Man should apply for bail and then go for marraige

1 Would ur mother , sister, bhua will misuse the law because as per u same is lop sided?

2. Can u give incidence of misuse ?

3. To my mind relations deteriorates as steps for improvement are not taken at the begining stage and then it comes in third stage.

4. Why people are taking dowery when it is already made illegal. If u dont take dowery then in future no one can allege that u have demaded dowery. 

@ Alok Tholiya

You tell me men marry for dowry?

whether dowry can make him rich?

Men demand dowry or the parents of the women gives articles in the name of dowry so that she can rule over the in laws just because she has brough her articles

Prior to marriage whether man had never seen those articles?? Whether he was living in caves??

It just a ridiculous statement as this just a tool for investment . For example if some one gave article say of Rs 1 lakh which faciliatae them to fetch from in laws 10 times say 10 laks

If women say the articles are dowry and the men own amenities won't come under dowry.

Significant number of parents used to give dowry to show their reputation in the socitety and men under compulsion force to accept it for the sake of  its dignity

Do you think if some says that its was her right on that particular artilce whether any respected person tussle over this by saying it that it was article

If you are going to married and at last stage if reused to artilce by saying that it is dowry I am 100 sure that they implicate you that you have been demanding dowry and you want more

You also better ask from the brides parents why they give dowry ? You will find your answer..

Hubby should apply for anticipatory bail (against the fake FIR) in the future and then go for marraige

Technically AB is not a blanket order to safeguard you from all your future misconducts. This is an order of the higher courts to prevent abuse of misuse of law. The order is only given in case you have a reason to believe that due to an act already performed you could be arrested.

Better and practical approach for a prospecting groom is to make all efforts to get all possible data about the bride who might turn out to be a 498a wife.

For Govt.:: It should make this section bailable & non-cognizable. Petty matters which could be resolved inside the house or via. mediation should not be allowed to enter police stations.

//peace

/Saurabh..V

Dear Saurabh, Except for insane (which may be less then .1% ) no one will rush to use 498A. 80% of marriages are with in community, circle of friends and relatives.

How I am being forced to take recourse of 498A can be understoodby u when I narrate my story. You can came and see me if u r in Mumbai. Call me on 9324225699. 

Like when no. of crimes happen only few r reported and same is story of atrocities against women.

Most people committing crime never realise they r doing so. Most justify the crime and own mistakes are never accpted. Kasab to all criminals we see on TV do not agree to the sins they have committed. 

Volcano does not blow in a day. Steamimg is on.And most keep ignoring, delaying, the stitch in time and when whole life crumbles and suffering lady finds no other solution then she has to appraoch law. Approaching law is never a crime but taking law in hand is . Dont u find misrepresentation before marriage and at the time of marriage, bullying by baraties / boy side of girl side? cant they avoid indecency, insults, and then comes demand how the marraige should be, food should be, gift should be, car wanted, gold wanted, and then for every purpose tere baap ne kya sikhaya ( what did ur pop teach u ) etc etc..

Go to pihar ( parents ) if u have so much of nakhara ( tantrums) this is our house and indirectly they tell her u r a slave in the house and live like a slave without uttering a word.

And it is mostly the male who drink , take drugs,go to prostitute,and yet treat wife like subordinate. In drunken state they do what they like or in fit io anger/ rage  they beat her to no less brutally then a Kasab who did so heartlessly and yet they justify their actions.

I am surprised your eyes are closed/ shut/ jaundiced. And I am not saying that all women are devi but there is limit . How??Here is how:

1. She is not easily accpted by brother/ wife of brother if leaves her married home.
2. She may not be self dependant.
3. She will not be able to easily find good match after a divorce.
4. She is alone in a married home where as in married home from family members, neighbours, staff, maid,friends, watchman all are on the side of husband then how can she commit atrocities???
     In my house there r my parents, my neighbours, my staff ( my office  is in same building) , and I have socially active so carry some weith in Police, social circle etc.. Can u imagine my wife being able to take on me??  I dont know how much lies one can say to carry own atrocities on women and yet call themselves clean.
5. Normally men are well built, well equieped, heavy in weight, greater physical tolerance etc.. How can a wife beat?? Atleast can she beat brutally? Read papers who die more everyday??
6. Even if wife has an error / mental disorder then instead of beating her, taunting her one can take help of mental health proffessionls, good honest spiritual leaders , join some good course togather, etc etc.. But they go for easy solution ofbeating, demanding, enslaving, etc..
7. If all peaceful efforts fail then collect evidence , call panchayat , call samaj leaders explain facts and seek divorce but why beat her to deat and then go to jail ??? Why demand thigs and face 498A?? Why for every irritation curse her family?? Who willbear?? Then shall  I  start by cursing your parents??

