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Lali (--)     17 February 2010

Need Advice...Please help

I and Mr.X ( I don't want to publish his name here as he is holding a respectable rank in Indian Armed Forces) have been in love for about two years. He promised me that he will certainly marry me. But his parents were totally against our relationship. He said even if his parents force him to marry some other girl, he will marry me also and take me as his second wife. I believed him because at that time I did not know that second marriage is legally void in India.

His parents found another girl for him and he got married to that girl in November 2009. Since his engagement to that girl, I never tried to contact him although he kept calling me at times. I tried to keep distance from him as far as possible because I love him sincerely and didn't want his life to be spoiled even though he had promised me that he will certainly marry me. I was always happy for him.

We were totally not in contact for about past four months. But last week, he unexpectedly called me and talked to me for some time. He said he just want to know about my whereabouts and asked me to keep in touch. I could hear noises of vehicles in the background and thought he might be driving. So I said I'll call him back after some time and disconnected the call. Somehow, I was not able to call him back on that day and called him after two days or so. This time his wife picked up and said he was not there at that time. I asked her when he will be back but she refused to tell and spoke unpolitely as if I was trying to stay in touch with a married man. I told her he only wants me to talk to him but she did not accept.

At this, even I got provoked as she was blaming me without any reason. I asked her to convey him my message that I still love him and want to be his second wife as he promised. But immediately after that, I told her I didn't mean to hurt her and apologised her for whatever i said. I tried to make her understand that I just wanted to talk to him and nothing more than that. But she was in no mood to hear me. After that she started messaging me using all sorts of abusive words (b*tch, prostitute etc.) . She is claiming that he never loved me and only I was trying to force myself on him. She is still continuing those messages.

Now I have the following doubts:

1. Is there any possibility to take any legal action against her who is using such abusive language?

2. If we take her word as true(ie he never loved me), is there any possibilty to proceed legally against him who played with my feelings and emotions and cheated me by saying that he will certainly marry me?

3. If the above are possible what are the steps I have to take to go ahead with a legal proceeding?
 



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 7 Replies

A V Vishal (Advocate)     18 February 2010

1. Is there any possibility to take any legal action against her who is using such abusive language?

Ans. Do you have evidence since she might plead ignorance that she never spoke in an abusive manner.

2. If we take her word as true(ie he never loved me), is there any possibilty to proceed legally against him who played with my feelings and emotions and cheated me by saying that he will certainly marry me?

Ans. I doubt certainly not.

3. If the above are possible what are the steps I have to take to go ahead with a legal proceeding?

Ans. Since you know the law now that second marriage is illegal under law, I would rather suggest you forget the episode and move ahead in life. Even though his love may not be true but you are professing that your love is true and true love is always for sacrifice. By trying to proceed legally there will be mud slinging, character assasination, loss of peace for both of you and it might end up ruining his marital life and think of the disrepute it will bring to you and your family, please don't forget that you are in India, where the society will overlook a man's misdeeds but will never forgive for a woman's deeds and actions, in turn the society will blame you and tarnish your reputation.

2 Like

DR.SANAT KUMAR DASH (Eye Specialist)     18 February 2010

LALI      JI,    IT   IS    ADVISABLE     THAT     YOU    HAVE   TO     FORGET     YOUR    PAST     LOVE  AFFAIRS    &     GET     MARRY     TO     A      GOOD    BOY.    DON'T      THINK     ABOUT   LEGAL     ACTIONS     AS    IT   WILL  BE     A     LENGTHY      PROCEDURE.

Arvind Singh Chauhan (advocate)     18 February 2010

Follow Dr. Dash's advice.

Daksh (Student)     18 February 2010

Respected Ma'am,

I concur in toto what our reverred Doctor Sanat Kumar Dash has prescribed under the circumstances for you.

I would like to add the following from my part.

Commandments for Peace of Mind :

  • Do Not Interfere In Others’ Business Unless Asked.
  • Forgive And Forget.
  • Do Not Crave For Recognition.
  • Do Not Be Jealous.
  • Change Yourself According To The Environment.
  • Endure What Cannot Be Cured.
  • Do Not Bite Off More Than You Can Chew.
  • Meditate Regularly.
  • Never Leave The Mind Vacant.
  • Do Not Procrastinate And Never Regret

 

IDEAS TO KEEP IN YOUR MIND :

  • Pursue Achievable Goals
  • Keep Genuine Smiles
  • Share with Others
  • Help your Neighbors
  • Maintain A Youthful Spirit
  • Get Along with the Rich, the Poor, the Beautiful, and the Ugly
  • Keep Cool Under Pressure
  • Lighten the Atmosphere with Humor
  • Forgive the Annoyance of Others
  • Have a Few Pals
  • Treasure Every Moment with Your Love Ones
  • Cooperate and Reap Greater Rewards
  • Have High Confidence in Yourself
  • Respect the Disadvantaged
  • Indulge Yourself Occasionally
  • Surf the Net at Leisure
  • Take Calculated Risks
  • Understand “Money Isn’t Everything”

 

  • Real Pearls of life :

 

  • Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
    Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
    Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.
    When you say “I love you”, mean it.
    When you say “I’m sorry”, look the person in the eye.
    Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
    Believe in love at first sight.
    Never laugh at anyone’s dreams People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.
    Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt, but it’s the only way to live life completely.
    In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
    Don’t judge people by their relatives.
    Talk slowly but think quickly.
    When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”
    Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
    Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.
    When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
    Remember the three R’s: Respect for self, Respect for others, and Responsibility for all your actions.
    Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
    When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
    Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
    Spend some time alone.

All tbe very best in all your endeavours in life. God bless.

 

Best Regards

Daksh

Suchitra. S (Advocate)     18 February 2010

I completely agree with Vishal ji.

Meenakshi (Lawyer)     18 February 2010

wow Nice am mesmerized by Vishal sirs reply:)SO True...Why spoil your life for somebody else`s misdeeds....Besides he is not the only guy in this world.........;)

Anil Agrawal (Retired)     20 February 2010

Everybody will sympathise with you and also chide you for the innocence. This is one more example of LOVE IS BLIND.


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