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Pinky (HR)     23 March 2012

Husband filed rcr/divorce

Hi

 

I will briefly explain my issue.  My husband and myself staying for past 7 months.  We both are working in Europe but in a different city.  Because of his family interference and torture on money, my husband sent me back to India .  last week he called me and abused me like anything and ordered me to rejoin with him..but he was harsh over phone and used all "BAD" words on me..  I am ready to rejoin with him if his parents/sisters stay away from him and dont interfere in my family.  My hsuband is mom guy..he listens to his mom for each and everything and whtever they dictate he just implement on me.   Now he filed for RCR.  What should I do now?

I want to live with him but I dont want his family members interference in my family...if he is ready for that then i can go and live with him.  At the sametime, I do not want to divorce him also.

Please help how to face the RCR and what are the steps we need to do to contest divorce.  My parents in India received the notice today.



Learning

 17 Replies

adv. rajeev ( rajoo ) (practicing advocate)     23 March 2012

The main for the difrrerence between you and your husband is interference of third person I mean mother.  It happens in every family.  It is better to discuss with your husband and family members to get solve the problems, if necessary take the help of the edlers.

Pinky (HR)     23 March 2012

I explained him manytimes but he wants his family and whatever they dictate..he will just do it without even thinking.   They need divorce actually and they started with RCR.  Can you pls answer the below questions in detail?

1.  Can I contest the RCR from Europe?  If so, what should I do and my hubby is also in Europe

2. If I put conditions like this, will court order him to fulfill the condition that I mentioned and ask him to accept me?  What if court denies it ?

3. Dont we need to appear in person for RCR?  Since both are in Europe currently

Reason behind the RCR is they are trying to threaten me so that I can go and fall on their feet.   pls advice

Pinky (HR)     23 March 2012

Thank you Ashis!

Btw, within how many days we need to send reply after received the notice from court?   and how long will RCR run for?

What if my husband denies my condition? 

sri (ceo)     23 March 2012

adjustment very important... if you are abroad well placed and unstable family, life is meaningless... until something disastrous happens you will not realise these good times... adjust and compromise... dont roam around courts which just add to nuisance in your family life...

Pinky (HR)     23 March 2012

No, I am ready to live with him if he assures his family members wont interfere in our family matters.  As you all know, usually girls takes law first but in my case I am still waiting for him.   All decisions in my family are taken by his parents, sisters and not allowing me to live with him...so I need this assurance from him if yes then I dont have any problem in living with him.

Also, I heard there will be mediation trail..what is that?  How do we proceed that from Europe?

Can someone share a sample RCR formats?

 

Also, I need advice on how to reply to his RCR politely without hurting him at the same time I need to tell him what his family has done for me.  Experts advice expected.  Thanks in advance

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     23 March 2012

Dear Pinkyji,

You said you are also employed in Europe.Then why did you come back to India? The reasons you have submitted have been aptly replied by our experts here.I am sorry to learn your married life was broken within 7 months.Every family will have elders,who depend on their children,I don't think your husband was solely responsiblle for the happennings,you were also a part of it.Both of you should have had Marriage Councelling,which would have sorted out the persisting problems in your married life.Approaching courts for every matter will not solve the problems.In your every word mentioned,you still have a soft corner towards him and love  and affection too.You can reply for the RCR,through your lawyer as you are in India.But still my  sincere suggestion,is that both of you should reconcile,remove all the differences and lead a happy married life.

Pinky (HR)     23 March 2012

Thank you all.

I am not in India and I tried for counselling also..which he did not agree or his parents did not send him me for counselling when I was in India.  We have been married for 3 years but staying separately for last 6+ months.

sri (ceo)     24 March 2012

if he has applied for rcr that means you are demanding things... inspite of good job and staying separate means you must be cornering your finances... and willing to go to court in india may be leaving job there??

what i understand from this is a financial dispute... his parents are if influencing, it means he must be in trouble... something missing... your details are not clear...

we are here to advise good do not mark our words as intruding... think it over... with sharing comes caring... 

