Is apology in marriage acceptance of guilt?

Good evening everyone. Thank you so much for the responses.

@Rishi kumar: Have you got the proof of her sharing naked photos ?

RS: Yes Sir. I don't have screeshots of her original messages in her cellphone to the third person but I had forwarded her WhatsApp messages to my cellphone and I have her messaged photographs.

@Rishi kumar: And being human you apologised. Nothing wrong.

RS: It's encouraging to see that a third person, an unrelated person can think that way for a husband.

@Rishi kumar:So be truthful. Tell the court that there was an arguement over this issue. You don't have to shield her. If you have saved the photos screenshot, produce it as evidence.

RS: Yes Sir. I intend to be truthful because (a) I have nothing to hide (b) I cannot cook up any story to explain what happned and in any case I don't need to cook up a story. Of course, if it comes to that I shall admit that I had been rude to her (very rude, perhaps even mean) but I hope the Court will consider the reason for my being rude in the context of her actions, which were on account of her 'adventures' and nothing to do with dowry.

@Rishi kumar:not make unnecessary false allegations.

RS: No Sir. I'm not making any false allegations. I'm not even making any allegations at all, as yet nor do I intend to, in respect of the ugly truth, unless my hand is forced and I have no other way out.

@Vijay Raj Mahajan: Best advice for you is to agree for divorce.

RS: Yes Sir. Perhaps that's the best advice. I'm still coming to terms with the shock factor. After reading all the reponses here, I called her today only to ask her what was the way forward? What does she thinks she needs now? And she told me she'd think about the way forward once I come to Court and apologize before Court and beg her for a consensual divorce! Now, I understand that this is a lawyers' Forum and not a psychologists forum but maybe lawyers also gauge actions and intentions using some amateur psychology? I don't know about that. But I do know that she's talking and behaving in a very sadistic manner.

@adv. rajeev ( rajoo ): If you are relation is strained and there is no chance of reunion

RS: After reading her case and especially after speaking to her, there doesn't seem to be any comeback.

@Ramesh Singh:Sec.58 of Indian Evidence Act, 1872; Under Art. 20(3) of The Constitution of India

RS: Yes Sir. I read your response and I read about Art. 20. But I'm more worried about the sympathy factor/victim card rather than hard and fast rules of law. I don't mean to sound a chauvinist male but everywhere I see (like office environment) a couple of tears and everything says a lady says is true, logic be damned. As you may see resepcted Mr.Adv Raj Malhotra's kind response.

@Ankaraj Marri

RS: Right Sir. Fate!

@Kumar Doab The obscene pictures as posted by you are after marriage?

RS: The messages were post marriage but the snaps were pre marriage (we were barely together for four months).

@Kumar Doab Is any court case filed.

RS: Yes Sir. Divorce by her on the ground of crutely and dowry demand by me.

@Kumar Doab: If despite obscene pictures are shared with some other person after marriage and still if you have shown big heart then why there is any charge on you!

RS: Why a charge on me? Well, Sir. I don't know. I thought that I could put all that behind me and start afresh. Be that as it may Sir, that feels like a moot point now; numbing.

@Sumit Kumar

RS: Ok Sir.

@Sumit Kumar: Alleged trading of nude pics online is nothing short of prostitution. so why waste your life .

RS :`(

@Adv Radhika Mehta: Use of the word sorry itself shows that you have done something wrong, something worth apologizing for.

RS: Yes Ma'am. It does and I admit that. The way I spoke to her is perhaps not the way one would talk to his newly wedded wife. That it was provoked by her conduct is perhaps some explanation, if not justification, for my behavior.

@Adv Radhika Mehta: The word sorry in such a context can be interpretated in a hundred ways.

RS: True. She's saying I was sorry for cruelty and I'm going to say I was sorry for the ill mannered language I used, prompted by her actions. It's how the Court reacts to this, is what bothers me.

@Kumar Doab: Your query is not clear if any case in court has been filed or complaint with police has been filed.

RS: Kumar Sir, she has filed divorce case in which she says my apologetic messages to her is a proof that I was cruel to her and now apologizing for the same. As @Rishi kumar ji said, "she has not filed a 498a against you, that is sure to come" ... but I'm not aware of any, till now.

