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Krishna (Engg)     10 October 2024

Finance in marriage

Hindu. Married for 2 yrs. Baby girl(5 months).I am Nursing . I am working & journey is 1.5hr from inlaws. My husband promised to shift near ofc but now stubborn to shift. He is asking me to buy a flat and demanding money from my dad.He did not pay single rupee for my pregnancy and delivery check up in hospital. Everything is paid by my dad. He is not allowing to give some money from my salary to my dad. Dad is working but has a home loan, my sister & her 5 yr kid are dependent on him. What should I do? Divorce him? He will not accept for mutual 



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 8 Replies

kavksatyanarayana (subregistrar/supdt.(retired))     10 October 2024

Do you want to divorce as your husband is not allowing you to give the amount to your father?  Are your inlaws residing separately?  You talk to your inlaws amicably and tell them your father's position.  Is your husband working and in which place?  Divorce is not the way to solve all the problems.  You can decide.

Krishna (Engg)     10 October 2024

They can't understand the position. Instead of supporting financially when my sister is dependent on my dad, my husband is asking to spend the same amount of money which my dad spends on her kid (including education) on my baby girl. Literally he is asking to adopt my baby without authority. 

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     11 October 2024

Your husband cannot demand money from your father to buy a house, it can be termed as dowry demand and he can be punished if found guilty of the offence.

After marriage, it will not be your responsibility to take care of your father for any reason that too against your own family interest. You cannot cite this as a reason for divorce.

Besides, 1.5 km from your home to your work place is not a big distance hence that cannot be considered as a reason.

Don't take any decision in haste to repent over it for life long.

You should have patience to face the world, this will not solve all your problems, you cultivate the habit of facing the challenges which will make you a strong person to confront all the eventualities in future.

Real Soul.... (LEGAL)     11 October 2024

If he is really a bad person and is demanding money from you, you should then decide for your future. Just stay in your dad's home for some time and don' respond to him or to his calls or demands so that good sense may prevail upon him. If he still did not get well then send him legal notice stating to stop harassment and demand of dowry, that will be proof for your future actions. At this time just collect your valued belongings and jewelry and stay at your father’s home.

adv.raghavan (Advocate,9444674980)     13 October 2024

demanding money itself is harassment, if u had decided to get parted u can explore all the possibilities. but u have to decide on post-divorce life before venturing into anything as you are aware various laws are there to protect pecuniary interest.

Krishna (Engg)     14 October 2024

Not 1.5km, 1.5 hrs travel time. How come it's not my responsibility just because I am married? My parents has no sons. Who takes care of them ? I am not asking my husband's money to help my father right?  It's my salary. Taking care of in laws shouldn't also be my responsibility in that case. 

P. Venu (Advocate)     14 October 2024

to my understanding, not pemitting a daughter, even if married, to take her of her parents amounts to marital cruelty. However, divorce has long reaching and ever lasting consequences. Please use your discretion wisely.

 

 

 

H.M.Patnaik (Proprietor)     15 October 2024

Once married , you have responsibility towards both families. 

As I gather from your post, you feel oppressed by your husband's attitude towards you and your family. Since both of you are earning members, it is undoubtedly true that a little independence in decision making is expected from the spouse. First of all , it would me my advice to sit down with your husband with the blessings of family seniors to understand the priorities to run the family smoothly with joint effort . You have used the word stubborn for your husband, keep it in mind the same can be used for you. First try to find out the paramount needs of your new family and how  both ends can be met, then take step for separation if it serves your purpose. Think of your child. In case your place of work is too far , you can always work on other options   being a qualified Nurse like looking for an alternative job or source of income. 

All said and done, I donot disagree that you have a duty towards your parents and impose financial burden on their shoulders but only remind you that the very same parents have arranged your marriage despite all difficulties that you can lead an assured and better life with your life partner. So, be calm & patient and take wise decision. Best wishes.


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