Divorce

Don't take any hasty decision.

Instead of thinking about divorce on such petty things, it will be better if you both sit together, talk and sort out the differences or seek the advice of some marriage councellor. Try to build mutual trust in your relationship and try to patch up. If he doesnt mend his ways even after all efforts, then you can think about such extreme steps. 

Soni,

Please follow with the advice of my learned friend Adv. Archana . To me her advice is perfectly right for you at this juncture. Don't be so hasty as get a divorce.

Hi Soni,

If the same proplem repeats in second marriage also, do you take the same decision again. marriage is not a cloth to change. think again and again

The lover boy within one year of love marriage started to put allegations about character of wife and created fake I.D. to prove his il-designs and continuously argued for her late working hours.  Wife has been forced to live for the last 7 months in parental home, despite marriage.

What our so-called experts say?  This is a petty matter.  Do not spoil your marriage.  Stay with that sadist till life long.  This low esteemed and lack of self confident husband may put further imputations against her character in future.  But for protection of institution of marriage, bear all the pains as there is no guarantee if she marries again she may get a better husband.  If a wife's character is questioned quite often, is it good and justifiably to ask the lady to live with her husband for protecting the institution of marriage? 

Asking all the time the women to subjugate, surrender and succumb the allegations and atrocities perpetrated by husband for the sake of institution of marriage is an expert advice?

See another thread also.

Some one named "Nandhan" admitted that he slapped his wife not once but twice and he is alleging that brother-in-law, wife and MIL are intimadating him.  His action is purely offence under Section 498-A.  But our so-called experts find no fault with the husband and go on giving advice asking him to collect evidence against the wife, "bear with the wife as the child is only 4 months old" etc.  some expert advises that "offence is the best defence" and use the defence explained in Section 81 IPC against the wife.  None of these experts, even for the sake of words, condemned the husband's behaviour saying that using physical force against the wife is crime.  Using physical force against the physically weak - either wife, children or old parents - is crime and it has to be dealt with accordingly as stipulated in law.  If wife file Section 498-A case against such husband it is not a fake case but a genuine case, whether it can be proved in court or not is a different matter.  

I really get shocked for the legal and social consiousness of these so-called experts in the name of protecting the institution of marriage without giving any guarantee to the victim that her future life will be free from these atrocities.

So sad, seeing such replies. 

@Author (Soni)

My advice is that there could have been circumstances where you were also annoyed with your husband and you also would have scolded him for his wrong doings. But he did not had anywhere to go. But as a matter of fact you had an option to abondon him.

You have to develop faith in the institution of marriage. Its not a contract where all the conditions are to be met without faill but a sacrament where you blindly believe on whatever your spouse tells you. This blindness is seen while we worship GOD. I don't think any of the learned member of this forum could say they have seen GOD (else than those cutting comments about parents etc.) but parallely they would also agree that it exists.

Similarly there exists a pious bond between husband and wife which both of them have to keep strong. If one fails on other's tests it does mean its a complete failure but it may also mean there are scope of improvements and you are a good teacher :)

I suggest before joining you matrimonial home, you go to councelling and mediation session with your husband. It will help him build trust on you and your faith on him. I agree it is not a small argument to have doubts on the character of your spouse that too by the most closest of all known persons, however it is the duty of the other to remove that doubt while maintaining the dignity of the relation. If one is successfull in such peaceful manner, the other would himself/herself would start bahaving normal and in limits and it would return your respect too :)

This is legally a cruelity to baselessly allege of spouse's character and adulterous nature but again it is upto us if we want to break the marriage, fight in court and then prove our point or seek another alternative.

A divorcee in the whole world sits on a lower pedestal than an unmarried person of same age, education, category etc. and it is irrespective of the gender.

It is a natural behaviour of a human to feel insecured and sad when his/her spouse don't give required/desired attention by the former. Try involving elders of home or relatives who could be mediators. Try seeking court's help for professional mediators and councellors.

All the best !!

@Hema

You seriously lag the social and human touch. May be you prefer to live alone for whole of your life, but there are others who wish to live in peace. Please do not advice if you can't !!

Some one named "Nandhan" admitted that he slapped his wife not once but twice and he is alleging that brother-in-law, wife and MIL are intimadating him. His action is purely offence under Section 498-A. But our so-called experts find no fault with the husband and go on giving advice asking him to collect evidence against the wife, "bear with the wife as the child is only 4 months old" etc. some expert advises that "offence is the best defence" and use the defence explained in Section 81 IPC against the wife. None of these experts, even for the sake of words, condemned the husband's behaviour saying that using physical force against the wife is crime. Using physical force against the physically weak - either wife, children or old parents - is crime and it has to be dealt with accordingly as stipulated in law. If wife file Section 498-A case against such husband it is not a fake case but a genuine case, whether it can be proved in court or not is a different matter. 

