triambika 12 January 2018

I dont know how to get divorce in india in peculiar cases.

Hi, I want to share something personaly here and i need some clarifications how to resolve the problem. i got married and my husband he was not at all interested even to sit and talk to me. i was wondering what is his problem? i asked him several times but he gives thousands for reason like office work etc... and he often degrades me you are not mature enough. Basicaly i born and brought up in chennai and i completed BSC.Psychology and MBA.HR. My parents are very strict to me from childhood days and i'm a normal girl dont like to disturb anyone if they are not ok. I started feeling embarasing, irritated and emotionally very much depressed and anxiety. Due to my family culture i was kept quiet with my husband because when ever i rise question he fight with me. very often he scold me and my family members. he critize all my friends and family members to me but when he talk to my parents or my relatives he talks very well in a good manner but he complains about me to them always like not cooking, cleaning etc... But unfortunately i'm not a girl to eat in hotels frequently and i'm a pure vegetarian and i cook daily and serve him 3 times properly per day and snacks and cofee etc. I dont know what was the problem? i'm having a kid and myself, husband and my kid went to abroad and i thought ok atleast he will change but he never changed. in abroad he wont take us out and he wont sit and talk with us and i will keep on crying each and every day. I dont know what is the problem going on. He lies much and he keep on changing his words. I thought i could change him so i tried to the core. When i eat rice he tells me eat quietly and he wont give money to go out also. i returned from abroad and i stayed with my parents main reason i couldn't tolerate my tears and pain. it was like a jail i felt with him. But i didnt fight and come i stayed with my parents normally because if my parents come to know my pain they cant tolerate and after my brother marriage i cant stay in parents home according to our culture so i stayed alone with my daughter in a rented house with a deal of fixing camera inside hall and then later after all these hurdels in 4.5 years of my marriage i got chest pain and my hand got slight paralysis and i decided to quit from this marriage life and then i took him to psychiatrist for counseling and after counseling doctor asked me questioned what about your s*x life and i said he is not at all interested doctor and he told to doctor she is not keeping home clean and she is having some affair so only she is complaining on me. same thing he told to my parents. I was vexed and i came to know that he is have some s*xual problem like premature ejaculation. one more problem he has is he is black may be his complexion, etc.. i have sent notice but he is not ready to divorce me. Major problem he is trying to revenge on me. I dont know how to solve this issue in court. If anyone knows how to deal this situation please help me. I have not told entire issues i have faced with this psycho. Anyway Thanks for reading. Never marry without knowing about real faces of an individual. Marriage is a relationship between 2 characters so please take care of life. Thanks, Bye.

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12 Replies

(Guest)

I love your last two sentences. That is sooooo true!! As for your story, I'm sorry to hear. Sorry also about your paralysis. I'm afraid courts don't give you divorce for the reasons you mention, esp if he lies. Don't listen to people who might instigate you to file for divorce and false criminal cases. You'll ruin your life. Your only hope is if he agrees for mutual consent. Tell him yiu dont need maintenance. If he doesn't then simply lead your life away from him.

R.Ramachandran (Advocate) 12 January 2018

In this type of cases, if you want any legal help, you have to indicate the following important information,

1. In which year your marriage took place?

2. Your marriage took place in which city/town?

3. Presently you are living in which city/town?

N.K.Assumi (Advocate) 12 January 2018

In addition to experts, how long you have been living in rented house alone with your daughter,and who is supporting you and your daughter? Please explain, including your relationship with your husband.

Kumar Doab (FIN) 12 January 2018

PE, if IT exists, is curable.

The marriage is consummated and kid is born.

The spouse co-operated and agreed to visit Psychiatrist and you alone would know what diagnosis is!

Either qualified Psychiatrist might have written diagnosis, prescripttion (for PE) or might have referred to some urologist if problem demands some intervention.

Having black complexion is no reason at all.

Some adjustments can save the marriage.