@Kumar Doab: Mukar Sakte Hain.

RS: True Sir. The way my honest attempt to placate her by apologizing has been twisted into aplogies for cruelty, कुछ भी कह सकती हैं 

@Adv Raj Malhotra

RS: Sir, with all due respect, passive-agressive behavior is not frankness nor perhaps fearmongering. And while, I'm never afraid of the consequnces of what I had said or done I don't want to be saddled with consequences for something I never did. I appreciate your frankness and I hope that you are equally frank in real life too and tell your Clients to f**k off (incidentally, I wonder if such language is acceptable in Court or a law school).

A QUERY:

I found an article named "Legal Consequences of Apologizing" in Journal of University of Missouri and it relates purely to the United States. It says, "judges and juries understand that expression of sympathy, regret, remorse and apology are not necessarily admissions of responsibility or liability. This serves the public interest because such expressions have the potential to reduce the number of lawsuits". Will a Court in India give any weight to it?

Thank you all esteemed lawyers for your kind, valuable and frank response.

>>> Rajkumar Shastri

Advocate Raj Malhothra,

hope you will be able to throw some light on how the future of my case is going to be. You have stated here in your reply to me that men get divorce if 7 or one of the conditions are fulfilled. 

My case is , unconsummated marriage of 6 years. The relationship of my wife with me and family members was very cordial. Right from day one we could not get our marriage consummated. She had problems, pain, fear etc. after a few months I mademany visits to doctors with her. After about an year and a half , wife herself told my mother about her problem. So my mother started taking her to different hospitals. consulted the best hospitals of the metro we are staying in were consulted. All of the 8 or 9 reports say that patient is not co operating, because of fear, pain or some other psychological problems. Some of them suggest that she has vagainisms. We also did several rounds of counsellings as per doctors advice. All of them say that she has to cooperate in spite of all the medical assistance she can get. And in 2015 some procedure was done to remove some fibroids. Still the story was same. Finally in 2016 , requested her parents to do something about it . They took her once or twice for counselling and we also accompanied her. Then one day 15 of her relatives barged into my parents house and assaulted all of us for no reason.  Then I decided not to continue with this marriage any more and filed for divorce. Then followed all cases 498a, DV etc. we submitted objection and provided proof of our innocence in all of their allegations. A small amount of interim maintenance was also ordered in DV. Divorce case is on the petitioners cross examination stage on the next date. 

She asked for nearly a crore after filing all these very false cases on all members of my family which doted upon her and stood by her throughout. Not a single paise was taken or demanded. I have decided to fight it out rather than paying up and shutting up. I am even surprised that she is still coming to court with her lawyer after all her allegations have been refuted by us with full proof. She has even alleged that I have a problem and that the marriage remains unconsummated because of me. And now she has written that we have colluded with major hospitals to produce these reports!!!!!

Advocate Raj Malhotra, kindly can you post where exactly I stand as far as divorce case is concerned? Thanking you a lot. I need all the experts opintion to fight it out. Sorry for the long post. This was to say that  I have not lied anywhere.  Regards

i have applied for divorce under section 12 (1)(a) R/W 13(1)(ia) of HMA. I would once again like to add here that 90% of my motivation to fight this case has come from this forum.

