Do matrimonial laws REALLY FAVOR WOMEN?

Laws are in favour of women theoretically, since the law always used to be with weaker side. Not only laws even our religion, religious texts, culture too gives special status to females, they are considered as sacred gender “Ghar Ki Laxmi”.

Even these heavily loaded laws in favor of women too are not proving deterrent and failed to save them from cruelty/attrocity. It is the failure of investigation agency, due to which these laws are being misused.

Right from the social reformer Raja Ram Mohan Roy, Mahatma Gandhi to A P J Abdul Kalam have advocated for the upliftment /empowerment of females/girls and have expressed their deep concern over the condition of females .

Once retd. Chief Justice Of India A S Anand had said that "Fight for gender equality is not a fight against men. It is a fight against traditions that have chained them ------ a fight against attitudes that are ingrained in the society --- it is a fight against the system ---- a fight against proverbial Laxman Rekha which is different for men and different for women. The society must rise to the occasion. It must recognize and accept the fact that men and women are equal partners in life. They are individuals who have their own identity" 

When a father slaps his son, it is considered usual, but if a son slaps his father then it is considered as unusual, irrespective of the reason or cause.

We should form any opinion on the basis of isolated or personal incidence, let it be confined to personal, and not entire gender is to blamed.

If an women called “Geeta” has misused the law then it does not mean that

To Sivani & Aishwarya,

Some points in reply of your posting.

1) A girl can very well argu on her like or dislike about house hold duties and about timings of office before marraige (there is a very sweet period after engagement which is meant for such discussion only or even at the time of first few meetings before even engagement). She can very well say that I would do job and hence we would hire a maid etc. etc.....even after marraige that discussion can be carried out and since both are earning I don't think any husband would mind if wife wants to have maid for all house hold work....in fact in reality this is how most of the working wifes in metros live with maid.

2) If your husband/MIL has even hurted you, you (if working) can very well get separated for a period of time and after some time I am sure every thing would be sorted out with discussion....where is the need for filing cases with allegations like dowry demand, physican and mental torture related to dowry, tried to kill the wife etc. etc and etc.

3) If you blam boy's mother then let me tell you most of the matrimonial cases get to their worse ending because of wife's parent's interfearance into couple's life.....when you say women have been conditioned to stay with parent in laws etc. etc and again etc.....then why after marraige (here I  am talking about most and not all) wife's mother usually gives advice which is not good for joint family.

4) Even if we beleave that your MIL was dominating....I don't think it can be that much so that you need to get them arrested and give false allegation which you can't prooved

5) Even afte filing the case, when husband's side (here also I am beleaving that husband might have neglected wife in some or other way) comes for a compromise, you show arogance and either ask for money to settle or put all such condition which can't be acceptable to any of husband (mind it here you are not asking any thing with love and trust but with GUN POINTED ON THEIR HEAD)

6) And after all with passing of some year, if you get maintenance (if you are not working) but its not as per your expectation or you and your husband decide to get separated (MIND IT WITH SETTLEMENT AMOUNT) and when the husband also starts living his life with somewhat peace (THE AGONY WOULD REMAIN THERE LIFE-LONG) and gets used to singlehood......

then come to such website crying that I got less settlement/maintenance, cheated by my advocate, is law really favour women etc, etc and finally etc.

My questin is.....

1) If you are not comfortable (if you are not working), overburdened (if you are working) with house-hold duties....then why can't you simply discuss this issue with help of same elders who got you two married? - But here ego of both the Parent In Laws comes in.

2) If compromise can't be finalised then why can't both try to leave separate for a period of time and then decide the future course of action?

3) If after some period of time, if neigther party changes their stand then why can't both decide for Mutual Divorce with reasonable alimony? and then use your marital experience in finding a new perfect partner if you wish to get married or leave alone/with parents happily.

4) What is the need of filing false cases which would break the relationship with no hope of reconciliation?

5) Did police/court came into picture while you got married then what is the need in case of separation?

Through my personal experience....I really beleave that reconciliation/reunion always happens if no party files any false allegation/criminal cases against each other....in that case Time will take his course and both husband & wife would start missing/loving each other even more than ever (as their is alwasy greater love after a period of separation).....

The bottom line is

"Sai thaga preet ka mat todo chatkay......Jode se phir naa jude.....jude gath pad jay....Kabira....Jude gath pad jaye"

@ pc

hats off to you! i must salute u for your wonderful analysis.......sir or madam(whoever u r,)how did u guess that my marital problem was not so severe that i crazily filed cases?

who told u that i filed cases immeditely after marriage without showing patience and that my hubby came for a compromise which i did not want?seems u are someone with mystic powers who can read into my past...........

i can write my entire case here and then u alone judge if my case needed legal help or not.............

but i dont have patience to type so much nor the inclination to prove anything to u.as i said in my earlier posts also people may think i filed case to extort money and that it's their own thinking...........

god bless u and ur thinking!

