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John Almeida (Team Member)     18 December 2012

Divorce and child custody

Iam 35 years old man in relation with married woman (Hindu ) she has a boy who is 5 years old she has got married 6 years ago as per the Hindu ceremony , the marriage is not registered in the court. Her husband work on merchant Navy  nad his away for around 9 months and has several relation outside marriage , he has a daughter out of the relation which is out of the country , this information was provided by one of his co worker. Husband has always been abusive and has tourchered his wife s*xually and verbally , the scars and marks are visibile on her body , We got in a relationship which later he came to know , he set up detective agencies and has our snaps clicked together, She has been forced to have s*xual relationship and has signed a bond that she will not break the marriage, and if at all this happens the child custody would be with him.. The Girls parents and the husband family is very orthodox and does not permitt her to live and choose her live. I have agreed to marry her and take care of his son ... Can u suggest if the divorce takes place will she get the child custody as he can prove to the court that she's in relation with another man and does not deserve child custody , Kindly advise



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 10 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     18 December 2012

50:50

1. If she hires a (criminal side practice) seasoned advocate via reference above is the ratio I place as opinion.

1.1 The alleged signed paper have no value and she can always resile.
1.2 The tales oozing out of alleged snap are crucial to get custody as well as divorce if she files both being first mover advantage to her.
1.3 Child company of nearly 9 months out of a year are what gives her 50:50 chance is my view and not alleged adultry r/w quality of the pics.

 

John Almeida (Team Member)     18 December 2012

Thank  you Sir for your reply... Also wanted to check if She files for Divorce will she get child support ... what if her husband denies divorce on what ground can she  can file for divorce and about the child ... Can he not contest in the family court about her alleged relation outside the marriage , i think this is one place that we are concerned about , please advise .. appreciate your input and advise

 

Thanks in advance

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     19 December 2012

Good questions;

Mind it let me clarify first, I replied taking HIM into consideration that he may file then chances to your lady is what I said in previous paras.

The moment you ask me further clarifications stepping on lady’s shoulder (POV) here are pointers;

  1. In my opinion from facts she seems not to have any grounds for divorce other than those signed under force papers which are weak grounds whereas scars and related inflicting tell tale signs are reported under stamped / signed complaint before areas PS then (treated as valuable mental cruelty action suit) for lady's hired seasoned advcoate the police reporting helps to take a good call on but nevertheless such leads can be tried as 'first mover advantage' if THEIR relationships have come about beyond repair.

  2. Whosoever files for divorce she is still eligible for child support be it even if she is working lady as child support is co-extensive so they will have to share the opinion of the Court.

  3. Yes HE can bring action suit on alleged relationship outside marriage (signed letter etc. r/w pics) but Law protects wife at the end of the day as she is perceived to be always in vulnerable position world over (jurisprudence call as we say) which is strange in today’s ‘equality’ age but if proved under strict proof required under Criminal Laws of the land then you will be behind bars and not SHE and and what is the stage she brought such action into - Divorce atthe end of the day and that is why I stressed on quality of snaps what they reveal and presentation of HIS side's advcoate r/w seasoned advocate needed for the lady.


Well away from previous opinion and the above clarifying once, I do not find need to enter into such relationships but that is my personal opinion being it if my neighborhood lady’s husband is working 12 months overseas I prefer to ignore her though might sound tempting !. Least what one can help the lady is in showing the light that law is there to protect her (from such domestic violence) and further may help her in empowring her to stand on her own feet but then when such emotional support shoulder is extended by a single male in given situation the weak (lady in reference to context) heavily leans towards that shoulder and chances of picking any one other than him post legal scenarios becomes very less.  hence I feel one should avoid such emotional traps of (single) married ladies with child(rens) as a selfish ethical questions comes once in life time; what if the way she left HIM will she not leave me?. No matter facts shows few incidences of domestic violence. But then in legal portals under limitation one should take once own call after getting various legal opinion (assimilate and then act upon with wide open eyes).

Hence I wind up probably with mixed replies, take what suits YOU first as a single man is always found to be selfish when such relationships questions is asked deep and I am not good at social discussions in legal portals least I damage the legal credibility of this portal site encouraging time pass from bored housewives squatting here
J.

[POV = Point of view]


(Guest)

@Queriest,

you are well-advised by Tajob(Senior...).