Kumar Doab (FIN) 12 January 2018

You have not posted tangible grounds that you can establish for breakdown of marriage, contested divorce.

If you have NO such demands that are repelling for spouse e.g; alimony, maintenance, child custody etc etc then try if your spouse agrees for MCD.

IT can be quick, easy….

Sycorax Juris 13 January 2018

You are expecting too much from your husband. Marriage is based on the foundations of give and take, as a wife it is your bounden duty to know your husband;s likes and dislikes, tastes etc.Try to adjust yourself in the matrimonial home and everything will be good. I don't see any grounds for divorce.

Am married for the last 25 years, it took me nearly ten years to adjust with my husband.

Ignore Rajesh's post, he is honest and outspoken but always hit at the core.

N.K.Assumi (Advocate) 13 January 2018

You need sacrifices and understanding to keep the marriage going.

(Guest)

You do have parents. You have 2 degrees. Three of them, your parents.

your psychology degree, mba hr degree could not teach you meaning of marriage and life?

It appears you were taught that marriage is only spreading legs and making babies while others slog it out to keep you entertained by talking to you, taking you you out for joy rides, coffee shots restaurants etc.

What you have described above itself is life.

Life is like this only.

Few ppls lives are worse than yours.

You have child out of marriage means his dic is working fine.

It best appears that you are unable to arouse the best part of him (your man) which is an art. and entirely your fault.

If he wants money give him one time settlement, and take divorce.

Eitherways your story has many unconected dots. lose ends. which point mistake is yours only.

Life is adjustment. especailly married life. Marriage is not everybodys cup of tea. You simply should have avoided marrying. You could not adjust with this one, how would you have adjusted with anyone else?

(Guest)

You do have parents. You have 2 degrees. Three of them, your parents.

your psychology degree, mba hr degree could not teach you meaning of marriage and life?

What you have described above itself is life.

Life is like this only.

Few ppls lives are worse than yours.

You have child out of marriage means his dic is working fine.

It best appears that you are unable to arouse the best part of him (your man) which is an art. and entirely your fault.

If he wants money give him one time settlement, and take divorce.

Eitherways your story has many unconected dots. lose ends. which point mistake is yours only.

TGK REDDI 14 January 2018

It's difficult who to trust. Your husband? Or you?

In your case, chances are likely you'll benefit after divorce. Apply for divorce. Get judicial separation now.

triambika 16 January 2018

Hi friends,

i Have read all your replies. Thanks for giving me your suggestions and guiding me. I have to also tell one thing if i'm a girl who is expecting much for going out or expecting only s*x from my husband sure i couldnt be at a home by only seeing cooking, washing, cleaning and my husband he not even talk to me for 2 minutes and i was in this marriage life for 4.5 years with patient. please understand im not a machine or statute and I'm a human being with soul and i also felt many times to sucide because of the reason he avoided me and he disrescpected me. sometimes i felt like am i untouchable person like in olden days in India the high class people will degrade the low class people like untouchable. i cant explain my hurdles and pains. I know my case is rare case. I waited all these years that he will change atleast for our kid but he pinch and use bad words to my kid when she is 1 year itself and he never lift or carry my daughter but he acts like he is caring us verywell infront of friends and relatives and whenever i cry he sit and laugh. I still remember the words he tells me no one will believe you because i act differently before others and before you. My only mistake is i dont have awarenessand i have embrassed that like this also a man could be? and i itself googled and searched many ways how to handle the situation but finally after a stage my health did't suppor me and i can understand one thing my case is very very rare case. Because a good human being never be like this with worst selfish character. I have to face this alone. I believe God that God will save me. Because i'm not a girl to hurt people. If you all can please pray for me to save me and my daughter. Thanks friends. Tc. Bye.

Kumar Doab (FIN) 16 January 2018

Discuss in person with a very able senior LOCAL counsel of unshakable repute and integrity specializing in Family matters and having successful track record…………………