Slapping goes unanswered by the wife only because she is physically weaker and not because she is sati savitri. If the wife was physically equal or stronger, may be the such situation might not have happened at all. It is as same as a situation for the husband who is weaker than many other males and those males dominate on him because of this same physical power. I wonder and laugh why no such protection is given from physical abuse to both the genders ...... Needless to mention, a husband too do not go to police station even after the wife coerce him and verbally torture him. Just the difference is that being physically weaker she stays only isolated to verbal fight than physical. And that's a fact !!! But this too is a fact that no one amongst both spouses has any right to snatch the fundamental rights of the other....

The person @Nandhan you are talking about, has informed that his wife wants to live at Dubai despite the fact that @Nandhan wants to return to India. Additionally he fears that his wife may take some legal step to coerce him so as to continue to live a Dubai alike life.

Pointing out peculiar points from different cases does not change the identity of the case in hand. If a married girl was beaten in some state and the husband was convicted, then can we convict all accused in default against whom the case would be registered thereafter???

PS: While majority of learned members are trying to calm-down @Author(Soni), to save her matromony, someone is trying to break it. Is this the motive why they visit this site???????

//peace

/Saurabh..V

Additionally I wish to inform the learned members that, @Nandhan, about whom @Hema was chanting in her post, has also informed that she do not want to join him at matrimonial home if he would move to India.

Is this the reason why she married him? Marry and enjoy a foreign country on his expenses? And when for the betterment or constraints of family, the guardian makes a decision to shift the residence, how can dependant claim residence as and where they want. If such desires are legally allowed, every married woman would vist Switzerland, Sydney, New York, London etc etc etc places on their spouses expenses :p

Is this institution of marriage or business of marriage??

//peace

/Saurabh..V

I seriously want to tell you to go back to law school!

Here is mint fresh illustration to your fixation of advising to file S. 498a IPC / Bharat Ratna DV Act peddling as GENUINE CASES and giving wrong legal suggestions to women queries by misappropriating their briefs out of proportion by commenting left and right mixing other posts replies into this authors brief…………

IN THE SUPREME COURT OF INDIA

CRIMINAL APPELLATE JURISDICTION

CRIMINAL APPEAL No.1709  OF 2011

(Arising out of S.L.P. (Crl) No.7924 of 2008)

Bhushan Kumar Meen                       ...    Appellant 

           Vs.

State of Punjab and Ors.                 ...    Respondents

J U D G M E N T

ALTAMAS KABIR,J.

1.     Leave granted.

2.     The appellant, who had all along been appearing in   person, was represented by   counsel,  Mr. Vijay K. Aggarwal, at the time of final hearing of the  appeal, which is directed   against   the judgment   and   order dated   27.8.2008 passed by the Punjab and   Haryana   High   Court   in   Crl.M. No.13709   of   2007,   dismissing   the   appellant's application   under   Section   482   Cr.P.C.   for quashing   the   FIR   No.9   dated   10.1.2007   of   P.S. Patiala, filed by his wife, the respondent No.2 herein.

3.    The   appellant's   marriage   was   solemnized   with the   respondent   No.2   on   27.11.2004   as   per   Sikh rites.     After   their   marriage,   the   couple   went to   Gujarat   where   the   appellant   was   employed with   Patronet   L.N.G.   Limited   in   District Bharuch, Gujarat, and lived together as husband and   wife,   though   no   child   was   born   out   of   the  said   wedlock.     Subsequently,   differences   arose between   the   appellant   and   the   respondent   No.2 which   resulted   in   a   complaint     being   made   by the respondent No.2 on 12.5.2006 to the Senior Superintendent   of   Police,   Patiala,   requesting that a criminal case be registered against the appellant   under   Sections   406   and   498-A   IPC.

The said complaint was forwarded to the Women's Cell in Patiala, which made a detailed inquiry into   the   allegations   made   by   the   respondent No.2   against   the   appellant.  After   such inquiry,   the   Women's   Cell   came   to   the conclusion that even in spite of the periodical differences   between   the   appellant   and   the respondent   No.2,   they   continued   to   maintain their   relationship   as   husband   and   wife. From the report it appears that even after she left Gujarat,   at   the   instance  of her  husband   she returned   to   Gujarat   in   January   2006,   and,  thereafter, they visited   Mount   Abu,   Bombay, Shirdi, Udaipur, Jaipur, Delhi and Gandhinagar, and both of them even went to Ambala to attend the   retirement   function   of   her   mother-in-law, but after reaching Ambala she left for Patiala instead   of   going   with   the   appellant   to   the Zirakpur.  The Women's Cell also found that the respondent No.2 had great love for her parents and   as   a   result   she   wanted   to   stay   with   them more often.   Even on the question of dowry, it was   found   that   the   entire   complaint   had   been exaggerated   and   that   the   respondent   No.2   was determined to teach her husband and his family members   a         lesson by levelling serious allegations   against   them.  The   ultimate conclusion   arrived   at   by   the   Women's   Cell   was that   nothing   had   come   out   from   the   inquiry   to prove   the   demand   of   dowry   and   issuance   of threat,   and   that   the   dispute   was   of   a   civil nature which did not call for any action by the local police at the said stage.

