Hello Experts,
I will need your advise on the following matter:
We are a couple married for past 6 years (since 2004).We had a love marriage (it was a Engineering college romance).We both are Hindus (but from different castes) and have a 3+ years old son.We both are currently employed in reputed company.My age is 31 and my wife is 32.We are currently staying with my parents. This house belongs to my father. I also have a house but I have given it on rent.My wife is the only child.I have a younger brother who is unmarried.Over the period our marital ties have strained to the point that we have reached on the brink of a divorce.
The major reason behind the same being constant interference in our married life from my in-laws side especially from my mother-in-law.My wife has been influenced so much by her that she doesn't believe anyone else but her. Also, the in-laws seem to be suffering from inferiority complex. My parents are having better social and economic status as compared to that of my in-laws.
To share details about our marriage from the start,
My in-laws (from different caste) agreed for the marriage after a lot of perusation from my parents. Her mother was not happy for her daughter being married to a different caste. However, she seem to have agreed then. After our marriage was settled and before our marriage was held, there were noticeable differences in my wife's behavior and temperament which I had never observed before. She started being fussy over trivial things and throw her weight around.She speaks exactly the same words as her mother does (This is true for present as well).
At the start of our married life, we started living in our parents' house (will refer it as "matrimonial' house) along with them. She never felt comfortable in our company. She would go to her parents' house whenever she found an opportunity. She would usually go weekends and come back on Sunday evening. Whenever at home, she used to throw her wait around over trivial things.Here are some instances:
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1.She raised an issue as to why do we eat our dinner late at 9:30 PM while she is used to eating food at 8:00 PM at her house....my parents accomodated and my mother adjusted to her timings. However, as my father and I used to return late from work...we used to have dinner late while my wife ate alone and use to go to her room once she was done.
2.My parents requested that she should treat the matrimonial house as hers but she never did.She instead alleges that we treat her as "Outsider" which was not true at all..instead...our parents tried to accomodate as many demands as possible but she never acknowledged it. When one set of demands used to be met, there was another set of demands that were placed. So it kept on going on to vicious circles.
3.She never participated or shown any interests (she never did and she is not doing it now also) in house-hold shores like cooking,cleaning,etc......as a result, my mother is taking care of everything without asking her to help her out. If she ever cooked, she would cook for herself and for the kid only. She doesn't bother to ask if anyone else has eaten or not. She eats first and then feeds the kid.
4.Even during family functions or ceremonies, she would make excuses and refuse to participate.
5.Whenever any guests or relatives pay us a visit....she would go to the room and refuses to come out and greet the guests (except when her parents came to
our house).
and many more.....
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Over a period of time...things went from bad to worse especially after the kid is born. She had taken to hurling abuses to me in Hindi and English. She talks in a equally bad tone with the parents and brother. No one has ever reacted or complained to her parents for a long time.
She doesn't share the EMI inspite of the fact that the house is in our joint names. She has not paid a single EMI. She asks me to pay for all her auto fares and other petty expenses even though she is earning equally well.
Over a year ago, she not only used to abuse but hit me physically. Since I never wanted to react in front of the kid, I choose to sleep separately from her. I have been doing so since then.
Her temperament has worsened which became too much trouble for us. I could not take it any longer when I told my parents that I will not be take it any longer and expressed my desire for divorce last Sep'10. Since then there have been many meetings between us and their parents and well wishers but she doesn't show improvements. After a long wait, last week I sent a notice to their parents about "divorce through mutual consent". Although there were not allegations in the notice, they have replied with all false allegations against us.
After their reply was received, we had one more meeting in prescence of our respecive lawyers but my wife is in no mood to divorce me.
Why would she? she is getting all the expenses, my mother is making food for all including her,taking care of the kid.
Can anyone of you please advise of any solution of getting divorce from her?
