Mediation in divorce

Marriage or Divorce or settlement.  It takes two to tango:-

One cannot force ones decision on each other, thats where the court will intervene.  So, if you say NO to divorce, divorce case will run endlessly like DDLJ  in maratha mandir.  If you say YES to divorce, in 6 months time divorce granted and your are back in matrimonial market.  If you say YES for settlement you get money from boys side.

What I advice is, talk to husband one on one and ask him to give it second thought, as once divorced, you both will be like used cars.

Never rely on relatives or parents in this case for patch up, dont call, just go meet and talk with  husband, nothing wrong in  saying SORRY.   All the best.

Counselling is also a form of mediation and you can insist on court monitored counselling as an alternative to mediation. However, the above suggestion of talking directly to the husband without any intermediaries is the best solution if you want to save you marriage.

Agree with Helping Hand!!!

 

Hope the Sacred Institution of Marriage is saved…Wish you Good Luck.

What sort of misunderstanding?

none can force any decision. mediator too cannot force if done mediation fails.sec 89 of cpc terms apply, the lis continues.

 

fact is as u want to save marriage you can approach the women forum for reconciliation.

 

today problem is a lot of marriages break as a lot of men take affronts in the casual talk as like women too. fact is one needs to understand psyche of the other for happy married life.

 

married life does not mean every thing is not hunky and dory, that one has to understand.

 

when any gets used to dates or such would always need some new tastes that is the problem of modern world, that leads even small difference might get magnified to giant proportions that is called the great demon called divorce!

I fully agree with experts advise. Mediation and counselling is a process where both the parties are given the opportunity through some 'trained" mediator/ counselor to patch up and arrive at an amicably accepted decision suiting to both  the parties with their consent without any threat, force or compulsion. Even the decision so arrived can be backed out, it is not a Court order.

Dr. (Maj) J C Vashista, Advocate, Consultancy Room, Lawyer's Chamber Block, Delhi High Court, New Delhi- 110003 Cell # 9891152939 email: majjagdish@yahoo.com

Your apprehensions are quite understandable.  The wife wants the continuance of marriage at any cost.  The husband wants divorce at any cost.  The mediation/counselling is compulsory in matrimonial disutes.  In the mediation, both take their respective stands stubbornly.  Then, husband flasshes his trumph card that once he decided not to live with the wife any more, the matter ends there. Divorce or no divorce, no power on the earth can force me to live with wife.    The mediator, if genuine, fumbles and attempts to teach the husband about sanctity of Hindu Marriage.  Husband stonewalls and turns deaf ear.  Then, the mediator takes the side of husband and asks the wife to name the amount which takes for mutual consent divorce. Wife sinks in the quagmire wondering where all the "women favouring laws" had vanished?  The amount that offers from husband side is chicken feed.  Any demand from wife for her anquish, turmoil she met in matrimonial home, compensation for carrying the title of "divorcee" will never be considered in male dominated society.  That is why, there should be a law that "wife should get half of the immovable and movable property inherited or to be inherited by the husband" to snap the relation.  Now, coming to your question, in the mediation insist that you do not want to break away from the matrimonial relationship.  If husband does not agree, then ask the mediator to refer the matter to the court to decide the issue on merits.  

@ Adv. Chandrasekhar::
like ur practical advice. hwevr with due respect to ur advice, fail to understand some points.

a] Divorce or no divorce, no power on the earth can force any to live with spouse.
     completely agreed.

b] That is why, there should be a law that "wife should get half of the immovable and movable property inherited or to be inherited by the husband" to snap the relation.
     completely agreed bt one can not take away the birth right of one whom to give during life time and after death. so if one does not like to give own property to own child thn where is the question of to b inherited.

c]  If husband does not agree, then ask the mediator to refer the matter to the court to decide the issue on merits.
fail to understand.
earlier u say " no power on the earth can force any to live with spouse " is contradicted to " c"

queriest clearly say tht   
I do not want any money or anything from my Husband, just want to save my Marriage.

@ queriest ::
court is not right place for patch up.
u & ur elders knw better. whm to involve.

b) In Hindu Mitakshari law, the property devolves within three generations be deemed to be self acquired property.  If the father of husband connniving with the husband  to deprive the daughter-in-law, can play fraud on her, by not directly giving the property to the husband, but by gifting someone else, with clandestine agreement with him, that after due divorce will be granted to the son, the gifted property will be regifted to his son by that someone.  A divorced wife cannot stake her claim in such property, eventhough it is inheritable property.  It is just an illustration.  There are several methods to deprive the women from getting the share in the property.  The studies in Haryana shows that even after amendment in Hindu Succession Law in 2007, the women are deprived of their legal right in the property by the fathers, brothers and husbands by clandestine arrangements among them. 

c)  What I mean is that "if husband does not agree" means if he does not agree to cohabit, then the wife can insist that the matter has to go to the court to decide the issue on merits instead of accepting mutual consent divorce after taking some amount.

@ adv. chandrasekhar,
appreciate ur answers.
this loophole of law like misuse of draconian law.
u must aware of the uproar and its side effects frm the news if not experienced.
wht i hear frm news, i pray to God this shld not b happened evn in family of my enemy.
besides, again it is also birthright whom to gift or will own property to whom favour.
here related and affected party  herself say she does not want a penny thn fail to understand the reason behind overlook the heart of question and gv other advice which she does not ask,

When U have already stated before the Judge that U do not want Divorce and lead life with him,there is no point of going for counselling at this stage. What kind of a mediation that they are upto? Mediation or counselling is done for saving the marriage and  not for breaking it..I am not going into the sections or other legal aspects, my request is try to save the marriage when U are not at fault.

You should attend the mediation session and explain your stand very clearly that you do not want to divorce him at any cost.  The mediator cannot thrust his decision on you, he may revert the case to court and the court upon hearing both sides will pass the judgement on merits of the case.

If you will be agree with your husband in mediation. if you won't, the case will be stretched without divorce decree. So it doesn't mateer how many mediation session you attain. You just need to think about your future and how to live happyly. Life is very small and priceless.

It's up to you to be agree or not in mediation session, attain it without any fear