4.    Subsequently, a further inquiry was held by the Superintendent   of   Police,   Patiala,   who   despite taking   into   consideration   the   report   filed   by the   Women's   Cell   Patiala,   came   to   the conclusion   that   the   respondent   No.2   had   been harassed by the appellant and her father-in-law and mother-in-law for not meeting the demand of dowry   and   suggested   action   to   be   taken   under Sections 406, 498-A IPC and Sections 3 and 4 of the   Dowry   Prohibition   Act,   1961.     However,   on receipt   of   the   said   report,   the   Senior Superintendent   of   Police,   Patiala,   met   the appellant   and   the   respondent   No.2   and   was   of the view that the matter did not appear to be a case   of   demand   of   dowry   and   the   allegations needed to be checked again for evidence, though the ingredients of Section 498-A could be true.

The   Superintendent   of   Police,   Patiala,   was directed   to   re-verify   and   substantiate   the evidence.

5.    After   further   inquiry,   the   Superintendent   of Police, once again came to the conclusion that the   appellant   had   harassed   the   respondent   No.2 which   merited   the   registration   of   a   case against   the   appellant   under   Section   498-A   IPC. Upon   the   case   being   registered,   the   appellant filed   Criminal   Misc.   No.13709   of   2007   under Section 482 Cr.P.C. for quashing the FIR.   The matter   was   heard   by   the   learned   Single   Judge, who,   by   his   order   dated   27.8.2008,   dismissed the   application   filed   by   the   appellant   for quashing   of   the   FIR   and   held   that   in   view   of the   specific   allegations   contained   therein,   no ground for quashing the same had been made out and the appellant would be at liberty to set up the plea in defence at the appropriate stage of the trial.

6.    Aggrieved   by   the   said   order   of   the   learned Single   Judge,   the   appellant   filed   the   Special Leave Petition out of which the present appeal arises.

7.    Appearing   for   the   appellant,   Mr.   Vijay   K. Aggarwal,   learned   Advocate,   submitted   that   at every   stage   the   appellant   had   made   sincere attempts   to   make   the   marriage   with   the respondent   No.2   work,   but   at   every   stage   such efforts of the appellant had been resisted. It was submitted that the appellant had agreed to live with the respondent No.2 in a house which was   separate   from   the   house   in   which   his       parents   lived,   since   it   was   one   of   the complaints   of   the   respondent   No.2   that   he   was paying   more   attention   to   his   parents   than   to  her.  According   to   the   learned   counsel appearing   for   the   appellants,   all   the   attempts made by the appellant to make the marriage work proved to be futile on account of the attitude of the respondent No.2, and even the complaint made   against   him   was   a   fallout   thereof, although, there was no truth whatsoever in any of the allegations made in the FIR.

8.    On behalf of the respondent No.2 an attempt was made to show that the appellant is a person who was only interested in harassing the respondent  No.2   for   bringing   dowry.     However,   the   said allegations do not bear scrutiny in view of the report filed by the Women's Cell, Patiala that the   appellant   and   the   respondent   No.2   had visited   various   places   all   over   the   country together,   which,   according   to   the   learned counsel   for   the   appellant,   clearly   proves   that the appellant and the respondent No.2 continued       to   maintain   a   normal   relationship   of   husband and wife despite their moments of disagreement.

Coupled   with   the   above,   is   the   observation   of the   Senior   Superintendent   of   Police,   Patiala, that   after   meeting   the   couple   he   was   of   the view that the matter did not relate to a dowry offence and that the dispute appeared to be of a civil nature. 

9.     The complaint made by the respondent No.2 does not, in our view, make out a case under Section 498-A IPC and appears to have been filed by the respondent   No.2   based   on   misunderstandings between   the   parties   prompting   the   respondent No.2   to   attack   the   appellant   for   something which   is   likely   to   have   occurred   during   their stormy marriage.

10.    In   our   view,   the   learned   Single   Judge   of   the High Court did not appreciate the nature of the on   and   off   relationship   between   the   appellant and   the   respondent   No.2,   which   caused   him   to dismiss   the   appellant's   application   under Section   482   Cr.P.C.   on   the   ground   that   there were serious allegations in the FIR which have been registered against the appellant regarding his   alleged   cruelty   and   maltreatment   of   the respondent   No.2   and   even   misappropriation  by him.

