Marriage better understood !

Arvind Singh Chauhan (advocate) 14 December 2009

Soory to all women ! Parden me It is joke.

WIFE-

W- WORRIES

I- INVITED

I- FOR

E- EVER

Rajan Salvi (Lawyer) 14 December 2009

Marriage is a sacred institution............My friends say so.

Daksh (Student) 14 December 2009

Hi Arvind,

There is another version to this

W - With

I - Idiot

F - For

E - Ever

Best Regards

Daksh

Daksh (Student) 14 December 2009

Hi Rajan, Venkat & Arvind,

This one is specially for all of you - hope you are going to like it.Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, If after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, And to

young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, He accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: The princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester.. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, For only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot , The most noble of the Knights of the Round Table , And Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, Smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.

He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden, But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered. Arthur's question thus: 'What a woman really wants?'

She said, 'Is to be in charge of her own life.'

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth. And that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, She would henceforth be her horrible and deformed self only half the time. And the beautiful maiden the other half.

'Which would you prefer? She asked him. 'Beautiful during the day .... or at night?'

Lancelot pondered the predicament.
During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends,

But at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!

Or,

Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day?
But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments with?

(If you are a man reading this...) What would YOUR choice be?

(If you are a woman reading this) What should YOUR MAN'S choice be?

What Lancelot chose, is given below:

BUT... make YOUR choice before you scroll down below... OKAY?

x
x
x
x
x
x
x
Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question, He said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time. Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now... what is the moral to this story?

The moral is....

1) There is a witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is!

2) If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.

So, always remember:

IT'S EITHER 'HER WAY' OR IT'S 'NO WAY'.

Best regards

Daksh

Gundlapallis (Advocate) 14 December 2009

Nice one Mr. Daksh.

prakash vathore ( lawyer) 15 December 2009

true.

sgadhan gupta (job) 15 December 2009

I really don’t have anything against my wife, still have respect for her. In the beginning (1994) – I was much immature (perhaps in emotion and man woman relation till date) and due to some ego from my side, the distance made between us. And it was keep on increasing in several way in many forms. I tried many times to compromise and adjust, but I couldn’t. Several women came in my life (no one through professional life). Now I am realizing, before it’s further late for both of us, it has to be done. We are sleeping in different rooms last 13 months, didn’t intercourse last 18 months (not more than 6 in last 3 years). But I cant live in this manner anymore. I am regularly taking drugs for sleeping, pressure and cholesterol and depression as prescribed by physician. Before it affects my job performance, I want to end it. I can take everything else, but not a bad performance of myself at workplace.

1st I want to change my marital status. I can’t act anymore everyday in home, and want to be fair at least this time to my wife. I know lots of odds will come from my mother and relatives, as everyone dislikes divorce socially. I have to shift for a separate residence (like I did in July 2008), might face financial crunch also. But still I have to do this, my mother is also suffering last few months, guessing my mental condition, and unfortunately in spite of my continuous, trying - relation between wife and mother isn’t healthy yet. My wife stopped using Sindoor, as she also feels marriage is over. I am 40 now, so still have some courage left. But after this it wont be possible. Even in my professional life, people wont take it easily. Still I want to take my own black spots, my failure- to the public, at least to the people who matters; cant play hide and seek game anymore. I stopped myself several times; thinking about my son, but truly speaking he almost doesn’t have any emotional relation with me. It’s perhaps my entire perhaps fault, as he saw, his mother is away from me, he also started maintaining a distance. So, please don’t say me to rethink this time. The issue was already pushed for 10years- but nothing changed. I shall fulfill all their (wife and son) other need like now, but not by staying together anymore. I know healthy parent relationship is essential for kids to grow. But the way I am living is not a healthy way, staying apart is a far better option surely.

Feelings of two human beings are involved in a couple’s married life. This could not be patched up by enforcement of law by courts. It is up to the individuals to mend themselves. A horse can be taken to water but it is the horse that should drink it. However, the law should not deny divorce if the marriage has really broken down. By forcing unity with a hammer in the hand, the law does not serve the sanctity attached to the institution of marriage by religions.

If the relationship of husband and wife wrecks beyond repair, what is wrong in recognizing that fact and allow them to live separately. How can one compel a wife or a husband to continue to live with spouse if they have fallen apart? If so compelled they would have to lead miserable life.