But I dare to emphasize over few points

1. If her husband has the proof so strong as to be sufficient to prove beyond doubt an eastablishment of illegal relationship between you and her wife, you are in imminent danger posed by the offence of adultry.

2.Mere cruelty by her husband doesn't give you legal rights to establish relationship with her.It's a very weak ground to save you.

3.Contrary to the suggestion

                   " Hence I wind up probably with mixed replies, take what suits YOU first as a single man is always found to be selfish when such relationships questions is asked deep"

 

I strongly advise you to stay away(at least until she gets divorce on merits of her own prepared ground,even involving in preparation of such ground will lead to the charges of instigation) from such relationship.

 

Regards,

stanley (Freedom)     19 December 2012

Originally posted by : John Almeida


Iam 35 years old man in relation with married woman (Hindu ) she has a boy who is 5 years old she has got married 6 years ago as per the Hindu ceremony , the marriage is not registered in the court.

The marriage is vaild 

Her husband work on merchant Navy  nad his away for around 9 months and has several relation outside marriage , he has a daughter out of the relation which is out of the country , this information was provided by one of his co worker.

Now my view is how would this co-worker prove that her husband has a 9 month daughter out of the relation outside the country .

Husband has always been abusive and has tourchered his wife s*xually and verbally , the scars and marks are visibile on her body ,

In india its a husband's legal right to have s*x with his wife after marraige. You have mentioned that he torchered his wife s*xually ( A husband can have s*x with his wife and it is not considered as rape in india , i am suprised at the fact when you mentions that he is out of the country for 9 months than how can he torcherer her s*xually :() and verbally and not physcially and how did the scars arise on her body ??   

We got in a relationship which later he came to know , he set up detective agencies and has our snaps clicked together, She has been forced to have s*xual relationship and has signed a bond that she will not break the marriage, and if at all this happens the child custody would be with him.. The Girls parents and the husband family is very orthodox and does not permitt her to live and choose her live. I have agreed to marry her and take care of his son ... 

Child custody would be based on welfare of the child and if at all her husband proves that that you had s*x with her you would be behind bars and it would be a case of adultery . From your further posts you have stated that can she get maintanence for the child to which Tajobs has replied that it is co-extensive . And here above you mention that you are ready to take care of the child which is contradictory . It seems that you have fallen head in heels in love with his wife and than blame the orthodox nature of her and his family when you cant have your way :(  you want a readymade baby as well as her husband to maintain the child ??

Can u suggest if the divorce takes place will she get the child custody as he can prove to the court that she's in relation with another man and does not deserve child custody , Kindly advise

yes if he proves to the court that she is in a relation with another man that is you than you are in deep trouble and deep sh*t for a case of adultery and she would lose child custody for this . Rather than marrying her you would have to under go  imprisonment  and would be married to the jail premises. As your age is 35 yrs and you are young you would get everything inside the jail premises chai ,cigrattes etc expect for s*x and you being young would be sodomised by the other inmates ;)  The choice is yours as to what exactly you want .

you should abstain from such relationships and not fall in head over heels . 

John Almeida (Team Member)     19 December 2012

Respected Sir,

I understand that a husband has legal rights to have s*xual relation with his wife, However if the women denies it, is it not considered to be a rape..

Secondly before i came in this relation , this man was already touchering her physically, mentally and emotionally , the 3- 4months of stay here with her are a nightmare , there are cigrattes burnt marks, and few knife scrapped marks on her body , is it not tourcher... is it not abuse , i strongly believe without the consent of a woman be she be married to that person this is forceful act .

Coming on my relationship with her, Yes we did got in relationship with each other, and there are few pics that he has where we are together close, however that does not proof that we had physically relation.

law is biased, a man can be accused of adultery, but if a woman files a case against her husband its not be the same.. why dont we have similar laws .. Does a man  in this century has al the rights to committ adultery outside marriage and the woman can do anything, and if the same thing is reported by a husband that his wife is having a relation that's adultery .. very strange 

I had written iam willing to take reponsibility of her and her son, and my question was will she get any financial support from her husband  if she files  for divorce

I agree we are in love with each other, there are times where 2 people married things are not well , so what's the solution.. who ever has money power that's the winner is that so the case.

This man has used his money power to investigate and his blackmailing her , where's the end to it...  will this continue for life long 

stanley (Freedom)     19 December 2012

Originally posted by : John Almeida


Respected Sir,

I understand that a husband has legal rights to have s*xual relation with his wife, However if the women denies it, is it not considered to be a rape..