11.    We   are   unable   to   agree   with   the   reasoning   of the learned Single Judge, since from the entire records   available   it   is   clear   that   the complaint   made   by   the   respondent   No.2   did   not make   out   a   prima   facie   case   to   go   to   trial under Section 498-A IPC.

12.    In   such   circumstances,   we   are   inclined   to accept   Mr.   Aggarwal's   submissions   that   no offence   under   Section   498-A   IPC   had   been   made out   against   the   appellant   and   the   complaint was,   therefore,   liable   to   be   rejected   and   the FIR was also liable to be quashed.

13.    The appeal is accordingly allowed. The impugned order   of   the   High   Court   is   set   aside   and   the FIR   lodged   by   the   respondent   No.2   against   the appellant, and all the proceedings taken on the basis thereof, are quashed.

                               ............................................................J.

                               (ALTAMAS KABIR)

                               ............................................................J.

                             (CYRIAC JOSEPH)

                               ............................................................J.

                              (SURINDER SINGH NIJJAR)

New Delhi,

Dated: 02.09.2011.

Yes Soni,

This isn't a legal problem,but more of a personal problem.People do not visit lawyers because of these reasons.

Meet a marriage counsellor.

If you feel your husband is overdoing it,ie,his suspicions,better to take him to a psychologist.Maybe he had faced some bad events in the past,ie,of losing someone.Hence he behaves likewise.If that was so,he cannot be termed cruel in any manner.

I have tried a lot to convince him. believe me i am not taking any hasty decision. Idid't ask for any one's personal opinion. I just want to live in peace in rest of my life. What i had experienced in his house with him & his family that was terrified. &  there is also no question of second husband because if this is  the life after marriage its better to live alone. I can never forget what he did with me though i got married to him against the wish of may parents. If i can marry him against my parents why i have to proof that he would never loose me.

Also he is not agreeing 4 divorce because he thinks that now i like some other guy. That is what he asked me when i said that i could not  stay with him. He himelf asked me 4 divorce a number of times but now he is denying. Now i want to finish all these things.

Plz give legal advice which i can opt.

@ Author

1. You may file for divorce on cruelty grounds.
However reading down your two posts it may not come easily due to Court intervention (mediation) for quite sometime. See when one spouse who does not want divorce and another spouse who wants divorce approaches court then court plays mediator to rejoin the two spouses till last effort but then the same spouse shows there adamancies so ultimately after very very long passage of lost youth a stage appears when they themselves give in loosing what they were not meant to loose first hand had Indian moral and social torpedoes attention paid too earlier. But then that is about today’s temperamental incompatible spouse stories, we can't do much other than saying that opt for Divorce as first movers way to give solace to a hurt heart as a women’s heart need healing instead of continuing into a mismatch day –in- day out till its says let me give a try for reunion keeping past behind us !


2. You should also seek interim maint. with litigation cost to sustain forthcoming long court innings. Today probably you may not like to seek maint. may be since divorce the catch word is clouding judgments, but if we apply your hurt present feelings clubbed with a future resolution of no-more-marriages for me and God forbid such thoughts sticks too long and meanwhile you donot have a job due to contested court case(s) clubbed with loosing balance of mind then who will support you?. It falls back to present spouse area of responsibilities to keep the house in order failing which meet maint. and contest on merit the allegations!


There are some reasoning mentioned above which are not morality talk if re-read again but are revolving around “seek divorce as last resort” kar key see what you may pick up for your own better quality of life and affexted persons around you larger interests. 

If you want divorce, if your marriage was solemnized under Hindu Marriage Act, you can file a petition under Section 13 (1)(ia) seeking divorce on the ground of "cruelty" perpetrated by the husband against you.  Your petition must clearly specify the cruel acts with specific details.  You approach a kind, considerate, sensitive and intelligent advocate for getting the petition filed and case contested successfully.

wish you best of luck.

Do you understand husband wife relation ship? As you said you spend late hours on job - that a common problem. If you can not take time for husband why you married? Any healthy male will like to spend timw with his wife and if wife continue to spend late hours on job definetly he will get frustated and better mend your ways otherwise you need to choose one job or husband. And spend rest of life alone.

I am sure you can find out a job that gives work life balance, if home and husband are important for you.

Otherwise lot of so called earning ladies are fighting in courts and spend money on advocates for such follish reason.

I agree.

Similarly no wife will like if the husband works late night and refuses to give her time.

There are so many conflicts we hear of nowadays,owing to this very reason.

If your husband was an opportunist,he could have misused this opportunity of your extra working hrs. to have an affair himself.But he's missing you rather.Take it +vely and visit a counsellor also,if you feel he's getting mentally disturbed because of this.