My wife knows all of these but still not ready to divorce me- "just for my son” and her status to society! How to tackle her and HONURABLE INDIAN COURT?

THE LAWS- INDIAN LAWS!!!

ARE WE REALLY MOVING FORWARD???

I filed my divorce petition on September 2009. The first date was 16^th Dec 2009. On that day I just got another date.

When we talk about “India’s globalization”, it’s just a MOCKERY of its height. Just think about states (more than 50), where No- Fault divorce exists. But we Indians are different. We are really different! We had a custom of “SATI DAHO PROTHA”, “BOHUBIBHAOO of Brahmins”, “dowry” and so on, which no longer exists (at least in the so called Indian social society). All those practices are no longer permissible by Indian Law. Other states also had some old beliefs like “burning a witch”. The basic difference was, they at least used to admit their belief about the victim as “witch”, but we named her “SOTI” tagging with a very “noble” cause. Whenever we (or someone) stick to something old, we always tag that as “custom” , “tradition” etc. This is human nature. Man always wants to be in his stability and status co. But sometime a surgery is needed to avoid the gangrene- it’s done only when it’s necessary. Is not this the right (if not delayed already) time to address the problem associated with Indian Divorce Act. Please note, I am not the 1^st to say this, the law commissions already felt this in 2008 and 2009 (reports enclosed). First one clearly recommended for UNIFORM MARRIAGE LAW (only for registered marriages) and the later one recommended introducing THE IRRETIVABLE BREAK DOWN OF MARRIAGE as a ground for divorce.

That means if my partner cant and me agree on a less affecting thing like divorce (which means to break the tie of marriage), how can we STAY TOGETHER in marriage thereafter. All of us know that, staying together (in any form) requires much more agreement than to stay apart from each other. That means I have to request (or beg) my wife to be free from marriage, just like a captive in a jail. Is not this obstructing my basic fundamental right as a citizen? When there is no such law for a father & son or mother & son relation (although maintenance clause is there), why would be such gross disparity in case of marriage? Is later the more “NOBLE” or “MUST ON” relations than the earlier?

But unfortunately our “ Honourable Judiciary” and “Honourable Ministry” are yet to to make the amendment in the divorce law. Whenever we delay something, it affects. In this scenario its affecting unfortunate people like me. Forget everything, just imagine a scenario in a bedroom of a couple where a Judge is sitting and deciding about the “cruelty” performed or not among the couple!

Now as an effect I have two options –

EITHER to stay in my marriage forgetting about my all own negative feelings,

OR to badmouth my son’s mother in the court to get rid of her. In both cases either my wife or I would be sufferer, not the Honurable Judiciary! Won’t the chances of reconciliation would decrease or diminish just because of amount of tension created between the two during the process, as more dates means more blames or more defense (which is also a part of attack mechanism)? Even the child would be indirectly sufferer for the bitterness between the parents as helpless witness of the whole event.

Breaking up was a hard decision for anyone. I thought over years. But while doing, why we (the process itself) need to be nasty instead of peaceful? If a marriage can be done in a one-month notice period, why the divorce would be delayed for YEARS?

I like to highlight some facts in countries, where there is NO- FAULT divorce: -

· A decline in the rates of domestic violence (which is obviously concern in India)

· These laws empower a man or woman in an abusive marriage and make it easier to leave and live separate

· Means less conflict during divorce, which means less emotional harm to children whose parents, are divorcing

· Shortens the length of time it takes to obtain a divorce, which, in turn, shortens the amount of time spent in a stressful situation causing physical and mental damage to involved party (as in my case, I am having anti depression drugs as prescribed)

· Financial settlements are based on need, ability to pay and contribution to the family finances, rather than on fault

· Helps reduce the heavy caseloads of family courts

At the end we all must remember-

LAW IS MADE BY THE PEOPLE

LAW IS MADE FOR THE PEOPLE.

So I humbly pray to consider my case as an Individual, not as an “Ideal Husband”, and grant the divorce without further delay. I am responsible for my job (doing it last 13 years) as well as my family, and will give reasonable maintenance (the only sub clause was recommended as check measure for divorce for Irretrievable Break Down) as decided by the Honourable Court.

Thank you,

Note- I agree, Indian Family Laws are for Woman