False illegal marriage

she could have tricked him to propose, why have s*x and then blackmail? girls play all games to win a guy which is fine if the intentions are also fine. this lady has used her body to get this guy. seduced him like a B grade movie vamp.

people who are already married are living under harassment and threats of false cases etc. etc.

here is a guy who is clear who doesnt want to be with her (for reasons only he knows).

if, now taking advice from the forum,  he forgets what happened and starts a married life with her - he will forever be under her authority (and it doesnt seem like she fights a fair game). choice is author's, protect himself now. or jump in , and let the timebomb tick. protect yourself later in future.

@author   - you should be very very sure that you will endure whatever she puts you through, if you start your married life even for ONE DAY (with or without s*x) with half mind, you are completely under her mercy. i suggest until you are sure what you want to do, dont spend time with her.  but why do you think she chose you over any other guy? let us know.

Sir, I always told her that marriage cannot happen between us. Not only me, but my mother also used to say the same thing to her. Even then, she tricked me. I would have thought of being with her if she had came directly. But with so much planning and trickery? No-way.

As for why she chose only ME? let me try to sum it up:- 

1] I am the only son in the family. No brothers or sisters.

2] It means that all the property of my parents will be mine later on. And, she has seen what kind of property we have here. Since she used to live in the house we rented, which is in the centre of the city and commands a huge value.

3] My Job. Merchant Navy. It is a high paying job.

4] Her freedom to do anything. I will be sailing on the high seas and she could do WHATEVER she wants and with WHOEVER she want, without interruption or any fear. She has some relation going on with her accomplice guy, with whom, she tricked me into this.

I think those are pretty strong reasons. As far as legality of this marriage is considered.

1] There were no rituals like Saptapadi, etc. NOTHING AT ALL. I can prove that.

2] No elders were present. Not even the priest.

3] There is no marriage certificate or anything to legalize or atleast show that this happened.

4] They forcibly took my signature on Legal Non-Judicial Bond which stated that marriage occured. It is signed by the Notary. But as far as I know, unless and until it is signed by Addtional District Judge or someone with a rank like that, That legal paper holds no value.

5] I have a copy of their chat conversations which shows all of their planning out in open.

Now my thinking is: -

1] I never started any life with her. She lives with her parents and I live with mine.

2] Since the legality of this marriage is almost Non-Existant, I am thinking of completing my training and then, prepare myself for legal battle. Please correct me on this one.

3] Even if she files atrocities case, and I know that she can do it, she won't be able to prove it. And as far as I know, she won't do that. Since this would open up the truth to her parents too. Yes, her parents don't know that this thing happened.

4] My final option is to go and tell HER parents that she is doing these sorts of things and harassing me. I don't know how far it would help, but it should.

Any suggestions and corrections would be of great help. Thank you all very much......

I am not lawyer but it is my advise Better sit and solve the problem before she go to court. 

I had tried settling the issue by sitting and talking.... didnt work out quite... I am still trying to give it another go

I had tried settling the issue by sitting and talking.... didnt work out quite... I am still trying to give it another go

i think so far you are good. in her chats/emails with her friend, is there any mention of property/money?

you need a good lawyer, proper legal advice/action.

experts can suggest.

Originally posted by : Harsh
	i think so far you are good. in her chats/emails with her friend, is there any mention of property/money? you need a good lawyer, proper legal advice/action. experts can suggest.

Nope no mention of all that. But there is a definite plan to trick me.

Harsh @ Just to answer your first note.

1. Your first question is -

she could have tricked him to propose, why have s*x and then blackmail?

As far as s*x is concerned, you know well who goes first to ask for. This guy said that it was "consensual" s*x. It means he was very much ready on the bed when this thing happend. I am not too sure why we are looking only one part of it i.e. "This lady was ready"! Yes, it's a bad from this lady side that she allow herself to be used by a guy, who is not ready for the marriage.

So, now question is blackmail. If my memory serves me properly then this guy said she blackmailed him stating that she would commit suicide. Quite obiviously, any Indian lady who has been slept with a guy and is a little bit traditional in nature would do the same thing or atleast say the same thing.

2. Your second question is -

this lady has used her body to get this guy. seduced him like a B grade movie vamp.

Even though, I am a accussed of 498a case I would not say a woman a "B grade movie vamp" until and unless, I know the other side of the story too. Even a prostitute is also the creation of a man's desire. It's not a prostitute who comes to a man's house, it's a man who goes to a prostitute's house. I am not feminist but I don't want to be unbaised here. We should not be judging people based on a line that she blackmailed me. What really happened, is all what matters -

a. Chat conversation - As per his very recent post, he is not clear if anyone else could make-out a improper planned operation story after going through the chat conversation otherthan himself.

b. Doubtful/Dubious - He is earning high and holding good amount of wealth so it's obvious that it will bring more and more insecurity to him. He is trying to connect everything with money whereas I haven't seen a single line where it's being mentioned that she used him financially as well.

c. "they forced me to sign on stamp paper stating that whatever happens to the girl, it is my responsibility and all" - My understanding is that if this girl's commit suicide then it should be the responsibility of this guy. If s*x was a mutual act so the punishment should be mutual too.