@Aishwarya,

I am Mr. PC......My points are general and I said in reply to your post...at no point I mentioned that you did this and that…….As you might be speaking from you experience…I am speaking from my experience and of the experience of some of my friends who also got burnt like me into this hell.

The only few points I want to mention are..

1)       If you have any issues….Everyone should clearly mention there priorities before marriage and in volatile situation….after marriage also could be discussed.

2)       If one gets harassed by one or more persons, then should be discussed with them with the help of wise people of the community.

3)       If can’t find conclusion, then should go for divorce.

4)       If want to take revenge (so called justice), then should file factual allegation against only those people and should not make all of them suffer with false allegation which eventually you would not be able to prove.

5)       498a is a very fatal to relationship and should not be used in any case (except death or serious injuries), Crpc 125 & DV gives all the required remedy if you feel to take revenge and was harassed.

6)       Once you took revenge (justice), then should not blame anyone….because you got what you wanted (Revenge/Justice I guess), maintenance for livelihood (now court would ask based on merits, income and liabilities of husband) in the method you wanted (from Police and court and not from community).

7)       The title of this thread is “Do these laws really favor women”….then My answer would be still “YES” and if its NO as per anybody then give objective reasons as Wife got what she wanted in the manner she wanted.

I am no one madam to know your story and don’t want to know as well…..

The conclusion of my previous post was….that in matrimony….the things should be sorted out through discussion and not through force…..if you can’t agree with each other party then should part away with piece because by getting into false allegation, blames you would get your revenge/justice/materialistic things but would not get piece for sure.  

@ PC

A good reply (read neutral justification)

The post started with right note but somewhere down the line it become personal and then subjective and ended up like acrimonious matrimonial relationship directly or indirectly by various participants to this post is what I feel. Take eg. of another post here on men Impotent...... something like that.  It was also a nice starting post but became too personal.

@PC,

Really appreciate your views. I wish ur posts should be read by people who are about to spoil thier mental peace and will act accordingly..

Those who have drafted the law were not fool. If someone has misused the law, then to so many it has protected also. The issue is to stop it's misuse and strict implementation, so that every women feel safe and secure. Going and fighting at courts itself is a harassment for women and for this reason so many (most of) cases go unreported, and they prefer to keep quiet than to face this type of harassment.

At least they are not killing and torturing physically to their husbands in cruel/brutal manner as most of the husband does with their wives for even small mistakes. Fighting court/legal battle and harassing legally cannot be equated/compared with the physical cruelty or brutal murder of wives. Recently a person of my area killed his wife by setting her on fire in the bathroom with her hands and feet tied on Deepawali, reason she has produced five daughters in a row. What more pathetic is Police even refused to write/lodge FIR in spite of pressure from the whole society and her caste/community men, since Police was bribed.

Would anybody liked or have courage to be lynched with their hands and feet tied with rope to feel the pain?

When they (women) will be pushed to the corner then why not they will use their tool for self defense provided by the law?

It is simply disgusting to blame or demonise entire women and womanhood on such type of trivial personal, isolated matters.

u please go to family court wenever u r free, also go to 498 a court. u will urself come to know 95% of cases are filed by ladies are false. one case goin in front of me. judge asked why u filed complaint against ur SIL. she replied she(SIL) is running a beauty parlour in her govt accomodation. THE FACT WAS  her husband was accomodated by his bro as he had no place to live in metro, so for the time being he acomodated his bro in his official accomodation. u cannot justify living in others house then sending them jail for their hospitality. i wish ur wife files a false 498a on u mr ashutosh one day wen u get late from office  due to ur car puncture . u weill realise only then . amen

See I am well aware of these things, and I am happy that at least womens are learning to fight and exercise their right whether it is true or false. Let them enjoy their freedom after a long period of supression.

Strength recognises strength.

Dedicate ur suffering to those who have benefitted with these acts. Do not be personal.

@ Ashutosh

You have no basic idea on drafting of Law it seems to have made a irresponsible general comment above "Those who have drafted the law were not fool."

I am posting a seperate post titled as "PWDVA LAW INTERPRETED" and after reading it through your comment on drafting a Law and request not to make irresponsible comments without understanding process of Law making and general public and stake holders comment goes into making a Law. 

Rgds.

We have seen what is happening in Bihar, Karnataka and U.P. legislatures. Why the Constitution allows such things? When there is a murder, police takes over. Who takes over when this mayhem continues. Did those who drafted the Constitution have the foresight to imagine that these legislators would degenerate themselves to such depth. What mechanism they put into the Constitution whereby such hooliganism would be sniffed out by a force that is not within the legislature precincts.

They were just mortals. Nothing more. I would go so far as to say that the Constitution is a mute spectator. If our representatives behave in such a manner there ought to be an external force to weed them out not the authority of speaker and which automatically swings into action. The slinging match between the judiciary and legislature is a great spectacle. In the name of privileges, they are killing democracy itself.