Sajag (.)     24 March 2012

 

Your case is highly confusing. 

Quote:

 My husband and myself staying for past 7 months.  We both are working in Europe but in a different city.  Because of his family interference and torture on money, my husband sent me back to India .  last week he called me and abused me like anything and ordered me to rejoin with him..but he was harsh over phone and used all "BAD" words on me..

 

-- So he ordered you when you are staying with him!! I think you are not staying with him. 

Quote:

 I am ready to rejoin with him if his parents/sisters stay away from him and dont interfere in my family.  My hsuband is mom guy..he listens to his mom for each and everything and whtever they dictate he just implement on me.   

-- He is a Mom guy. But he is staying in europe without his family!!! And you are staying Europe on your own. 

Quote:

Now he filed for RCR.  What should I do now?

I want to live with him but I dont want his family members interference in my family...if he is ready for that then i can go and live with him.  At the sametime, I do not want to divorce him also.

-- You are staying separately. Now he would have notified you. You did not listen or try or influence in anyway. You say he is mom guy, so your mind is made up anyway. 

Quote:

Please help how to face the RCR and what are the steps we need to do to contest divorce.  My parents in India received the notice today.

Now you want for contest divorce. Why??? If you want to stay with him and fight in court, do you think is there any 1% chnace he will accept you again???? Ever....???

Lawyers will say 1000 things to you. However good or bad may, lawyers are needed. But then, once he has gone to court and you try to contest, get ready for a divorce and prepare in that way. 

Good luck. Your case is typical of the girls who make some money and think they have the world at their feet. 

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     25 March 2012

Dear Pinky,

KUCH PANEKELEYE KUCH KHONA PADTHA HAI

We can't expect every thing to happen according to our wihms and fancies.After your replies to the experts suggestions,I am sorry to conclude that you are trying to drag the issue only on the pretext that he is too close to his family and hence you are not ready to join him.Luckily you have no children.If you had,what would have been their fate.Getting seperated is not as easy as getting married.We have some values the society has bestowed on us,we have to respect them.This would be my last reply to you.

May the almighty help you overcome your conjugal problems and lead a peaceful married life.

Nadeem Qureshi (Advocate/ nadeemqureshi1@gmail.com)     25 March 2012

Dear Pinky

I am very surprise to read your word that your husband is mom guy, you are a lady and you are against a lady who is your husband's mother, you never mentioned in your query that she is a cruel lady or no?

feel free to call

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     25 March 2012

Originally posted by :Pinky
"



1.  Can I contest the RCR from Europe?  If so, what should I do and my hubby is also in Europe

IT IS MANDATORY UNDER HINDU MARRIAGE ACT, THAT WHATEVER PETITION (RCR, DIVORCE ETC.) COMES BEFORE THE COURT, THE FIRST STEP IT HAS TO TAKE IS TO CONCILIATE/MEDIATE BETWEEN THE PARTIES SO THAT THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE CAN BE PROTECTED.  IN YOUR CASE, AFTER RECEIPT OF COURT NOTICE, YOU GIVE POWER OF ATTORNEY TO REPRESENT YOU BEFORE THE COURT TO ONE OF YOUR PARENTS, WHO IS LIVING IN INDIA AND ALSO APPOINT AN ADVOCATE.  THE COURT ON THE FIRST DATE OF HEARING ASK BOTH THE HUSBAND AND WIFE TO APPEAR BEFORE IT FOR THE PURPOSE OF CONCILIATION/MEDIATION.  IT IS ILLEGAL FOR THE COURTS TO AVOID THIS STAGE.  ONCE CONCILIATION FAILS, THE COURT DIRECTS YOU TO FILE THE REPLY TO THE PETITION.  IN YOUR PETITION,  YOU PUT THE FACTS LUCIDLY WITHOUT HURTING ANY ONE AND WITHOUT CONCEALING ANY FACT.  YOUR ADVOCATE WILL DO THIS JOB.  YOU HAVE TO CONTEST RCR BY SHOWING THE REASONABLE GROUND TO STAY AWAY FROM YOUR HUSBAND.  HARASSMENT FROM HUSBAND'S RELATIVES IS ONE OF THE GROUNDS, INDIAN COURTS ACCEPT TO ALLOW A WIFE TO STAY AWAY FROM HUSBAND AND IN SUCH CIRCUMSTANCES, THE COURT WILL NOT GRANT HIM RCR DECREE. 

