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kumar (doctor )     13 December 2013

Kindly help me

Sir/Mam

I got married on june 2011. we both are professionals(doctors). It was an arranged marriage. She knew about my family & financial status before marriage itself. Since iam only son to my parents i requested her to stay in joint family which she accepted before marriage. After getting married within 1 week she started behaving odd. she started avoiding my parents totally without any reason. she would cook separately in the same house.when I asked about that she shouted at me and said that i have to bear all these things if want joint family system. She also added that "I accepted joint family system before marriage .But now im saying I wont accept- what u can do ?"I never took these issues to Inlaws thinking that it would be alright soon.  she repeatedly mentioning to me that my parents are third persons and i should not give importance to them. Even when my mother prepares food for her she wont accept. Over trivial issues she would become more irritable and started throwing her mobile over me. I tried to make her calm. I tried to maintain good rapport with my inlaws , took her to cinema , took her to dinner  & spend more time with her. But inspite of all these she once reported to her father that she was not happy. Once her father came to our home and after enquiring all problems he asked sorry for her behaviour & said that he will advice her. Meanwhile she got concieved and her mother after coming to know all her behaviours through my wife she called me and cried and requested to bear her till Valakaapu function. After she has gone to her parent house for delivery, i have been to my inlaw house almost every week till delivery. she gave birth to a male child by april 2012. After birth every week along with my mother i used to go inlaw house to see my child. Around 20th day of my son birth when i along with my mother went to see my child...My mother in law behave so badly with me over a trivial issue on discussion of  baby name function. my motherin law become more irritable and ordered me to go way from the home. My wife was seeing all these things and was keeping calm. Since the situation was very bad I asked my wife to come along with me . But my wife refuse and added that she will come after few months only when i provide her separate home . I came back and never returned to that home till now. Meanwhile she started blackmailing that I should leave my parents and come with her otherwise she wont come . With lot of pains i waited for few months. by around 9 months of my son's birth she came to my home along with few of relatives and demanded separate home . when i refused she shouted at me so badly standing out of the streets and went back . Her parents again convinced me that they will talk to her and bring her again. but only after 1 month she came back with the same demand . when i refused she again went back this time her parents started hiding all the happenings & started scolding me . after that at 3-4 different times through phone along with relatives they tried reunioun but nothing worked well. she expressed she will commit suicide if continue to be in joint family. she also expressed sucidal ideas through phone to me. when i informed to her father , he said she will tell like that only & took it very light. but she expressed the same in my house he created a reason for taking her back.  I never expected any money or material from her at any time which she also accepts before others. i never take her salary with me. i never restricted her to go to her home. All i wanted was to live together happily .even i dont mind if thier parents come & stay with us.

Over this issue she targeted my mother and claim false allegations over minor issues. Also she accept that my mother never scolded her & no one beat her. But she constantly demand separate home.My wife hide things which happen in front of me to make false allegations over my mother. I cannot tolerate this .

For these issues

She didnt come back to my home for past 21/2 years

she refused to take my son to home

She is emotionally black mailing me keeping son with her..........

when i talk for divorce , she said " I wont come to your home,

                                                             I wont give divorce to you

                                                            i wont allow you to marry others"

From myside

                         I informed her i will become finacially stable & may able to build a own house for us keeping separate kithen in different floors in three years. But she refused & not ready to wait for three years .All of sudden she demand immediately everything should occur..... 

                        " I was ready to live with her but as a joint family only , even she can bring her parents with me"

But she didnt accept for that................. How to proceed? kindly help me

Over the days I started hating her & helpless now......

                   

  



Learning

 1 Replies

Laxmi Kant Joshi (Advocate )     13 December 2013

Kumar i suggest you not to leave alone your parents you do 1. make a conversation with her in which she accept that you and your parents had never done any domestic violence upon her , nor you and your parents had take any dowry and never you and yours parents had asked so and record it in your mobile phone in its original form , same conversation do with her father and record it , let them speak that she will come only when you leave your parents and live seperately with her . after this 2. be firm what you want , to cohabitat with her or not if you want to get her back then file a petition u/s 9 of hindu marriage act for restitution of conjugal rights in the family court of your district , let's she what she responds. 3. if you want to divorce her file petition u/s 13, 13(i-a), 13(i-b) hindu marriage act on the ground of mental cruelty and desertion .

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