G.SAM.KUMAR (SERVICE ) 14 April 2011

how cruel for all husbans like me

Hi,

“ I got married to my wife as per special marriage act in kolkata, I am Hindu from Bangalore , she is Christian from kolkata, later I married her as per Hindu customs in temple, we have a 4 year boy , at present both my wife and son staying with my mother in –laws house, after her delivery she started staying with her mothers house, never wanted to come to south, so after three and half years I moved to kolkata and stayed for three months in my mother in-laws house with my wife and son, both of us are working couple, but my earning used to go to all her family members expenses,

My mother in- law is brain washing her since our marriage and interfering in family life. I believe because of her mother, my wife lost her first husband by divorce, she never told me this thing before I marry her. now also she is non- co-operative like not wearing mangalysutra, bindiya, not listing to my word, coming late from office, used to call my son in Christian name, where has I have made my sons birth certificate as per Hindu name and made joined him in pre nursery school as per legal documents with my expenses, Due to non- co-operation from my in-laws and wife, we both had small misunderstanding and used to fight, eventually we fought, now I started staying in my office in kolkata,

All documents are with me, including marriage certificate, marriage photos as per Hindu customs done at temple, my sons birth and school admission certificate

I wish is that , I would like my wife and my son to be with me in my rented house either here in kolkata or in Bangalore and non of her family members should not interfere, brain wash her and my son in our married life

Dear all plz suggest what can I do now, can I make a separate rented house in kolkata for our small family?

After that can I move my case to family court asking her to stay with me with my son? Listen to my word?

Or can I apply for divorce?

What court says in case of second divorce to my wife in her life?

What to move my case in court, in case my wife is not willing to stay with me?

Can I ask for custodial rights of my son? Because he is the only vamshavrudharka of my entire Hindu family?

Please suggest …………..

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(Guest)

My take on your situation:

1.Explore peaceful settlement within family. Find out root cause of issue. Is it money - your money the MIL wants ? Is it the Hindu Christian identity of child an issue ? ( If I were you, I would give up the childs Hindu identity for Christian or any religion in this world in order to bring peace. ). To bring peace to family, I would even start going to church !!!!!! with wife MIL or anyone else.

2. Involve a Marriage Counseller/Family and Marriage Therapist - they are trained to give guidance on bringing peace and importance of marital harmony. Find out the church MIL/Wife go to. You visit that church, fall on your knees in front of the holy priest and tell him your story and seek his help in bringing peace to the family. I am not a Chrisitain but I can tell, the system is very efficient in addressing family/social issues.

3. Get neutral family members/neighbors of her side to mediate in the larger good of the family and kid. Get family elders involved.

4. If the above does not yeild any benefits, make a motion to the court - get restraining order on people who are interfering, harassing, mentally torturing you and bringing unrest in your family. Vacate MIL from CHILD AND WIFE

5. The restraining order is likely to cause tensions - be ready to face music from all corners.

6. Protect your property, cash, assets - keep detailed account so she doesnt come after you for stealing/breach of fiduciary duty etc.

7. If you have evidence of child neglect/child abuse, file FIR, get it documented with medical proffessionals. It will come very handy in getting custody of your kids.

8. As a last resort on this earth, file for divorce and move on. Stop paying MIL any money.

9. Be connected with your child. Take care of him no matter how ugly the divroce gets. Dont lose your cool or your health. Make new friends. Especially the ones going thro similar situation. They can lend you a shoulder.

10. Document all nonsense going on at home so wife doesnt file DV on you- tables turned. Ulta chor kotwal to dante ! Get witnesses and witness statements - utter cruelty.

A hardworking man, loving father, loving husband shouldnt have to dissolve his marriage because a head strung MIL is inhibited with ideas or issues which she cannot communicate with SIL.