I got married in Nov 2012. Ours was a inter-cast marriage. My husband is very good in convincing people and gets aggressive during discussions. He uses any means to prove his point. Raising voice, deviate from the main topic, lying are very common and he thinks they are acceptable to make ones point. Over a period of time I realized that we have extreme characters and our attitudes differs a lot. As a result we found it hard to communicate and arrive at a solution.
My husband had health problems related to s*x and intimacy from day one of our marriage. he could not perform s*xually and I realized it much later. Initially when he couldn’t do anything when we were together, he was nervous and that impacts most of the guys. But then over a few week and months I got to know that he has major erection issues and lacks interest in s*x. He used to spend time with his mother, avoid being alone with me. I used to feel very embarrassed to talk about it.
my husband is very suspicious and has accused me of having an affair with a lot of guys in office. he used to check my phone and computer. he has even said that I have grown in my work and career only because I am a woman
I am an adopted child and was raised by my relatives becaused of which i didnt have my family support. After about 9 months or a year, during this time I found very helpless and lost all the motivation in life. I suggested we go for counseling for which he said it is not worth it they fool people to make money. So that effort also failed adding to my disappointments.
I found out about IVF and talked to my husband. he did not show any interest and kept of pushing it ahead. When I forced him to listen or to think about going to the fertility clinic, he used to divert the topic and raise a huge fight. His mother always supported him in this. sometimes in Jan 2015 I forcefully when his mother was not in town took him to a fertility clinic. He did everything possible not to get himself tested and he succeeded. I got my tests done and everything came up normal. He for some lame reason picked up a fight with the clinic staff and quarreled with the lady right there in the clinic. Later told me that the doc is not good. The whole clinic is bad and they were waiting to make money. After that he promised to find a good clinic and that never happened except numerous fights that happened as and when I reminded or asked about it.
I was getting constant headaches due to the issues and pressure. So much so that aches used to last for weeks and would go only when taken injections. I could feel that the lifelessness was pushing me towards depression. I decided that I want out from this. thought over this many times. I could not continue and one day in Sept during one of these torcher sessions I told I want to leave. In the mean while during Jul 2015, I met an old friend. We started chatting, got attracted to him and we started liking each other. On 14th Sep I left the house and am in my cousin’s place since then. I went out with my friend and we had a good time together. My husband somehow got the chat logs of mine and my friend’s conversation.
I wanted to get separated with mutual consent to which he had agreed to. But now he has sent a divorce notice basis adultery to me and my friend.
My questions:
What should my next action be?
I am asked to be present in the court now after a week. what will happen if am not present?
Will my relationship with someone else (even though it is less then 2 months) be still called as adultery if I have been with him after I have left the house?
How much of damage will the chat logs as a proof do to me?
How do I proceed with the primary problem of his impotency and hiding about it?
Will i get any alimony?
What case do i put on my husband now?
How long will it take for the divorce?
also, please suggest if anything i need to do.
Thank you.
