First step contested div if i dont want divorce

If you are not interested in divorce then contest the case.  Under what ground he has sought divorce?

He filed the divorce on cruelty grounds... tht i abuse him beat him attempts suicide.. and all rubbish whatever he can write he has written in that petition...

1. If your husband is going around with another woman and you caught him red-handed and called police too then you made a mistake not to file charges.


2. See the next day he sent a "Notice" to ask for his 'freedom".  Now if his divorce suit gets dismissed if he is not able to prove his allegations then he will come back to "shared household" [off course where else he is supposed to go then] and then after relaxing for few days he starts again same extra narital stuffs then what will you say to forum " see I didnot again want to press charges or how are you supposed to act" THINK ALOUD NOW !

An eye opener not necessarily relatign to your facts but this also happens in society https://ibnlive.in.com/news/s*x-worker-tries-to-escape-clients-wife-dies/250816-3.html 


3. If you have the mind set not to bear either the "mental cruelty" allegations and/or "second woman"  in your marriage and on top you are not pressing charges on his extra marital affairs then what exactly you want from Court? Society does not need such abalas for god sake in 21^st. century. Husband should be behind bars is what society expects from you.


As you tell us he has filed for divorce and even in court re-conciliation proceedings before counselor(s); if you weep and to save your marriage and he says NO - NO then re-conciliation fails and not that it will get PASSED in your favour as you are made to think and thus you are able to save your marriage. Even if you place as material records a well drafted reply to get dismissed his divorce then what in reality happens ? Technicaly only on papers marriage is saved but not in real life is my view.


Nobody expects you to bear anyhting!!!


Best is to move out of this marriage also and again try a third time all this is said for a reason;  "to a un-willing husband no Court can make him agree to save his marriage".

What people who cheat fail to understand is that marriage is a 'contract of exclusivity'.  It is an institution where the two – husband and wife decide to live together with a mission of fulfilling each other's needs. So when the contract of exclusivity is breached, or overlooked it brings the marriage to a stage of vulnerability which may even lead to dissolution.

Comparatively it takes much more effort to psychologically heal the husband of the cheating wife than the wife of the cheating husband. The difficulty in healing the marriage is marked by the husband's obsessive thought pattern around the act of cheating. It requires him to work on letting go of the obsession. Whereas incase of the cheating husbands, the wife needs to be given reassurance that there will be loyalty in future, if at all there is one together.


Thus you will hear more on the 're-assurance part' from fellow Advocates than me !

I have full sympathy.  But, after getting caught him red-handed, you could not do any thing.  Precisely neither you nor police can do any thing as it is not a criminal offence.  If polilice is moral police, they may put him under different charges but not for having extra-marital relationship.  That will not solve your problem.  He is promiscuous.  If you can bear with him, then it is O.K.You may be having your own reasons for not giving divorce.  You decided not to give divorce, contest the case with all your energy.  The responsibility is on him to prove cruelty against you.  You can and have to disprove his charges.  But you must be careful while filing your counter (reply) to his petition.  Do not put any allegation against him. 

Dear All,

Thanks for your Valuable Advice, I will do reassessment that what would be the right thing for my life, move on from this marriage and look for some genuine life partner who will accept me unconditionally and will be with me fo whole life.. or to stick with this relationship wherein within one year of my marriage my husband has broken my trust completely and taking advantage of my emotions and love and leaving me with nothing accept defamation, tears and  sadness and insecure life ahead..

He is also not ready to plan baby and tell me to do operation, i did second marriage with lots of hopes to settle in family life and to have secure future ahead.. but all invain, i know he has daughter, but every girl want to become mother atleast once in life.. but my husband tells me to take care of daughter from first mariage and not to plan another baby.

I think i have done the biggest mistake by showing humanity and getting married to someone and trustin to someone whose first wife has attempted suicide ( Imagine what kind of torture he must have given to that lady the way he is giving to me that she has ended her life by hanging herself and left 10 month old daughter behind) ,

I was just 26 when got married and had lot of proposals for issueless divorcee but i selected this man considering that he is the father and must be emotional human being and will be there with me in all the thicks and thins of my life .. but i was wrong.. now after Divorcing me he will be ready to spoil some other girl life tooo...

Dear!

Let bygones be bygones. U can not blame urself that why u married this guy leaving aside all othe GOOD PROPOSALS. TRUST IS BIGGEST BOND OF THE MATRIMONIAL LIFE. Take ur time & think from begining till date. If u r clear in ur mind that TRUST IS GONE FROM UR MARRIED LIFE...................no point lingering it anymore, may be u will get depression & suicidal tendencies.

No partner can be forced to live with a non-willing spouse.So in my view, only 2 options are left

1) If u see any love or trust left in u about this man..................try ur best to convince him to preserve this bond, that too till some extent. See if councelling can help. What I said that u can force him to cohabit with u.

2) Better admit the reality n work on MCD with recovery of ur genuine things+ agreeable alimony

rajiv