3. Your third question is -

he will forever be under her authority (and it doesnt seem like she fights a fair game).

This depend on the nature of this girl. He said -

I would have thought of being with her if she had came directly. But with so much planning and trickery? No-way.

He has the grief that she did NOT come to him through a proper way. He is simply pissed-off from her act of planning whereas it seems to me a plan with good intention falls under the wrong line of misunderstanding and communication gap between two people. No doubt, he would not go for marriage with this girl but just wanted to clarify all the things from otherend as well.

@Author - Please do NOT take anything personally, you are too young to understand this as of now.

Mango

@ Mango

Answer to your first question: -

She was 23 when s*x happened. Let's say I was ready. What happened to her brains? FYI, she was studying MSc. Biochemistry which deals with exact this topic. At 23, she is supposed to be more mature than me. If she had said NO, I can't obviously force her.

2nd question

As per my recent answer on chat conversation, I said that "THERE IS NO MENTION ABOUT PROPERTY OR MONEY." That doesn't mean  that there was no plan to trap me. Its right there in those conversations and I am very clear about it. The mention of money or property might have taken place when they had called each other numerous time.

As I told earlier too, I made it very clear to the girl that a marriage is impossible and she was okay with that. As a matter of fact, I proposed to another girl with full knowledge of her. If she had any problem or feelings, why didn't she respond then? Why NOW? And having said that, she entered the relationship knowing fully the conditions, so how am I supposed to be responsible for whatever happens to her?

3rd question

I never told that if she had came straight up, I would have had accepted her. I only told that things would have been much simpler and straight-forward if she would have come directly to me instead of using trick, blackmail etc.

@Mango

no comments

@ Mango

As i told earlier, this girl and her friend, with whom she tricked, both are in a relation. I can say that for sure because as I learned from their chats, matters went to as far as kissing and that too just some 1 week before she forced me to marry her by threatening suicide and just to reminnd you, it was a chat. Matters might have gone much further when they met, because they constantly used to. So my question is,

When she knew that I proposed another girl and am in a relation, why didn't she confront me then and there itself? Had there been true love or anything, almost any Indian girl would do that thing first. Why not then? Why now?

Next, when she has a relation with another guy, why she blackmailed me to Marry her? It could be to push the blame of their mistake on me, or a whole lot deep planning. So, this girl is not as innocent as we think. She made a pakka plan and trapped me, there is no doubt regarding that

Better , to file a complaint to the police station narrating all the facts what has happend, with all the documents you have about her and also furture course of action they are about to action against you.Definetly, they will help you.If they didnt help you, approach the higier authorities, in this regard.

srishaila,advocate,bangalore,9741425514,sdharani120@gmail.com

@author

you are old enough to understand what she did, definitely after your experience.  (she has an ongoing affair with her real interest and in parallel wants you to marry her  so she can settle with that guy or continue having her affair).

you didnt use her, she tried to use you but you are not letting her.

now you should just listen to a lawyer like @srishaila above.

Sir, I have some doubts I would like to  clarify: -

1] since the whole thing is illegal with no marriage certificate or what-so-ever, would it help if I just leave it at that and move on with life?

2] What potential troubles can I face after 3 years?

thanks for all the help.... once I get answers for these, I would think of furthur action. I am restraining myself from filing a complaint and all because a girl's life and her family's reputation is at stake. Just because she did not think all that, does not mean I won't think about it too.....

1) Not having a Marriage certificate doesnt mean marriage did not happen. WITNESSES are there.

also you should know that certificate is issued AFTER the marriage is conducted, which means marriage done.

2) you worry about the girl's reputation then either live like a husband or amicably convince her to close this chapter.

no criminal, illogical or irresponsible person thinks of the consequences. very common, nothing new. thats why law doesn't spare anyone - how much ever innocent or corrupt.

3) you want to keep yourself  safe, then you need a legal solution. I dont know what exactly it is, you should hire a lawyer.

4) It is common sense - if you were forced to do something you didnt wish to by some strangers, it is YOUR DUTY to report it to the police. you may ask them not to take any action but to counsel the parties to drop this whole episode now itself.  but reporting it is in your own benefit. the police is capable of doing this.

5) I think your troubles will come only if it is accepted as a lawful marriage by either the society or law itself.

I think if you really don't want this marriage, you have to file a police report. Why did you wait for so long etc. qns will be put.

6) You cant pretend to be nice and caring, then avoid by escaping. For a permanent solution either accept her or face the Police/Law now itself.

7) Her reputation is already tossed, your visit to PS wont make it any worse.

Let this forum know what you decided and what actions you took - helps others in some ways.