Real reason of marital disharmony turning in to world war:

1. Patrents forcing marriage with a person not liked
2. illcit relations
3. false show off before mariage and finally comes to light that girl side was given wrong picture
4. dowery demand
5. If a family has given too much to their daughter/s then they expect same from daughter in laws side
6. False pride that we are boy side and girl side should be dictated . This is a deep rooted eroor in Indinas specilly north indians.
7. Boy is impotent, infertile , addicted, etc etc. Such issues are not brought up by any side as there is a stigma in our society about issues of s*x which is a most important part of any marital cordiality. Worst is there are solutions available but the ego and stigma does not allow to go for an mental or s*xual treatment. And fight occures where as underlying reasonsare some thing else. Pre marital health check up should be made compulsory.

can go on but some visitors have come in my office.. Alok Tholiya 9324225699

atholiya@gamil.com

@Alok,

The cries in the country are not because those innocent and genuine females. May be you failed to understand that crooks in this country have started to live amongst us within the civilized society. This improper urbanization has lead to such embroilment in the country.

Your comments are very general and trying to portray that ALL girls are so innocent that they keep on taking the beatings etc., but keep quiet! But if that was so, you wouldn't see that the highest court of the country would call the provisions as terrorists. The truth is very different than what your presumed and imaginary thoughts tell you.

A bad person is bad not because of gender but because of mind. A person who allows atrocities, does so because he/she cannot stop it due to physical inferiority. But irnoy is that when laws were made to stop these atrocities, they started to misuse it.

You have made few remarks which need to be answered specifically. See below:

Normally men are well built, well equieped, heavy in weight, greater physical tolerance etc.. How can a wife beat?? Atleast can she beat brutally? Read papers who die more everyday??

When a girl is verbally assualted at home, the news appears on front page, but when a man commites suicide, either news does not appear at all or at max. would be printed on 5th - 6th page in a corner. Does that mean men are not harrassed by women? Turn to some reporting company to ask about the suicide rate of married men v/s married women and you would be shocked to see that ratio is almost equal.

Even if wife has an error / mental disorder then instead of beating her, taunting her one can take help of mental health proffessionls, good honest spiritual leaders , join some good course togather, etc etc.. But they go for easy solution ofbeating, demanding, enslaving, etc..

How many instances you can show of beating in educated family? Such instances are very unfortunate that when the same girl was beaten by her own drunken dad or wicked mother, never complained and it was never cruelity, but as soon as she gets married, the same girl for the same acts cries foul? If your words are true, then mind are also parallelly true my dear friend!!

Go to pihar ( parents ) if u have so much of nakhara ( tantrums) this is our house and indirectly they tell her u r a slave in the house and live like a slave without uttering a word.

When the girl was unmarried in pihar and she had no option but to live at her pihar  was happily allowing her own parents to treat her like that but as soon as she gets married and the same taunts comes from her mother-in-law she becomes slave?

I am surprised your eyes are closed/ shut/ jaundiced.

Now I'm not surprised that how self-consumed you are that with a man's ID (Alok is a man's name) you are beating your drums of feminism. I would not be surprised if this Id is also a trick ID made by a female.

Anyways, how open are your eyes? When a girl's parents spends money for marriage, gifts etc., then it becomes punishable for the groom and his family but what about the expenditure of a groom's family? I've seen plenty of marriages in my vicinity and relatives, and the expenditure is almost same as that of a girl's family. Whose eyes are closed is pertinent!!

She is not easily accpted by brother/ wife of brother if leaves her married home.

Where does her own parents dissappear? They are only here to maintain her till marriage and after that she becomes scrap for them? How shameful for the family of the girl herself.!!

She may not be self dependant.

Even many married guyz are not working. Yet they have teh responsibility of maintaining his wife. What kind of burdon does an unemployed girl takes up?

She will not be able to easily find good match after a divorce.

How will a divorced man get a match easily? Try being stepping into the shoes of a divorced male and then answer this question to yourself.

  If a family has given too much to their daughter/s then they expect same from daughter in laws side

Why take when cant give? I've seen greedy families who turn saints who don't believe in dowry while marrying their daughter but when they are marrying their son, they suddenly turn into blind wells of gold.

She is alone in a married home where as in married home from family members, neighbours, staff, maid,friends, watchman all are on the side of husband then how can she commit atrocities???

Is the man running a racket to hurt the wife? If we leave aside few instances, your comment gets defeated in majority of cases where a man is always told to be on fault cause other side is a woman.

Grow up buddy! Think rationally! Never generalize ALL amongst crooks!

Not all girls are angels and Not all men a devils!!

//peace

/Saurabh..V
 

We cant go on but when I gave u my no. then why did not u chk abt my gender. I dont use disguise . I am Alok Tholiya , Male 57 yrs, living in santacruz east, U are welcome to come and discuss. U r welcome to discuss ur problem and I will discuss my case. If u want we can we public debate on this topic with concerned parties.

@ Shri Alok Ji Sir,

You are right because you see the daughter in the eyes of any marraiagable girl But if you go through the stigma of any boy who supposed to be your son age Ypou won't say like this

I extremely sorry for writing this But I have no way to express m y feelings

Dipankar this is not FAIRY TALE, this should be CASE DIARY tale!