I got married on 3/12/14 according to a hindu rituals but my marriage had always been through rough patches. Finally on 5/9/15 my wife left home and till today she has not returned. It has been 8 months since she has left the home. Currently, we have no kids.
Family Equation: my wife doesnt have parents, they both passed away in 2013 and she is the only child to her parents with no siblings; presently, she is being taken care by her fathers first cousin family; she does not have good relations with her immediate family so they dont interfere in her matters. Currently, i have heard that she is living in a PG in jaipur and is earning a living by doing a job as a playgroup teacher. she has an ancestral home in a village in Rajasthan where her grandmother lives with her son and his family (having 2 siblings and a wife) and a few properties that she inherited from her parents after their demise; ironically, her immediate family including herself are not well settled and are not financially sound; on the contrary, her father's first cousin family is equally well settled and financially strong.
My background: im the only child to my parents with no siblings. My family is reasonably well reputed in the society and financially sound.
Reasons for dispute: we could never get along, our thinking never matched. She was spendthrift by nature and never heard anyone in my family and always gave counter answers to the elders in my family. She always wanted 15-20k a month as a pocket money from me to spend on her silly things (she has no burden to bring the daily household groceries as they are bought by my parents) to which I reluctantly protested. Here it all started.
My weak-points: 1) she have an explicit picture and video of me and my ex-gf which was taken around 5 years ago by me. On this point she and her family blackmails me that they will get me arrested!! Is this possible in indian law?
2) in all this chaos, once her family demanded 1-1.5 crore as a settlement amount plus a flat in her name at her desired location; seeing this i lost my cool and messaged her family saying that "plz make a list of the required items and cash needed, if reasonable we will provide it to you and get the matter settled outside court as i dont see any scope left in this relationship"; now, They use my message as a written proof in their possession of me seeking divorce.
In these 8 months: her family members met mine family for the numerous of times. But her family never intended to solve the matter to make me n my wife live together again. Instead, they always forced us to accept their lame terms and conditions to further degrade the matter.
Terms & conditions: 1) allow her to do the job as a school teacher for play group(it was already pre-decided with the girl and her family at the time of fixing the marriage that the girl will not do any kinda job to which the girl and her family agreed in advance and proceeded further to marry me but now they deny this fact saying that they don't remember it).
2) provide her with the pocket money of 25-30k a month and allow her to spend it the way she wants.
Current Scenario: i was made to meet her on 28/2/16 to solve the matter but again the girl and her family came up with conditions like i shall allow her to do the job, make her meet your ex-gf, provide her with 25-30k a month as a pocket money. This time i agreed on all of their demands but again nothing could be fetched and they said that they will think over it and nothing happened till date.
In the meanwhile: my mother got diagnosed with the breast cancer stage II in march'16; she is being given treatment at Hinduja hospital, Mumbai. here, i asked the girl and her family to end this matter immediately nullifying all if and buts and come back asap.
But what i got in reply from the man in charge of her family was "first cure your mother completely and then we will think to send her" I was completely heartbroken and shattered as i got this kinda reply from her family.
That day, i decided that i have to divorce her and no compromise will be made in any situation as she didnt stand by my side in this grave situation of my mother, rather she and her family are trying to take advantage of us in this difficult times.
In the recent times: in april 2016, my father tried to contact the man in charge in her family to solve this matter but he didnt answer the call or called back. After calling them for 2-3 consecutive days with no answer from their side my father decided to stand outside at the man in charge's office as this is the only possible way to meet him. They met, but this time the man in charge said that he is not into the matter anymore and currently the girl in is faith of other family relatives.
Additional details: her family always call us in a month or two and ask us to pack some of her belongings each time that lies in her matrimonial house though she already packed and took a bunch of suitcases while leaving. They never ask for complete belongings. For example,
1) in late October they called up and asked to pack her winter wear
2) in February, they asked us to give them her leagl documents like id proofs.
3) in march they asked us to pack a few summer wear for her.
4) in april they asked us that she needs her honda activa as she will go to school by scooter.
Aftermath: if i or my family try to contact the girl or her family they never answer the call or reply back. We are ready to give 20-25 lac as a settlement amount but as far as i understand that they wont settle this matter at all since they have some unscrupulous ideas going in their minds. They will falsely put me under 498A for sure coz that is the only weapon they could use to thrash me.
My assumptions (i may be wrong in some points): 1) they married me the girl in the hope of snatching the money from my family coz (touchwood) my family is well settled and on the other hand, she has nothing in her kitty (though her fathers first cousin family is also well settled but her immediate family is not financially sound).
2) they wont divorce me easily, coz as per my family's supposition, they will not get this kind of matrimonial house again for this girl.
My queries:
1) are there any possibilities of filing a divorce with her?
2) if yes, how we should proceed in this case?
3) since the law in india is only women oriented and there are no rights written anywhere to safeguard the mens' interest what if the girl isnt ready to divorce me (in my case there are negligible chances that they will agree on divorce) than what shall i do?
4) what will be the legal consequences that i have to face provided that they have a explicit photo of me and my ex-gf, they also claim that they have a short videotape of me and my ex-gf in compromising state shot 5 years ago?
5) how much time will it consume to settle the matter?
6)Since my wife has already left her matrimonial home 8 months ago, can i still be charged under Domestic Violence Act and Sec 498A?
7) if yes, then they will surely fabricate me and my family under sec 498A & DVA; i know i cannot save myself completely from these two odious laws but are there any ways out that can somehow ease the effects of its litigations?
8) though I'm not at all in the favour of charging my wife and her family with any allegations (true or false) coz i only want to close this chaos amicably but if they put false allegations against me under 498A and DVA then what should i do to counter charge them?
9) if suppose, the girl isn't ready to divorce me on the context that she is practically an orphan and is ready to come back to her matrimonial house provided that we fulfil her above mentioned terms & conditions, then what shall i do? Coz neither i nor my family are in any mood to get her back!
10) they have already demanded a big alimony (1-1.5 crore plus a flat at her desired location) before also but we denied to settle on that; instead we offered a 20-25 lac as a settlement amount but nothing could be fetched. Now suppose if her family don't negotiate will the court itself decide the alimony like maintenance, settlement amount etc?
12) if yes, then what are the parameters on which the court decides the maintenance or settlement amount?
13) can she only claim the properties on my name or are the properties that are self earned by my father (having joint name of mother) also claimable?
14) can she also claim the ancestral properties of mother and father that they got in inheritance from their parents?
15) any other help/advice in this case will be highly appreciated since as far as i see the situations, I'm trapped very badly.