Legally speaking if a woman denies s*x to a husband it can be treated as a ground of Divorce so if the husband wants to go in for Divorce he can go ahead under these grounds . 

Secondly before i came in this relation , this man was already touchering her physically, mentally and emotionally , the 3- 4months of stay here with her are a nightmare , there are cigrattes burnt marks, and few knife scrapped marks on her body , is it not tourcher... is it not abuse , i strongly believe without the consent of a woman be she be married to that person this is forceful act .

i am rather suprised that she displayed her naked body to you and you investigated the burn marks as well as the scraped knife marks on her body :(If she has been tortured why hasnt his wife filed an FIR with the police . The police would have taken action and registered a case against him . She would be sent for a medical examination and the report would have been called for to prove her claims . 

Coming on my relationship with her, Yes we did got in relationship with each other, and there are few pics that he has where we are together close, however that does not proof that we had physically relation.

law is biased, a man can be accused of adultery, but if a woman files a case against her husband its not be the same.. why dont we have similar laws .. Does a man  in this century has al the rights to committ adultery outside marriage and the woman can do anything, and if the same thing is reported by a husband that his wife is having a relation that's adultery .. very strange 

Our laws are gender Biased . 

I had written iam willing to take reponsibility of her and her son, and my question was will she get any financial support from her husband  if she files  for divorce

If she is working she want get anything and if she remarries and is not working than any maintanence awarded ceases as and when she  gets married to you ;)  I dont understand your issue about finincial support for her arent you capable of taking care of her once her divorce get through 

I agree we are in love with each other, there are times where 2 people married things are not well , so what's the solution..

Let her seek MCD than 

who ever has money power that's the winner is that so the case.
This man has used his money power to investigate and his blackmailing her , where's the end to it...  will this continue for life long 

There is difference between blackmailing and proving the truth . If  its is not the truth than why is she afraid of being blackmailed 

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     19 December 2012

To your second limited question the reply is YES even if she is a working lady or un-employed and/or in extreme chances found to be adulterous then also she is protected by Law for alimony from her husband. So don’t say law is biased atleast on this fact. Think from head not heart and no need to feel guilty.

However from all your two -1/2 facts I did not see a single reporting made to police r/w medical consultation ordered by police of those alleged physical violence signs (tell tale signs of cig. Burns / knife acts / bite marks etc.) domestic violence which is starting step to seek divorce as well as alimony.

World over merchant navy chaps are found statistically end up into highest divorce rate and leaving behind illegitimate childs at various port of call they make so I knew exactly what you were narrating as facts as in third party reference of his second marriage and illegetimate child in some offshore port.

Least what you may do now thinking from head not heart are;

A.
help her hire a seasoned advocate found via reference.

B. help her under direction from her advocate in filing police complaint r/w medical done on her of such and such domestic violence incidences as and when in future they may again happen.

C. help her to stand on her own feet if she is educated by encouraging her to take full time profession which interests her.

D. reduce from your side present relationships and be supportive to her till she has a clear decree in hand.

E. educate her towards the need of legal adoption by you of her child vis-à-vis visitation to natural father of the child post decree provided she wins custody which has high probability as I see from emerging facts.

Then take a joint call on what such relationship happy ending shall be for the better of both of you in days to come. 

[Last reply]

John Almeida (Team Member)     19 December 2012

I really appreciate your responses and advise, The reason she has not reported earlier and now is that because of her father , he is the one who got her married to him. So his parents and her father were work collegues, As said earlier it's an very orthodox family where respect is more important than everything else.. Her father might not be able to take it well . also he's of the believe that once the girl is married the responsibility lies with the husband . She does not want to make this case open to all where everyone points fingers at her and her parents.

I shall seek consulatation on this case, Thank You once again for your advises it's very helpful and insightful, Good to have such portal .

John Almeida (Team Member)     19 December 2012

The other reason she his scared of loosing her child if she files for divorce, as per what i have understood , child custody dependson the welfare of the child correct , this Guy has a lot of money and power and influence as he's from North india ... I will maintain distance she gets a divorce decree , Since i informed he has our snapswhich might  prove in the court that she is not the person the child should live with ,

Our main concern is the child custody , can she get her child to be with her.

Currently she is working and i have advisd her to complete her education and acquire some skills based jobs to begin something of our own 


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