Hello,
I am 27 years old. I got married 2 years back. It was an arranged marriage. Everything was going fine in the begining except for the fact that the marriage was not consummated. ALthough he tried a few times, he was not successful. Since it was the first time for both of us, i was patient and attributed the unsuccessful attempts to nervousness or anxiety.
However after sometime he started to come up with excuses to sleep in different rooms and avoid any kind of physical contact. Inspite of various attempts at intiating physical contact by me and various attempts at trying to discuss the matter.. he kept avoiding me and any discussion regarding the topic. i stopped pushing him and decided to give him time. he started to spend more and more time at work. he used to even work at home late at night and on weekends. He used to give me long silent treatments and refuse to talk to me for days and weeks together.. Within a few months the marriage had deteriorated to a point where we were like two strangers living under the same roof with hardly any conversations. We continued to put up false pretence in front of others as a result none of our families or friends doubted that there were problems between us.
Eventually after around 5 months of marriage, i confronted him and insisted that i need an explanation for lack of intimate relationship between us. at this time he admitted that he had a minor problem and needed to go to a doctor for minor surgery. Even after this i was patient with him as i really liked him and i never told anyone about this as i thought that protecting my husbands dignity is my duty. however he continued to avoid going to the doctor and always gave me reason that he is too busy and has too much work and he cant take leave for this surgey. So it continued in this manner for a year.. where we continued to have a broken down marriage with nothing much between us. we had a very unhealthy relationship. we rarely had big fights or confrontations. But there was long periods of silence between us. He used to travel a lot. and when he was at home, he was either busy at work or working from home all the time.
Finally, before i first anniversary, i gave him an ultimatum. even then he did not go for a surgery and instead wanted to start family planning. I told him that there is no question of family planning since we dont have any intimate relationship between us and the marriage has not even been consumated yet. after this he stubornly refused to go for the operation and finally i had to involve both set of parents. everyone tried to talk to him but he continued to postpone the date of operation. Finally 3 months after our 1st anniversary i moved out and have been staying alone ever since. Now it is one year since i moved out.
He did finally go for the operation however it was too late and issues between us had reached a level that could not be solved as he refused to change or acknowledge that he was wrong. We decided to go for mutual divorce. Past one year we have been negotiating over the mutual divorce. Now he is refusing to give me back all the money that my parents spent on the wedding. He says he will give only half of it back. However i dont want to give in or settle for it.
What can i do this matter? What is the best way to negotiate and get back my money? If i file a case, what are the chances that it would be in my favour and on what grounds can i file a case? PLEASE HELP
