshasi."

So that is another kind of woman.

I am not giving here the original quotation, because it is in Tamil, which those here may not know.

And there was Sikhandi. She/He challenged Bhishmacharya. What did Bhishmacharya do?  He did not even look at her/him. Let him/her do whatever she/he wants.

If one doesn't look at a person, she/he is not Tara. She/he could be Sikhandi 

Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech.] (Scientist/Engineer)     04 July 2017

Dear Shri Sidharth Srivastav:   I saw your personal message also. You had started your post with the words "First of all have guts to come openly -------". Is that the way to address anybody or in any case a senior person?  Anyway you have good manners unlike Madam Usha Hegde.


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