Originally posted by : Rishi kumar
	Advocate Raj Malhothra, hope you will be able to throw some light on how the future of my case is going to be. You have stated here in your reply to me that men get divorce if 7 or one of the conditions are fulfilled.  My case is , unconsummated marriage of 6 years. The relationship of my wife with me and family members was very cordial. Right from day one we could not get our marriage consummated. She had problems, pain, fear etc. after a few months I mademany visits to doctors with her. After about an year and a half , wife herself told my mother about her problem. So my mother started taking her to different hospitals. consulted the best hospitals of the metro we are staying in were consulted. All of the 8 or 9 reports say that patient is not co operating, because of fear, pain or some other psychological problems. Some of them suggest that she has vagainisms. We also did several rounds of counsellings as per doctors advice. All of them say that she has to cooperate in spite of all the medical assistance she can get. And in 2015 some procedure was done to remove some fibroids. Still the story was same. Finally in 2016 , requested her parents to do something about it . They took her once or twice for counselling and we also accompanied her. Then one day 15 of her relatives barged into my parents house and assaulted all of us for no reason.  Then I decided not to continue with this marriage any more and filed for divorce. Then followed all cases 498a, DV etc. we submitted objection and provided proof of our innocence in all of their allegations. A small amount of interim maintenance was also ordered in DV. Divorce case is on the petitioners cross examination stage on the next date.  She asked for nearly a crore after filing all these very false cases on all members of my family which doted upon her and stood by her throughout. Not a single paise was taken or demanded. I have decided to fight it out rather than paying up and shutting up. I am even surprised that she is still coming to court with her lawyer after all her allegations have been refuted by us with full proof. She has even alleged that I have a problem and that the marriage remains unconsummated because of me. And now she has written that we have colluded with major hospitals to produce these reports!!!!! Advocate Raj Malhotra, kindly can you post where exactly I stand as far as divorce case is concerned? Thanking you a lot. I need all the experts opintion to fight it out. Sorry for the long post. This was to say that  I have not lied anywhere.  Regards i have applied for divorce under section 12 (1)(a) R/W 13(1)(ia) of HMA. I would once again like to add here that 90% of my motivation to fight this case has come from this forum.

OLD PATIENT 

Old patient better than new doctor?
Rishi kumar or sachin I feel both are same persons ID.

In divorce case only two thing happen.
1.  Divorce granted.
2.  Divorce case dismissed. 

If divorce case dismissed-----? Go next court.

No guarantee of court granting divorce?---- go mutual divorce - - pay hefty alimony and take divorce decree.

If divorce dismissed she again come do bawaal with 20 goons in name of relatives?  What to do? Either run away or fight with goons.

All options available before you already.  U should make use of them judiciously.

Life has no easy solutions.  Marriage seldom has easier solutions, but you can make things easy by adjusting.  Water finds its way, I read long long ago.  I still believe in it.

@Rajkumar Shashtri, i would advise you to stop focussing so much on the word sorry and concentrate more on building your case to such extent that the word sorry becomes inconsequential. 

@Rishi Kumar, as long as you have all of your wife's medical documents and records in your possession to enable you to prove your case, according to me, you stand a chance of getting your marriage declared as null and void. 

Radhikaji, thank you very much. I was really waiting for your reply. Keep it up. All your replies are worth reading and extremely practical. Let there be more lawyers like you. 

Dear Mr. Shastri,

First of all, I would like to tell you that I am not a lawyer. I am a harassed husband who is fighting a case of divorce. So, the advise or my reply may not be considered legal reply but it is based on my experience and on the research that I have done for my cases.

I regret to tell you, that your attitude is your worst enemy, even worst than your (?)wife.

First of all, you need to recognize that you are not fighting a case against your wife, but against a woman who has cheated you and who not only does not have guilt for her actions, but instead is trying to abuse your good actions to further trap you. Remember the adage of the police, "anything that you say can and will be used against you."

Secondly, I further regret to inform you that the messages that you forwarded from your wife's phone to your own will not be admissible as proof, since what is visible will be that she sent those messages to you. (from her number to yours). Actual screenshots as also the actual instrument are needed, which  I am sure won't be available with you because your opponent will have immediately deleted those messages and you won't be having access to her instrument too.

It's your word against her, and she has proof of all messages that you sent to her.

Thirdly, I hope you have not deleted the thread of messages that you sent to your wife, since that thread will enable you to prove the reference to context of your messages. Please save those messages, and guard your instrument at all times. It is your only real proof.

Lastly, forget about trying to save the marriage. She was never in this marriage in the first place and she does not care two hoots about you. Think and act smart and focus on protecting your own skin as also the skin and lives of your family members.

The sooner you accept the truth of that woman and of your position and the sooner you adopt the right attitude, the lesser damage you shall inflict on yourself and shall enable you to win the case.

Attitude is everything.

I wish you luck.

Regards...