I got married in Sep 07 and son was born in Jan 2009. My wife is having secret affair with 2 guys. With first one (X) since 2007 (even b4 marriage) and another guy (Y) since 2010. At first I came to know about relationship with X through her sms in inbox. It was not deliberate, but at that time she was cooking and upon hearing sms tone, she asked me to check. At that time she said, the guy is having crush, but she always refused. I didn't find any fault then. After 2 months, too I saw some sms from same guy, this time too she refused. After 3 months from this episode, she was checking her emails in our personal computer and I just observed her finger movements and the password for her email was the name of this X. Later I snooped and found romantic emails. when I objected, she apologized. At this point she was about to deliver baby and went to stay with her mom. (The email account was deleted by her). So I had no track of her calls or sms. after she returned after delivery things were going smooth, but again one day I snooped her mobile and found sms like 'I love u', I want 2 be with u' like. This time she fought with me very hard and threatened to commit suicide if I probe further. I dropped it there.
In 2010, she moved to a new company and thought things would end. But she picked up another guy working there. I didn't know till I grew suspicious as she used to keep sending and receiving atleast dozen sms a day even after 11 pm.
There are 3 branches for her office. She would some time say, I going to other branch today or I have some late evening meet or I am going to temple, but she would be hanging with any one of these guys at restaurant, pizza hut, movie (public places). By seeing her sms, I came to know. I didn't ask as, if she does something, I have no proof to defend myself.
6 months back, she accidentally mouthed password of new email id while she was logging from her mobile. Then I checked her email id and found lot of emails exchanged with this guy 'Y'. Like 'I love you', I consider you as my husband, I am not even bothered about kid, 'Take me with you' etc.. I also found she was s*xting with strangers. This Y is married and has even visited our home with his wife, parents atleast 5 times in the last 2 years. His wife is suspicious and this is just to convince her that nothing wrong happening between my wife and Y
I then, forwarded these emails to my mail. By coincidence, she has deleted all her emails (She doesn't know yet, that I am snooping yet.
Though I have very strong doubt that she had physical relationship with both guys, I have no proof to back up.
Important point is that, I want to talk with her and resolve. I am not interested in divorce. I am bothered about my parents and kid. My wife's relationship with parents is not bad. We all live in the same roof and harmony prevails. As of now, I am the only person suffering mental agony. If go for divorce, my parents, kid, her parents also would suffer this agony.
Hence, I want to sit and talk. But if counters by filing divorce, or file harassment case or worse commit suicide, I need some evidence to defend myself. Or if she is adamant in continuing her relationship and dares me to file divorce, I need valid grounds
Now my questions are
1. Do I have valid ground to file for divorce. Will the courts accept the email evidences. In the past, she used to send email from Office computer and personal data card (which I am using now). Now she access email from personal mobile. (In case, question of which IP address was used comes up, she should not say, I sent on her behalf). Except Office IP, personal mobile and data card, we both use. Of course the mails were sent to official id of 'Y'.
2. If the court won't accept email evidence, what evidence I need to establish. Will a photograph taken by private detective be accepted. Again, if the photograph is only of my wife and her boy friend in public place like theatre, pizza corner will the court accept (She can easily say, it is just a friend ship or worse can she even say, she went only with knowledge of me)
3. If she gets physical with these guys, which happens only in private place, for which no photograph is possible, how do I establish.
4. If I am able establish infidelity, can I take custody of my kid who is 4 years. (Male child). In any case, it will take approx 1 year to get final order, by which time kid will be over 5 years.
5. Despite me submitting photos and other evidence, if court does not accept, can my wife file case against me for mental cruelty.
6. In case court accepts, these photographs and email, can she still file case against my under IT act or breach of privacy?
As I said, I am not really interested to pursue. I have decided to talk to her once. If she accepts ok. Win win for all. If she doesn't agree but continue to hang out with these guys, I am still ok, as long as my kid and parents don't suffer. I will continue to suffer in silence.
Only if she counter attacks, I want to be prepared