2. If I put conditions like this, will court order him to fulfill the condition that I mentioned and ask him to accept me?  What if court denies it ?

THE COURT DOES NOT DENY YOUR CONTENTION FOR THE REASON THAT YOU HAVE BEEN HARASSED BY THE RELATIVES OF HUSBAND.  IF IN THE EVENT HE GETS RCR DECREE, THEN YOU HAVE THREE OPTIONS - (1) CONTEST IT IN HIGH COURT OR (2) IMPLEMENT THE ORDER, MEANING THERBY JOINING TO YOUR HUSBAND OR (3) REFUSE TO IMPLEMENT RCR ORDER. IF YOU TAKE UP THIRD OPTION, THEN ONE YEAR AFTER PASSING OF RCR ORDER, HE WILL BE ENTITLED TO FILE A CASE FOR DIVORCE ON THE GROUND THAT RCR ORDER HAS NOT BEEN COMPLIED.

3. Dont we need to appear in person for RCR?  Since both are in Europe currently

Reason behind the RCR is they are trying to threaten me so that I can go and fall on their feet.   pls advice

Yes.  At the time of mediation and at the time of evidence both parties have to personally appear.  In metropolitan cities, there is a facility for video conference and in some cases, this facility can be availed of to get expemption from personal appearance.

"

Sajag (.)     25 March 2012

 

I agree with Adv. Chandru. He has given the exact legal procedure. 

But, fight in court, then be sure of a divorce anyway. Yes, you may get some money/property etc. If you value that, go ahead. In fact, looking it differently it is also important, but is it valuable at the cost of marriage???

NOW....

Dear Pinkiji,

I am unable to understand how are harassed so much when you are staying on your own in Europe for a long time separately. 

Let us breakdown. 

1) 3 years of marriage 

2) 6/7 months you are staying separately. 

3) People do not go to Europe and immediately the quarrel starts. So, you have stayed with him for somtime in Europe and that time definitely neither his family or your family would be there. 

Let me take a conservation estimate of 1 year.

4) You did not say, when you were in India, was his family staying with you. I doubt so. Mostly you stayed with him for over 1 year in india, without his family. LIke most people in big cities do.

So 3 years of marriage = 1 year of staying in India wih him without his family + 1 year in Europe without his family + last close to 6/7 months year separately

Now, you decide. How can someone harass a person over a phone who is clever enough to stay separately in Europe on her own? You sound intelligent. How will you fool the judges even with correct legal way???

Discl: I am not related to anyway to Ms. Pinkiji. But, I am seeing thousands of cases like this in Bangalore where I stay (including mine), where girls get some money and start behaving exactly the way she is saying.they have no chance. A great eye opener. Interestly some file for DV and in this case, she has not. Either way, fight in court and 99.99% go for divorce.

V R SHROFF (Sr. ADVOCATE Bombay High Court Mob: 9892432152)     27 March 2012

Pinky, 

Your problem is a common one, faced by 80% of newly married couple residing in joint family. .


Many seperation takes place, even filing RCR & Divorce, and as time passes, after 2-4 years both realise, to improve upon relations, and rejoin. 

Same thing is going to happen in your case too. [I presumed as per my experience.] 

Do not panic. Reply RCR in low profile, without any harsh allegations, Wait and watch for right oppportunity.

As there is no benefit to you, (as working), better go to your job, reside separately with ur friendor hostel, for few months, 


 

RCR  can be contested from Europe, u may reply within 30 days.

The court may not pas order u expect or  allow ur condition.

Your lawyer can represent you, [ no need for your  personal appearance]


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