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HARRASSED PERSON (SOFTWARE DEVELOPER)     19 September 2011

For god's sake! please help me!! please!

Dear All,

Please once go through my situation, i m really depressed i got married in JAN 2011 after about 2 months when my in-lwas came to take my wife with them both family had a big fight . They insulted my family and demanded to give all the gold to the girl we suspect that they wanted to rob us, we have heard such case in our relation and family freinds than after 15~20 days to tackle this we organised a meeting with them but their behavior was bad, they don't felt any sorry for what they did after from march to till now my wife is at her parent's Please guide how to legally get separated if my wife is not willing too the reason for separation i have is - my inlaws insulted my family - my inlaws in 1.5 months called my wife every day and tried hard to spoil her - like they told her to join a job , go to computer center to learn computer , go out every day, take custudy of all the gold, etc. - since we were not ready to bring my wife back - my inlaws went to all of our relatives to humiliate us - we came to know later thatmy sister in law who is younger to my wife have afffair with boys and status of my in-laws is also not good in society and we seriusly doubt their credibility and their intensions behind marriage.

Heartfully Requesting you to all the members Please suggest what I should do?

Your Friend,

XYZ



Learning

 6 Replies

Found the Happiness (Enjoying)     19 September 2011

Dear XYZ,

·         First of all be clear that exactly what you want 1) Divorce 2) Equal Compromise 3) They should bend down & Compromise 4) You will bend down & Compromise.

·         If you are thinking about Divorce then its not so easy….. To get the final destination of Divorce you will have to go through lots of painful stages like 498A, Domestic Violence, Etc. Don’t hurry-up to see the gate of court otherwise you will waste your whole life in court premises only.

·         Now legally she is your wife then however her background and family you must accept her. You should had to do this investigation b4 marriage not now. Most important ask your parents too “NOT TO LOSE THE TEMPER” & suggest them to play this game with a cool mind, cool words & unbeatable strategies. This affects a lot. Each & every word you & your family will speak in front of relative & other people that should be a part of well planned strategies. Never show any fault from your side.

·         I will strictly suggest you don’t go for RCR also it is an invitation for hell. RCR is sign of coward. Prove that whatever steps they take against you have the dare to defense it.

·         Don’t worry if she comes back then be aware of their intention & behave properly. Go for lots of reading on this topic, give her so much love but be sticked with your morals & principles, take her to your friends & relatives. (But forget about the teaching of lesson to her or your in-laws) Its very slow process (we can discuss about this process in detail once she comes back) but with lots of faith and efforts you can make her internally forget to her parents she will be completely in your control and you can live in-laws free life. But the problem is how she will come back?

·         If you want them to bend down and surrender in front of you then 100% this is possible by the way of following:

·         Go directly to her for face to face meeting with lots of confidence (In Hercules Style) and ask her what she want? Is she really interested in saving your family? Behave very politely and but not romantic. Try to convince her peacefully. But don’t be agree on her unethical issues and don’t loose temper it will show your weakness.

·         I think she & her parents are interested to make you separate from your parents. If she puts this demand then clearly and with a cool mind say “NO! THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE AT ALL IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCES”. Assure her that she will not have any problem from you & your family but you will not leave your parents at any cost. If she comes then live happily if not then tell her clearly but not angrily that this is the last & final time you trying to save your family but second time you will not gonna come & convince her & then immediately leave from there. After this forget that you are married & live like a bachelor boy don’t even answer their calls until & unless they willingnessly come & surrender.  You have to make them realize that you don’t have any interest in them by keeping quiet. Trust me friend when neighbor, relatives & other people will start gossiping against them they will feel shy, her parents will think of committing suicide. Your wife cant go out and their life will be worse than Hell. This is the best punishment that you can give them ever.

·         Live peaceful life as I said in my last article concentrate on other things like career, higher studies, hobbies, meditation, lots of readings on this topic & create a great man out of this opportunity of loneliness as I said loneliness is a gift of God you can create a huge/great HERO out of yourself.

·         But don’t go for any legal steps as this is socio-family issue with having full of emotions don’t convert it into legal it will give you lots of trouble like false 498A, DV, etc. Be cool and just face whatever comes in front of you.

·         Don’t think about divorce also if it has to happen it will happen automatically. If you go with the proposal of divorce then as per law you will have to suffer a lot. Let her come with that proposal then you will no need to suffer any.

·         You just keep quiet and enjoy your life. This is her issue also let her take the decision of this issue then everything will happen as per your choice.

·         I think you are so innocent so they are just trying to provoke you and their intention is just to take the control on you & your family. Don’t be entrapped in their strategies.

·         Remember this is just a game of patience. Who have more patience he wins this battle. & who loses a temper he loses a battle.

2 Like

Anil Agrawal (Retired)     19 September 2011

And don't forget the Congress for Shah Bano and 498A. Now proposed Communal Violence law.

 Did Churchill say this wjen India was granted freedom:

 

Power will go to the hands of rascals, rogues and freebooters. All Indian leaders will be of low caliber and men of straw. They will have sweet tongues and silly hearts. They will fight among themselves for power and India will be lost in political squabbles.

Does it hurt? It shouldn't in the land of scams.

prabhakar singh (advocate)     19 September 2011

Dear xyz! 

No one can advise better than a sufferer.Rightly said "experience is a great teacher but its fees is very costly".

This is why it is wisdom that one learns from those experiences of others but as they come free,instead of adopting them happily ,we start to experience our own ignoring valuable advises.


(Guest)

ekdum chor pamily mein shaadi huela hai... chori proove karo...  aajkal shaadi mein chori karna bahuth aasaan hogaya hai... divorce karo ya na karo lutne wala hai...

AugustPunitha (lawyer)     19 September 2011

.Through common relatives  you return her jewels to your wife.Please have a  witten undertaking when you return her jewels or household articles.Please be calm. Try to address your wife with patience it will yield better results and less legal problems

A. A. JOSE (LAWYER; LEGAL ADVISER/CONSULTANT& TRAINER)     19 September 2011

You have the options - either to go for divorce or proceed for amicable resolution of issues.  Your marriage was only 2 months old when your in-laws visited to take your wife to her home. This is too little a time for both the families to know each other well.  Therefore, probably, your own assumptions about their real motives need not be hundred per cent correct.  To err is human and mistakes of perception can be of either side.   In this Club,   there is no dearth of members who were either victims of broken marriages or votaries for breaking marriages and as such  you will be flooded with supports  for  immediate breaking up your  marriage and crusifying your wife and her family members.  However, being the one who will have to single handedly  face the  dire cosequences of such a broken marriage if and when that happens, it would be wise on your part to deeply  introspect  before jumping on any hasty decisions .