Readers, Catch up on this person's write-up
Member by name - I Walk Alone
Excellent words of Wisdom. Seems to be a person RICH-BY-EXPERIENCE of Life's Matrimonial Aspect. His Mathematical Equation is a nice proposition.
Except for the part where he mentions counsellors' role ( counsellors are almost always ineffective, in the Indian Scenario with a huge variety of life-styles ), most of the part of his write-up reflects wisdom and realization based on experience.
Must Read, for every person seeking to understand the factors that break NORMALCY AND BALANCE in a family.
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As per my opinion, each & every Matrimonial case must be routed through certified cousellor. I strongly feel, most of the divorce cases start from Misunderstanding, Ego-clashes & difference of upbringing & ofcource unwanted intervention of elders in a couples life & decisions. I strongly feel, if a couple who are matured engough to say yes to their marriage are also intelactual enough to sort out the differences in between. We can not expect to match up different mind sets at one go & solve the problems & who's life dont have problems? I feel even the God also have problems but as it says, "Its all about attitude & perceptions" Just imagine, in our mortal life, what could happen if we start taking decisions only after listening to our elders? & what would happen to the couples' decision making process, when they wont be there anymore? Hence our elders must also understand their roles as guides not decision makers for the married couples. Be it brides family or even grooms family.
We have moved forward in our though process, but our legal system has not or may be their speed is very slow compared to our thought process & being the so-called "CLEVER THINKERS" some lawyers(read liars) mis-use the code of conduts in family laws(which are very very old)
I came to this website, trying to get a solution of my own problem, but got to know about many others which are even more serious than mine and also found some great moderators & lawyers whose advices are quite good.
Overall I understoon one thing, the day, the couple decides to move to court to solve their martial problem, the very same day, Marriage/Relationships are over forever. Hence, our legal system, must ensure, before the petition is filed by the couple, the case must be analysed by the counsellor (Even the DV & 498-As too), so that if at all any chances are there for solving the issue with mutual discussions must be given an opportunity.
Also to add, if any allegation, is hard or impossible to prove, has to be taken off from the law (like proving Impotency etc), Law must be clear, martial intercource taken place or not, what the point of citing the reason in an open forum? Similarly, extra marial affair by either of the spouces also must be proved & decision must be taken, what is the point of citing the reason? I believe it is not evident at all. These kind of changes must be taken into consideration. each family member has some reputation in society and that must be honoured by the court & lawyers too.
Our govt is talking about gender equality now-a-days, but, courts grant alimony (one time/recurring) why so? Laws must be simple for even a begger too. Why a husband has to hide his income from his wife while fighting a divorce case? why wife has to provide false evidences to prove his husband's income? Laws must be simple enough like a normal mathematical equation, (Husband's income + Wife's income) - (Joint Liabilities+ Financial Obligations of both partners) = Couple's disposable income and whomsoever is claiming money from the other, must have clear & certified proofs (Like Rental Agreement, expenditure statement of last 3 months etc) and then alimony claim must be given. Jointly aquired property must be devided euqeally or NOC must be obtained from the other party to retain. (Cont.)