@Ashutosh,   Hats off to you for understanding the plight that women go through.  I wish there were more men like you around then there would not be so many cases also.  Look with what honesty and sincerity Renuka & Aishwariya are talking about how they suffered. No matter how objectively they have tried to talk but immediately it is personalizedt and attacked.  This is exactly how these same men would have behaved with their wives - traumatised and abused them with their unobjective thinking and now when they are suffering the consequences they are crying from the roof tops.  No woman goes to the court till she has tried every possible way to save her marriage.  It is no fun for anyone to go through the traumatizing court procedures to say the least.  The way you guys talk as if the women are sitting in the court and enjoying. If you guys are fair enough to her for what you have put her through and what she will be put through in the future why would she run to court for the pitance they dole out in the name of just maintaining herself.  If you can have a life, why can't she have one too.  Why should only one party come out scanted. Yes she is scanted because our socio-economic scenario is that and will be that for another few decades.   No matter what except for a few women like the pepsi CEO and the likes, the man always climbs the ladder faster for several gender reasons and sacrifices on the woman's part and when it comes time to be fair and shell out, he cries hoarse even on the pitance amount doled out by the courts.  I wonder what would happen to these same indian men if it was like the west where they shell out  50%.  Yes they have irretrievable breakdown but it does not delink the responsibility that goes with the marriage.  Yes, you cannot force one to live with one who they don't want to but you also can't remove them fromt he responsibility they took up by marrying.  If you don't want the responsibility then don't marry in the first place. Who forced you to? Did the girl rape you to say yes to her?

Sivani Madam,

1) As you claim that Men would not understand women's plea...Similarly Women don't understand problems Med might be suffering with in and out of home/office. so lets not go into that otherwise the discussion would never end.

2) As no one forced Men to get married...Similarly no one can force women to get married against his wish or you can go to police (you would love to) to complaint against those person who are forcing you (doesn't matter if you are major or not) - Now don't blame society as previous posts ...please I am sick of it.

3) If we belive that husband didn't give you money you asked for or in whatever didn't agreed to you - Does it mean you would charge him and his family with Dowry, Attempt to murder, physical/mental torture etc. etc and etc. Just as you now I can also understand why your life might have broken and because of whom!

4) Every Men/Women is free to think/discuss carefully about there priorities and opportunities that they might miss in case of marraige - So don't cry here for missing opportunities.

5) You mentioned "Look with what honesty and sincerity Renuka & Aishwariya are talking about how they suffered"

I can't see if they are honestly and ofcourse sincerly talking about how they suffered except below post by them

Aishwarya's Post - https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/Seeking-legal-advice-on-giving-dowry--15158.asp - This post says why court orders arrest of dowry givers !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
&
https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/question-regarding-lawyer-s-fee--21464.asp - This post talks about how to get her money back after pocketing the money from husband as they did not need to charge husband with all the laws decided earlier and only few of them worked to extort money from him !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Renuka's Post -
https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/Regarding-divorce-21381.asp - This talks about how to take divorce when husband is christian and wife is hindu !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
&
https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/e-mail-evidence-20763.asp - This talks about whether email can become evidence against wife or not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

In none of the above they have mentioned any dowry demand/cruelty etc. etc. and etc. from husband and family...

6) finally again I am saying that the answer to the title of this thread is a big "YES" and if law does not favour women then whom does it favour as
i) Women gets maintenance/justice/revenge/protection/shared-house hold/imprisonment of husband and family and in a possition to extort money by point gun on husband's head -- Whereas husband can't even get child's visitation and divorce without coughing up money

So what is the point of dragging this discussion....Is it to make awareness of women's plea and to justify false allegations of dowry demand and cruelty if someone felt harrased/supressed because of some other pity things of married life??????????????

PRESENT MATRIMONIAL LAWS ARE INHUMANE; IT NOT ONLY FAVOUR WOMEN BUT ALSO INCLINED AND  BIASED AGAINST MALE.

NOT ONLY LCI,  SIFF, 498A AND ALL PROMINANT MATRIMONIAL SITES WE SEE MALES ARE AGREEVED, ALL THEY ARE FOOLS? TORTURE WIFE?

WHY SC  SAYS HMA BREAKING THE HOME MORE THAN MAKING IT?

MATRIMONIAL LAWS NOT CONSTUCTING MATRIMONIAL HOME,

BUT CONSTRUCTING MATRIMONIAL JAIL.

arop ji join siff and we shold work to have these laws acting only in case of evidence in form of physical injury, forceful burning and death. in fact i m in favour of making only death penalty for dowry death, as it is rarest of rare crime against humanity. or 498a should be repealed and death/physical violence caused by husband should invite double the normal punishment.but law shud not be so biased so as to handover husbands family to police only on basis of false accusitions by an abla(read bala) nari.

i appeal all of those suffering false 498a to fight it tooth and nail and launch criminal prooceedings against other side to teach tem a lesson for making false statement just to trouble u.